justjoshoh
JUB Addict
So, I was enjoying a nice dinner with the people I have worked with, both past and present, tonight as we celebrated a birthday. It wasn't a big ordeal, just pizza and beer.
While at the pizza place, someone had the grand idea to go to a local bar for karaoke. I wasn't thrilled with the suggestion, even tried to weasel out of it. Nonetheless, they got me to go with them.
Some of us were drinking in moderation, some were sloshed, and designated drivers made sure we all returned to our final destination safely.
While at the bar, I was standing by one of my female co-workers. She had been drinking somewhat heavily. It is hard to tell how much of the ubiquitous truth serum she had tonight. They were purchasing beer by the pitcher and topping off the glasses frequently. Needless to say, she was one of people who were sloshed.
She started to become a bit tipsy so I was helping her stand up by holding on to her. That was my second mistake.
My first mistake happened a long time ago, while reading a book by a certain right-wingish, fair and balanced, no-spin talk show host's book. The author suggested that you should "keep your sex life private". I have not told people at work that I am gay, though some of my co-workers are trying to figure it out (read previous entries for that escapade), because it really isn't their issue. Besides, I was following what I thought was good advice. Unfortunately, I followed the same advice for the family as well.
I have come to the conclusion that it is difficult to keep a sex life private, when people believe that just because they do not see you coupled in their presence, that you are a confirmed heterosexual bachelor.
Back to my second mistake... My co-worker continued to use me as a support. She went basically leaning on me to hugging me. Then she said that she really liked me. Since the music was loud, I didn't respond, not wanting to shout as loud as I could in a bar full of people that I am gay. We left shortly after her revelation and the issue did not come up.
Assuming that the alcohol provided her the encouragement to speak freely, since she never brought this up previously, I wonder if she will bring it up at work.
If she does, I can not lie to her, and will have to tell her I am gay. That can lead to some "damage control issues" for me. I've told friends that I am gay, some co-workers have found out through an internet site, but my family still has not been told.
There seems to be two logical ways to pursue this, tell my family prior to telling her, or tell my family after telling her. One of those two options will most likely have to occur, since my brother's friends and this group of people overlap. It will eventually get back to the family.
If she doesn't, the issue will not be pursued further by myself.
I hope all of this seems rationally thought out. I've got about 12 hours or so to figure out how to play this hand, so to speak. As the subject says though, I think it is time for full disclosure.
Finally, on a completely different note...
Why did it have to be one of the several females in my past or present life that push the Kinsey needle closer to bisexual rather than completely gay? I know that it would become a "brokeback" relationship, so I could not put her or myself through the pain, but she is... she has... well it is sort of indescribable. It is like I have affection for her, but not a sexual attraction. Honestly, there was a part of me that enjoyed holding her, that enjoyed the emotional attachment.
While at the pizza place, someone had the grand idea to go to a local bar for karaoke. I wasn't thrilled with the suggestion, even tried to weasel out of it. Nonetheless, they got me to go with them.
Some of us were drinking in moderation, some were sloshed, and designated drivers made sure we all returned to our final destination safely.
While at the bar, I was standing by one of my female co-workers. She had been drinking somewhat heavily. It is hard to tell how much of the ubiquitous truth serum she had tonight. They were purchasing beer by the pitcher and topping off the glasses frequently. Needless to say, she was one of people who were sloshed.
She started to become a bit tipsy so I was helping her stand up by holding on to her. That was my second mistake.
My first mistake happened a long time ago, while reading a book by a certain right-wingish, fair and balanced, no-spin talk show host's book. The author suggested that you should "keep your sex life private". I have not told people at work that I am gay, though some of my co-workers are trying to figure it out (read previous entries for that escapade), because it really isn't their issue. Besides, I was following what I thought was good advice. Unfortunately, I followed the same advice for the family as well.
I have come to the conclusion that it is difficult to keep a sex life private, when people believe that just because they do not see you coupled in their presence, that you are a confirmed heterosexual bachelor.
Back to my second mistake... My co-worker continued to use me as a support. She went basically leaning on me to hugging me. Then she said that she really liked me. Since the music was loud, I didn't respond, not wanting to shout as loud as I could in a bar full of people that I am gay. We left shortly after her revelation and the issue did not come up.
Assuming that the alcohol provided her the encouragement to speak freely, since she never brought this up previously, I wonder if she will bring it up at work.
If she does, I can not lie to her, and will have to tell her I am gay. That can lead to some "damage control issues" for me. I've told friends that I am gay, some co-workers have found out through an internet site, but my family still has not been told.
There seems to be two logical ways to pursue this, tell my family prior to telling her, or tell my family after telling her. One of those two options will most likely have to occur, since my brother's friends and this group of people overlap. It will eventually get back to the family.
If she doesn't, the issue will not be pursued further by myself.
I hope all of this seems rationally thought out. I've got about 12 hours or so to figure out how to play this hand, so to speak. As the subject says though, I think it is time for full disclosure.
Finally, on a completely different note...
Why did it have to be one of the several females in my past or present life that push the Kinsey needle closer to bisexual rather than completely gay? I know that it would become a "brokeback" relationship, so I could not put her or myself through the pain, but she is... she has... well it is sort of indescribable. It is like I have affection for her, but not a sexual attraction. Honestly, there was a part of me that enjoyed holding her, that enjoyed the emotional attachment.