This So Called Love: Chapter Six
“You’re saying you broke up with Valerie to be with him?”
Everything seemed so surreal. Dustin, my best friend, the person who has been with me for practically all of my life, had just found out about my secret boyfriend of only a week. Found out about the secret I was planning to keep hidden behind closed doors for a while. The secret that could potentially ruin my life.
An anxious feeling began to develop in the pit of my stomach. I felt incredibly uneasy as I glanced back and forth between the two guys in my room.
“To keep a long story short, yes. I left the girl I was deeply in love with to be with a guy I had just met.”
I waited for Dustin to get up from the chair and storm out of my room, but it didn’t happen. I waited for the screamed slurs to fill my quiet room, but it didn’t happen. I waited for Dustin to tell me off before saying that the idea of his best friend being gay completely disgusted him, but this didn’t happen either.
Dustin just sat there casually glancing between Sam, who was still standing in the doorway of my room as if he was frozen, and me. He looked Sam over cautiously from his head to his feet. I could tell he wasn’t missing out on any of Sam’s best details. When he was done looking him over, he returned his attention to me, locking his eyes on mine. I stared back as we sat there. Those few short moments felt like hours. I felt as if he was looking into my soul for answers.
“Well, Taylor.” He finally said, almost as though he was clearing his throat. My heartbeat doubled its speed as I waited for what would come next. “If he were to ever hurt you, I definitely wouldn’t be able to kick his ass.” And then he smiled at me before stealing another glance at Sam.
I had to pinch myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream, that I hadn’t just imagined his reaction.
Then I began to think maybe he was kidding. He has a joking personality, but a joke this cruel . . . it was not in Dustin’s nature. All I could do was stare at him while reality sank in. I was staring at Dustin. Dustin had his gaze locked on me. And from the corner of my eye I could see Sam casually glancing back and forth between the two of us and the floor.
If I was feeling this shaken up, Sam had to be twice unsure of what was happening. He had come into my room not expecting to see a complete stranger sitting in my chair. And I was sure he hadn’t expected to hear me saying I was gay.
In an effort to lighten the thick mood hanging over the three of us, I cleared my throat and forced myself to speak. “Dustin , for real…you’re not…mad?”
“How could I be mad at you for being attracted to guys?” He looked over in Sam’s direction again. “Especially a good looking guy like him.”
Sam started laughing while Dustin swayed in the chair lightly smiling. Every negative thought, feeling and instinct I had disappeared. My worst fears were proven false. My best friend and newly made boyfriend were in the same room and neither one was yelling at the other.
I fell backwards on my bed and dragged my hands down over my face exhaling heavily. I felt as if a huge weight was suddenly lifted off of my shoulders. My life could once again return to normal without hundreds of thoughts racing through my head about Sam and me. I couldn’t help but smile at the ceiling while the two of them continued laughing at Dustin’s previous statement. Never would I have imagined that I would be able to have a boyfriend while being able to keep my best friend around. It felt good to have them both. I felt incredibly lucky and privileged.
“Is this what was bothering you in school?” Dustin asked.
“Yeah,” Sam chimed in, “why aren’t the two of you in school?”
“Taylor had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway before homeroom even started.”
“What caused that?”
“Val left a letter in my locker.” I fumbled with the folder to find the opened envelope. I was apprehensive about opening it, but after I debated in my head about what to do with it for a moment or two, I decided to just go ahead and read it.
“Who’s Val?”
“He doesn’t know about her, Taylor?”
“I don’t think I told him about her yet.”
“Well, I think this might be the time to fill him in.” Dustin said as he grabbed his keys off my desk before giving me a hug. “I’ll always be your best friend, no matter what. This doesn’t change anything but I know it will make us all that much closer.”
He gave me a reassuring smile before shaking Sam’s hand. “And it was nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other in the near future.” He headed into the hallway towards the stairs. “Take good care of him for me!”
“He seems really nice.” Sam made his way to my bed and sat down next to me. “You’re really lucky to have him.”
“I’m just so glad it went this well.” I leaned into him, hoping he would put an arm around me. “I felt as if I were going to throw up with all the thinking I did about the different ways this situation could have played out.”
“I don’t think it could have went any better if you planned it.”
“I’m just glad it’s over and done with,” I said.
He didn’t say anything more. He just placed his left hand on my body and pulled me close to him.
“I’m guessing you want to hear about Val now that it‘s just the two of us.”
“Well yeah, it would be nice to know about this mysterious girl who made you cry because she wrote you a letter.”
“It might be a long story. I tend to rant when I really get into certain things.”
“I have all day.”
“I don’t think it’ll take that long.” I shot a smile in his direction. “Well you obviously know I had a girlfriend when I met you and that I broke up with her because I was beginning to have feelings for you. Valerie, Val as I call her for short, is that girl. We met back in sophomore year and became really good friends. The two of us started to spend time with each other after school in the library going over our studies, but this soon grew to be more. Before I knew it, I was being invited to her parties, or parties of her friends, and we would spend the whole time together. We had a blast hanging out with each other, watching our friends get drunk and make foolish mistakes.” I laughed to myself. “This one time, this guy James tried making his way over to talk to her but fell right over the coffee table. The two of us couldn’t stop laughing so we went into the backyard to get some fresh air. That night…we kissed.
We didn’t speak to each other for a few days after that night though. We both felt awkward. I think it was the following Wednesday when we crossed each other’s paths in the hallway. She looked so beautiful standing against her locker. The way her hair fell perfectly on her shoulders, how her clothes accentuated her body without revealing it too much, and how her flawless face glowed under the florescent lights above all captivated me. I fell in love with her that day. I couldn’t keep myself from kissing her and she didn’t stop me from doing it. That Wednesday was the official start of our relationship.
We both agreed to take everything slowly since we had the same feelings about intimacy and sex. I think I even waited six months before I took my shirt off while we were together. I truly loved her. I was petrified of rushing something she wasn’t comfortable with that had the possibility of ruining what we had going. Everyone in school pressured us to just have sex with each other to get it over with, but we ignored them. We knew we had something special. We knew that when the time was right it would just happen.”
“Did that time ever happen, Taylor?”
“Yes, it did. It was after a little more than over a year of going out and spending time with each other on an almost daily basis. It started off as playful kissing, but something happened where the both of us kept becoming more and more aggressive. Kissing turned to making out which turned to grabbing and ultimately led to me lying on top of her on the bed. She initiated the first move and I worryingly accepted. She was the one who asked if I was carrying a condom. I was shaking so bad that she even had to open it for me. I remember thinking that I was going to be absolutely terrible in bed with her, that I wouldn’t last more than a minute or two, and that she would get upset with me because of it. None of that proved to be true. It all went swimmingly like it had been planned out.”
“If you two were that in love with one another, then why did you leave her for me? I know you said you were developing feelings towards me, but if you were that deeply in love with her, couldn’t you have just ignored me?”
“That’s the next part in the story. We kept going strong for the next year. We continued to see each other after school at least three times a week. Intimacy was never the main focus when we were together. If something sparked between us, we would allow it to happen, allow nature to take its course. We never forced anything to happen.
Last year, a week or two after school ended for summer recess, Val went to some sort of horseback riding camp for a month. We spent a lot of time together before she left for four whole weeks and even had sex more often. I planned on working at a local coffee shop to occupy myself while she was gone. For the most part it, worked nicely. My mind wasn’t locked on her all day and night, but only a few hours a day. Of course I missed her, missed spending my spare time with her, but I wasn’t depressed or anything. Some of my time was spent talking to her on the phone, or writing letters to her. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.
Unfortunately, this came to an end. About three weeks into summer the coffee shop hired a new employee. It was a guy my age from my school and he was incredibly good looking. Long story short, we ended up spending a lot of time together while Val was away. One day when both of us were in his backyard swimming in the pool, he told me he was bisexual and that he’d noticed I had been staring at him. I was honest with him and told him I was attracted to him and also told him I wasn’t sure of my own sexual orientation. He asked if he could kiss me and surprisingly I allowed him to. That day in his pool, I knew I was attracted to guys too.
The first day she came back from camp, I told Val about what happened. I felt horrible for doing it when all she wanted to do was finally spend some time with me. She ended up slapping me and yelling about my loyalty to her. She belittled me for a good hour before she burst out in tears, all the time telling me how much I had hurt her.
I apologized to her over and over again and promised her I wouldn’t allow myself to indulge in such selfish behaviors again. After that we acted as if nothing had ever happened and went back to life the way it had been before summer break.
Then when I met you and felt those feelings boiling in my blood once again, I knew I had to end it with her. A few weeks before I met you, I had already noticed my attraction toward her was decreasing. Intimacy rarely happened any more. I didn’t know the cause at first and thought maybe I was becoming depressed. But once I saw you, I just knew. The puzzle finally made sense, Sam. I ended my relationship with her because I realized I was gay. I realized I was lying to myself when I was with her. I realized I wanted you.”
“I’m not going to let you throw away a three-year relationship with a girl you incredibly love to be with me, Taylor.”
“I still love and care about Val, but I want to be with you now. If there were even a small piece of me that wasn’t sure about leaving Val for you, I wouldn’t have done it. Recently you’ve been the one on my mind instead of her. All I know is that my mind and my body yearn for you. You’re always in my thoughts and I…” I paused. Part of me wanted to tell him exactly what I imagined doing with him. How intimate I wanted to be. How much I wanted to share. Another part held me back, counseled caution. Don’t go too fast.
As Sam opened his mouth to speak, I cut him off, afraid what he might say, where it might lead me, no, lead us. “It was never like that with Val. She never consumed my thoughts the way you do. It wasn’t like that with her, or hasn’t been for a long time. I’m completely sure of this. I want to be with you.”
“I just don’t want you to regret being with me.” We remained silent for a few seconds that seemed to drag on for hours. “I’m nothing to write home about.”
“You’re nothing to write home about?”
He nodded without looking at me. He looked as if a wave of sadness had just crashed over him, keeping him in the undertow, slowly drowning.
“I could write a whole novel about you, Sam. The cover would be your sculpted face with the title in an icy blue color to match your incredible eyes. The spine would be of your powerful abs, holding all the pages together with their strength. The pages would be a golden ash color, just like the messy hair atop of you head.”
He began blushing at my flattering words.
“And the words on the pages would be your personality. They would tell a story of a one-of-a-kind guy who has the kindest heart made of gold. They would tell stories of your affection, the sense of humor that continuously makes me smile, and the warmth you generate.”
“I’m sure you say that to everyone.”
“I really don’t. You can try to convince me I’m lying since it’s only been a little over a week since we first met, but it’s all true. I know I don’t know many things about you, but I can tell that you have all these qualities in just the little time we‘ve spent together. I texted you in the early hours of the morning today, telling you to come over to my house because I wanted you, and you complied. Not once did you even ask me why I wanted you to come over. You just showed up. I don’t know many people who would have done that for me, Sam.”
“I do care about you, Taylor. I care about you a lot and am more than willing to sacrifice things to help you in a time of need.”
We both continued to sit on my bed staring at the other. His eyes moved back and forth gently as he stared at me. I couldn’t help but let out a small giggle and smile at him. He smiled back at me, his pearly white teeth moving closer to me. I began to move toward him too until our mouths were only centimeters away from each other. I slowly closed my eyes while opening my mouth. I waited for his lips to touch mine.
The feeling was electric as his lips finally touched my own. His rough lips rested against my soft, un-weathered ones, not doing anything. Just touching. I decided to make the next move tenderly biting down on his lower lip. A small moan escaped his mouth signaling his pleasure in our kiss. Then he quickly took lead while I just went along for the ride.
His hands grabbed at my hips and found the hem of my shirt. He toyed with my shirt as if he was going to lift it up, but he never did so. He cautiously put his tongue in my mouth a little, increasing the passion of our kiss. It was the first time he had kissed me with that much intensity. I sensed that, despite his passion, he was holding back, thinking I might not approve.
I decided to take the lead, hoping it would be the last time I had to be the aggressor. I let my tongue venture completely into his mouth, but I didn’t do anything with it. I waited for Sam to acknowledge my approval and return to his role as dominant partner. Before I knew it, he had his tongue all the way in my mouth, exploring this new territory.
His hands, which had been toying with the bottom of my shirt, were now in the process of pulling it off of my body. He managed to lift it to my neck without removing his mouth from mine, but wasn’t able to do so any further. He reluctantly pulled away from my moist mouth, pulling the shirt I was wearing over my head and letting it fall into his lap.
“Hell,” he looked down at my exposed body, “you get me so worked up.”
He grabbed the bottom of his own shirt, and with one swift motion removed it, exposing his muscular body. His pectorals fell back into place and bounced once or twice as his arms returned to his sides. Every time I saw his torso exposed I was like a little child walking into a candy store. I liked, no, loved everything I saw and wanted all of it. My eyes locked on his hardening nipples before they moved down to his abdominals. They were so meticulously sculpted.
As I stared in awe, he grabbed at my waist once more. I thought he was going to pull my shorts off, but he didn’t. Instead, he lifted me off the bed and placed me in his lap with his hands on my butt.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, interlocking my fingers, and looked up into his beautiful face. He slowly rubbed his hands up and down my back, but I knew he was more interested in getting them inside my underwear. And sure enough, his hands slid past the soft waistband of my boxer briefs and grabbed onto my cheeks. He smiled down at me devilishly, looking into my eyes before he placed his lips back on mine.
Sam definitely knew how to kiss. I didn’t have to do any work yet still found myself meeting his actions with my own. I involuntarily matched every bite, head motion, and tongue movement. He knew how to use his mouth and tongue to make someone melt because I most certainly was melting in his arms. I was slipping into a world of pleasure, forgetting about reality.
The one thing that wasn’t melting was Sam’s dick. I could clearly feel his tool lodged beneath me. It had grown rock solid at an alarming rate. I don’t know if it was all the kissing or the fact that my butt was giving his cock some added friction whenever I moved. Whatever was causing it to get excited was surely working, because his dick seemed to continue to grow and grow and grow. Even when I thought it couldn’t get any longer, it proved me wrong. Even when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any harder, it proved me wrong.
It felt huge under me. I could feel it throb as it pressed against my butt. I could imagine how much it ached, wanting access to my hole, wanting to penetrate me right through my pants and underwear.
I began to get nervous. Was that what Sam was in the mood for? I began to fear that he wanted to try to make love to me. I hadn’t expected this. I wasn’t ready for I it. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe how it felt to have my hole pressed against his dick like this. His dick felt so incredibly hard and alive pressing against me. It was so close and hot and needy.
As much as I was afraid what he might do, I didn’t want to let him down. As we pressed close against each other and continued our passionate kiss, I began to think that if he really wanted to try to have sex with me, I should just let him. I would take the pain so Sam could have his moment of pleasure. I’d gone this far, I could…
“Mmmm.” He broke away from me once again. “I need to get my pants off, Taylor.”
“Let me do it for you.”
“Can you hurry up? I’m so hard it’s beginning to hurt being cramped like this.” I lifted my weight from his lap and he shoved his hand down into his pants between us in an effort to create some more room for his friend. “There really isn’t enough space for it.”
I quickly hopped off of him. I noticed how obvious it was that my own hard dick was creating a tent in my shorts. Again I felt I didn’t measure up to Sam and wondered why he didn’t seem to care. I tried not to think about that as I grabbed hold of my clothes before focusing my attention back on Sam. I pulled both my pants and boxers down my legs with one swift motion.
Sam’s attention was now focused on my tool, which was sticking straight out hard and straight as a piece of metal. I watched for any sign of disapproval or disappointment. But even through his pants I could see that his dick jumped with excitement as he stared at mine. I could swear his was still growing even more.
He let out a wince as his jeans restricted the growth of his sensitive dick. I realized I shouldn’t be worried about myself, and that I was supposed to be helping him. I practically threw myself at him to grasp the zipper and open the dark fabric His eyes snapped shut.
Once I had opened the zipper completely, Sam forced his hand down his boxers once more and worked carefully to position his rigid dick through the opening. His pole seemed to spring at chance to be free of the constricting prison it had been in.
I returned my attention back to his pants and tugged them down towards his ankles. As I got them over his feet, I saw he already had his boxers down to his knees, waiting for me to take them off as well. I took a good long look at his dick. It stood up completely straight, passing his belly button and reaching just below his nipples. I threw his clothes on the floor with mine and made my way back to the bed.
I sat in front of him, looking into his eyes once again while he looked into mine. We occasionally took a look at each other’s dicks and smiled.
“So where do we go from here, Sam?”
“Where would you like to go, kid?”
“I really don’t know. I’ve never been this far with a guy, so I’m completely lost.”
“Personally, I don’t think I should have sex with you.” I couldn’t help but notice how his dick jumped with excitement at the word “sex”. “As much as I really want to explore that part of you, you are nowhere near ready for that. And if this is the furthest you’ve been with a guy, I highly doubt you’d be able to give me a blow job.”
“Even if I was able to get most of that in my mouth,” I motioned in the direction of his still rock solid tool, “I don’t think I’m mentally ready to have a penis in my mouth.”
“We can have a mutual jack-off session.” He sort of shrugged as he suggested it, as if inviting me to say if it was okay or not. But even as the words had left his mouth, he was already wrapping the fingers of his right hand around the long shaft of his dick and stoking it lightly. “I can’t go on for much longer with this raging hard-on, Taylor. I need to release myself.”
The sight of him pleasuring himself captivated me completely. Watching his hand softly playing with his cock, I couldn’t resist dropping my own hand into my lap. My hand grabbed at the base of my cock and slowly made its way up towards the sensitive head. I tried mirroring every move he made, but wasn’t able to do so exactly. Each time I reached my pinkish mushroom head, he was only three-quarters of the way to the top of his dick. It didn’t really bother me much that we didn’t have the same rhythm, because I was so content watching him jack himself off.
Before too long, when I felt a surge of excitement begin to build in my balls, I increased my speed. I even started making a twisting motion with my hand as it made contact with the tip of my cock, sending an extra surge of pleasure coursing through my body. I never once removed my stare from Sam’s hand moving up and down on the pole between his legs. I was mesmerized and I’m pretty sure he was too. He was staring right at me as I continued to jack off in front of him.
He looked up at my face every so often to see what my expression was. In all honesty, I loved what was going on right now. I loved the fact that I was getting off by watching Sam pleasure himself only a few inches away from me. I loved the fact that I was able to hear the skin of his hand against his dick. I loved the fact I was able to hear the little moans and sighs escaping from his mouth, even though he tried to cover them up. Most of all, I loved his smell. The smell of his cologne and man scent mixed together, filling my room. I loved being there with him.
A tingling sensation started in my balls while my scrotum started to pull up tight. I knew what this meant and increased my speed even more, making sure to twist at the tip for that added pleasure. I even started to tweak one of my nipples to throw a different sensation into the mix.
As I stroked my aching dick and stared at Sam’s, his free arm moved and I guessed he too had taken a hold of one his nipples. I kept my eyes locked on his hand, which was now flying over his tool. The amount of effort he put into a single stoke amazed me. The muscles in his arm twitched as he brought it up ten inches and then back down ten inches. His pectorals were tensing too and shook gently at first, but grew rather violent over the next few seconds. His abs were constantly clenching and releasing as we sat there face-to-face getting closer and closer to cumming.
This was real. Inches apart we each stroked our raging dicks. We were both hard and getting so close. I could feel the heat coming off his body. I could smell his manly scent. I could see and almost feel his whole body working in unison as he focused all his attention on his dick.
At that moment I didn’t think I had ever been so hard in my life. I wished it could be like this forever, me and Sam together.
That feeling of control being lost passed through my body and I knew what was in store. I kicked my legs out to either side of him while he brought his own inside of mine. The touch of his legs against mine caused me to let out a loud moan. Feeling his touch, his warmth, the rhythmic motion of his stroking was amazing.
I snapped my eyes shut out of pure pleasure. I wanted to open my eyes to see his cock twitching in his hand, approaching that point of utmost happiness, but I couldn’t. The pleasure I was feeling was getting to the point ecstasy and I knew Sam must be feeling the same thing.
Just when I thought I couldn’t feel anymore pleasure, Sam moved his feet against my balls. He moved his toes, stroking my tight nut sack. The feeling of someone else pleasuring me in addition to myself doing so pushed me over the edge. I’m not a screamer when I’m jacking off, but this was no normal jack-off experience.
I screamed in pleasure as the first stream of my cum rocketed out of my dick. My eyes were closed and my head tilted back, but I think my cum must have hit Sam. He seemed to jerk back just after that first shot, causing his toes to dig into my testicles. This caused me more pleasure though and my next load of cum shot even harder and probably hit him again.
I was still screaming as the next four ropes of cum shot out of me, practically in a constant flow. The hole at the tip of my head was actually beginning to hurt and I wanted my jizz to stop shooting out. It didn’t happen that way though. Sam continued to stroke my nuts and my dick continued to pump out the creamy white liquid, and I continued to moan and shoot and cry out in the ecstasy of it all.
Finally my orgasmic high was coming to an end. As it did, I heard Sam let out a loud moan and felt his legs go stiff. In a flash, I felt something hit against my chest. I finally opened my eyes and saw Sam’s hand vigorously pumping his dick, cum shooting out in large powerful streams toward me. I looked down at my chest and saw his fresh dick juice splattered there in streaks and pools of thick cum. I could smell it. My body shivered at how real this all was. What we had just done.
Hearing Sam continue to pleasure himself continued to keep my mind stirred up in its frenzy of sex. Thoughts of sticking my finger in his fresh cum, scooping this fragrant juice from my chest and putting it in my mouth filled my mind. The more I heard him moan and saw his body convulse, the more I wanted to taste him.
Obviously my powers of restraint had all but crumbled. I gave into my curiosities. His cum was thick and rich and surprisingly wasn’t that easy to scoop up from my chest. It slipped between my fingers a few times as I fumbled to control it. At last a thick glob of his cum clung to my fingers before and I held it before my face. I looked at it closely, convincing myself I was definitely going to taste it.
Until that moment, Sam had been completely focused on his own cock, only glancing occasionally to see where his cum had landed on me. As I brought my hand toward my mouth, he reduced his jack-off motions to a slow pace, squeezing the last drops of his seed out. I was fascinated by his swollen red cocklips covered in the fresh slim of his cum. I glanced down at my own and saw it looked to be the same.
I took a hard swallow before gingerly sliding my cum-covered index and middles fingers into my mouth, knowing Sam’s eyes were glued to what I was doing.
“I didn’t think you were that open and willing. I’m actually proud of you for taking the step forward.”
I just nodded, feeling a strange mix of pride and embarrassment. Sam’s cum tasted so different than mine. Better, I thought.
“How does it taste?”
“Good, I like it more than my own.” I scooped another sample from my chest and held my fingers out for him to taste. He opened his mouth wide and took them in. He swirled his tongue around inside his mouth and sucked on my fingers before swallowing.
“Mine tastes the same as it always has.” He said while smiling at me. Then he swiped a sample of my cum that had been about to drip from the tip of my still semi-hard cock and put it in his mouth. He didn’t say anything, just let out a contented sigh and smiled at me. “Do you want to taste your own?”
“No thanks.” I said as the rush of orgasm and its afterglow faded and a little reserve returned.
“Do you mind?” He asked without waiting for my response to scoop some of my cum that had pooled between my thigh and my dick in addition to some more of his cum from my chest. He seemed to savor our cum like a fine wine, first smelling the blend on his fingers before putting it on his tongue. I could see the textures of our juices intertwined on his outstretched tongue. He drew them in and swirled them around.
I noted he had never swallowed. He leaned into share a kiss with me, with the precious seed resting in his mouth. He gingerly placed his lips against mine, awaiting a sign of approval from me before continuing with his action. I reluctantly gave into to him, opening my mouth, allowing our juices to flow from his mouth to mine.
I had no idea what came next. Whatever it was going to be, I was sure I wasn’t ready for it, but I didn’t want to turn back either. I had set out on this new path and, scary as it was at times, I felt almost certain it was the right one. Although I wasn’t sure about a lot of the territory that comes along with being gay, I knew that as long as I’m with Sam, that I’ll try everything he throws at me.
