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This guy I just can't understand

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Mar 1, 2011
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Hey guys :P Uhm, I've got this kind of dilemma, and it's just really annoying to me lately, so there's this guy who I met last summer, and we still talk like dailyon msn. So here's the story :$:P So I met him on gay.eu, and we met up a few days later in Amsterdam, we were just chilling, and having fun, and I stayed over at his place that night. We did nothing explicit of whatever, and the next day I left, and went back home. So after that day I started to really like him, and kind of fell in love with him.

So then like two weeks after we met up at the gay pride with his friends. We went out, just walked aroud the city, blah blah blah...
So then a few days after, I was chatting with him on msn and he asked me are you crishing on me and i said, ''maybe...:P''
So then he kid of froze and said he thought we were just friends. So that was like a really big dissapointment for me at the time.

So like last week or so, I met up with him again and stayed over at his place. We were pretty druk and stoned and we just talked, watched sopme tv, basically did nothing again. But I'm kind of confused because before I came over to his place, I actually changed my mind and said I'm not coming. So after I said that I wasn't comig, he basically kept askinhg if I could come for like an hour straight.

When I was there we were just talking about sex and he asked me whats the craziest position you've even been in. So then he walked upto me, and I was sitting on the couch, and he sitsd down on my lap and started riding me :s Like, dry-humpig me and I was like woah :p

But what I justr can't seem to figure out is what he wants because he's so on and off about things. Then he's very distant and on another moment he'll be very talkative and like, just fun. Maybe he's too scared to admit he liked me? Or maybe I'm just a delusional fool :P
So can anybody please help?
Thanks!
 
Hmm, I never thought about that. Maybe that's just it :p Hope not though :p
The weird thing is that he's asked me ''are you still crushing on me?'' To which I replied sayng no, even though I still am crushing on him. And he recently broke up with his boyfriend, like a week after I went to visit him again, that's why he's basically mind-fucking me :p
 
Hmm, I never thought about that. Maybe that's just it :p Hope not though :p
The weird thing is that he's asked me ''are you still crushing on me?'' To which I replied sayng no, even though I still am crushing on him. And he recently broke up with his boyfriend, like a week after I went to visit him again, that's why he's basically mind-fucking me :p

I'm thinking it's probably friends with benefits, but it's best to talk to him like loki81 said.

Good luck!
 
Is he really bf material right now? He's just out of a relationship and he was flirting big time while still in one. Any of his friends hot and single?
 
I'm sort of in the same situation as you, i mean as far as environmental parameters go.

I lived for 20 years in amsterdam (i moved away 4 months ago) and have been dating on gay.eu as well. I met a guy who has been giving me signals that he wants to become a friend of me, not my boyfriend. I'm okay with that, i think he's a bit too serious/mature for me (i like to party a lot, he likes to sit in cafe's).
If one of us were not clear about eachothers intentions (he simply said "i just wanna be friends" and i said "okay"), we might have been in the same situation as you and your guy.

So... give him a choice. Tell him:
"Do you want to date me or not? Cause if not, i will go on looking for another guy and we just stay friends."

Then he will have to weigh his priorities. Right now he's keeping you on edge.

Ik weet niet of dat de juiste vertaling is, maar ik bedoelde dus dat ie je aan het lijntje houd. Stel hem gewoon duidelijke vragen en als ie alleen vrienden wil zijn, moet je ook geen signalen meer gaan proberen te herkennen.
 
That's just the funny thing, and the reason wh he'sconfusing e so much is cause he's asked me three times whether i was still crushing on him or not, which makes me think that he could be asking that cause he senses i still am, and he doesn't want it, or maybe he wants to hear yes, but is stoo afraid to admit it...
But the strange thing is that he sent me a conversation he had with his bf (the one he recently dumped) at the time, which had them talking and the guy dumping his bf. And the guy I';m crushing on said he's looking for someone he has a lot in common with, and that's just it. We both smoke pot, we both love to party and go out, and we both have a bit of a crazy personality :p So when I read that i was kind of thinking like, WELL HERE I AM!!!! :p But I just don't know how to ake a move or give a sign that I maybe could still have some feelings for him. Or maybe I should just take it slow and befriend him more, cause friendship can always create something mopre !oops! :p
 
I would just hang out and talk and go from there. If he asks you the crushing thing, be honest and also ask him why he's asking it.

Also, as much fun as partying, pot, and being a little crazy is (minus the pot, I like the other two activities), what are your other common interests?
 
I would just hang out and talk and go from there. If he asks you the crushing thing, be honest and also ask him why he's asking it.

Also, as much fun as partying, pot, and being a little crazy is (minus the pot, I like the other two activities), what are your other common interests?


Lol, that's exactly what I'm gonna do next tie he aks me, I'm just gonna be like,'' dude why are you asking do you wanna hear yeah or something?'' Last time he asked I just said well you're a handsome dude and you've got a nice personality but you said you wanted to be friends when I asked so I respect that :p

And my opther interests, I love writing songs, drawing, hanging out, singing, dancing, I really love doing a lot of things :p
 
Well I would definitely pursue it.

Does he like music too?
 
I am gonna pursue it, I'm gonna be a fucking superstar baby !oops! :p
And yeah, he likes some of the music I like too, but he's not into making it and stuff like that/
 
So it's like a few days later, and he keeps talking to me on msn more and more. When it was usually me who started the conversation. And he respected a pic of me on my hyves (a networking site, basically the same as facebook :p)
So I'm just taking it slow I guess, and just start off as just friends :D
 
So it's like a few days later, and he keeps talking to me on msn more and more. When it was usually me who started the conversation. And he respected a pic of me on my hyves (a networking site, basically the same as facebook :p)
So I'm just taking it slow I guess, and just start off as just friends :D

Sounds good!
 
So here's another update.

I was with him thi saturday, we met up in the daytime and just hung out, after that we went to his home, made dinner, had 2 bottles of wine, and then my best friend came and we drank another bottle of vadka, so then the three of us headed back to Amsterdam, and we went out, He had to vomit and I basically kinda took care of him. When we were in the bus, back to his home he was half asleep half awake but he grapped my hand and we had our fingers wrapped around each other's :P So I made sure we got to his home safely and we just went to bed, nothing happened.

So now it's a few days after, but he can barely remember anything from saturday :P
So on gay.eu this kid asked me if I wanted to hang out this weekend, and I told the guy I went out with, and still have a crush on. So now the guy who I like is trying to couple me with the guy from gay.eu. But I keep giving him little hint's, like saying ''I'll just sait till that one guy opens his eyes and sees it'' But he just never seems to get it. Maybe I should make a move next time, or drop more obvius clues?
 
I quite enjoyed the holding hands part of your story. It seems like he appreciated you taking care of him.

But, I'm rather curious on why you are still searching dating sites? & Why really why you felt the need to talk to the guy you are interested in about other guys. To me it seems like it might be just as confusing for him as it is for you on where things stand. & His reaction would have been no different if he was interested or not. Although, if he is interested he might have been hurt by it, and wanted to be supportive.

I really think you both need to have a serious talk about where things are going. There is too much vagueness between both of you.- Personally that would drive me insane. Just tell him already! How you'd like something more with him, and how you are really unsure of where he stands with that idea.

I really think that it needs to be quite clear if he's willing to be more then friends. So, you both can move on from it, although if it's just friendship, personally I would start to pull back, and just move on with your life. Sometimes it's too easy to cling onto the hope of something more, then the reality of the situation. Don't stop living your life for a hope, a dream of something in the future. Find someone that is willing to be loved and love back.

So, just talk. See where things are. Stop with the games, and mystery. If he likes you or cares about you he will not judge you or make you feel ashamed for having such feelings, and they are your feelings, thoughts.- They are you. Go with it, if it doesn't work out move on. You'll be better off in the end.

Goodluck.
 
I'm not interested in other guys though, that's just the thing, gay.eu is also a site where I talk to lots of normal friends of mine :P
And yeah, I definitelyk understan where you're coming from. But like I said, I think I'm just gonna take it easy, and be friends for now, cause friendship can create something more :P But thanks for reading and relpying at least :$
 
I'm not interested in other guys though, that's just the thing, gay.eu is also a site where I talk to lots of normal friends of mine :P
And yeah, I definitelyk understan where you're coming from. But like I said, I think I'm just gonna take it easy, and be friends for now, cause friendship can create something more :P But thanks for reading and relpying at least :$

As long as you don't get hung up on this guy and wait for him to get interested while other people pass you by, I think you'll be okay. It just seems to me like you like this guy and should just put your cards on the table and have a talk with him instead of hoping that something more will be created.
 
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