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Threesomes in a Relationship

T

TheColorBlue

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I've been dating this guy for 4 months now. He is my first real relationship. We've had some rocky moments, but we're both very happy with each other. Recently, the question about a threesome popped up in our talk about sex.

A few weeks ago, we were talking about sexual experiences. He had told me he had a circle jerk with three other people in his swim team back in high school. During this night though, he elaborated and explained that he kind of withheld on details. The circle jerk in the showers was actually two dudes jacking him off while the third watched this all take place. He told me it was one of the hottest memories he's had and the question about a threesome popped up.

Not gonna lie, a threesome is a fantasy of mine and I'd be interested in doing it. His story turns me on and I do sometimes fantasize about being right in that situation with him. However, I'm happy without a threesome and just leaving it as a fantasy. My boyfriend actually took back the idea of a threesome after he had suggested it the first time and said he was happy with our relationship and our sex.

The idea of a threesome has popped up every now and then though. We joke about it, we mention it, sometimes it comes up while we're having sex. It's not a frequent occurrence, but it happens. What do you guys think? Any stories about how a threesome in a relationship turned out?
 
Try it if you can't get it off your mind, but set up ground rules first. Like, with no one you know, someone you both get turned on by etc.

Yeah ive done the threesome...but thats for another time. x
 
It's only been 4 months, so it seems a bit soon to be talking about threesomes, but different people have different sex drives, so I'll move on from that point.

I think as long as you lay some ground rules, you should be okay. Make sure you both agree to and understand the rules.
 
I never gave it much thought until my ex suggested it. We tried it, he liked it, I hated it. One of the reasons he's an ex.
 
agree with Lucky..way too early to bring another into the relationship
 
Many, many gay relationships are open and flirt and/or experiment with threesomes. I will say, that once you cross that line, your relationship will never be the same.
 
If you want to try it, go ahead. I think you've got to set ground rules as others have suggested.

I've done it a couple of times. Just something different that's all.
 
crashman1218 said:
Wow........

Wow........

brb

Wow........
Click to expand...

haha. yep, that was my reaction too. It's kind of cute because although he admitted to it being one his hottest experiences, he doesn't like talking about it much because the whole event was awkward for him at the time. He was actually kind of embarrassed talking about it until I did a little bit of coaxing to get it out of him.

Anyways, I figure if the subject comes up again, I'll talk to him about it and be open with it. I'll see if this is something both of us really want. My biggest fear is mostly because it's completely unknown territory to me. Not sure how it would work. He's had one threesome experience with two females and I guess the whole shower thing, so he's has only slightly more experience about it. He told me that when he had a threesome with his old girlfriend, he didn't really care about her. He was doing it for sex with two girls at the same time, he admitted to having selfish reasons. That's when he told me that a threesome with two dudes is a fantasy of his, but he's happy with the sex we've been having just between us and doesn't need the threesome. I did like that he was honest with me about that.

I really just don't want this relationship to implode because of the consequences of a threesome. At the same time, I think I have enough trust and faith in our relationship to believe that we'd still be okay. I'm kind of on the borderline with the idea. Yeah, it's something I want, but I don't think I'd want to risk my relationship for it. Am I being too prude? Or maybe completely contradictory?

And hypothetically, if we went through with it. What are the ground rules for a relationship in a threesome? I guess I didn't get the "Guide to Threesomes in a Relationship" Handbook and I doubt I'll find it in Barnes & Noble.
 
My number one, single most important rule when having a third join my guy and me is:

It's all about the guest.

Please him, make him happy, give him what he wants (within reason) and realize it's not about us.
 
My partner and I decided early on that neither of us were capable of following any type of 3-way guideline. I can't speak for my partner, but I would have had feelings of jealousy if they were really getting into it and feelings of fear and guilt if my partner was being left out. I always seemed to envision the next day arguments. And then the mechanics of finding someone led me to think our taste in men was too different for us to both be satisfied. For these reasons and more we've always opted to keep it a fantasy.
 
I think after today, I've decided not to go through with the threesome. Jealousy. Drunken jealousy. My boyfriend is a drunken mess right now due to jealousy about a dude I dated right before him. I'm thinking that a threesome wouldn't end well.
 
Hopefully his jealousy won't become a trend when he's drunk but that is the biggest problems with 3ways. It is very hard to pull them off and not have one or the other be jealous.
 
Talked it out with him the day after and found out that he had been comparing himself to the last dude I dated. He has insecurities of not being good enough for me. Anyways, we worked things out between us and by the end of the day we were all better again.

So, during a little make-up sex, the subject of a threesome got brought up again. We were talking about our fantasies again. It's clear we both want it. Both of us don't want this to effect our relationship in a negative way though. Haven't spoken to him about my reluctance due to his random jealousy. He's not usually that jealous. For now though, I think the threesome will just remain a fantasy until we can come to stable terms on that.
 
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