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Times when you hate being gay

M

mrdude

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I know, odd title, but there are times where I think why and just makes things so awkward.

For instance, I attend a social tennis group with a coach. Of course the coach happens to be my type of man. Anyway, at this session he was wearing track-pants and had a quite revealing bulge. So it was hard to not keep glancing over, and playing tennis at the same time if you know what I mean! Way makes things even awkward was he was touching my hands to show me a good grip. All the advice went by me as all I could think of was the contact and that bulge right there.

Seriously, being gay and this happening is a big tease and I hate it #-o

Have there been times where you thought you'd not want to be gay at a specific moment?
 
mrdude said:
I know, odd title, but there are times where I think why and just makes things so awkward.

For instance, I attend a social tennis group with a coach. Of course the coach happens to be my type of man. Anyway, at this session he was wearing track-pants and had a quite revealing bulge. So it was hard to not keep glancing over, and playing tennis at the same time if you know what I mean! Way makes things even awkward was he was touching my hands to show me a good grip. All the advice went by me as all I could think of was the contact and that bulge right there.

Seriously, being gay and this happening is a big tease and I hate it #-o

Have there been times where you thought you'd not want to be gay at a specific moment?
Click to expand...

Wouldn't that happen if you were straight and the instructor were a woman?

But I understand the point of your thread.
 
In all seriousness (maybe this thread wasn't intended for this kinda stuff ;) )
Whereas I've come leaps and bounds about "dreading being gay", I still have it from time to time
when I see eg. my sister with her husband and little baby.
I know, I know, gey people can adopt. But (with all due respect) it is not the same as having a biological
child with your partner.
Of course, I realise a lot of non-gay people (singles, infertile people, ...) might have the same feelings.
Voilà, just being hounest. That's a moment I sometimes 'hate being gay'.
 
mrdude said:
Have there been times where you thought you'd not want to be gay at a specific moment?
Click to expand...

Not anymore. As you become more comfortable with your sexuality, embarrassing stuff will still happen, but you'll mind it a lot less.
 
Times when I hate being gay? Zero, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to find people to actually get a connection! And the community can be sickening too in terms of the racism and the hate and the judgmental bitches! However I still love my fellow gays and lesbians and bis and trans!
 
wikke1 said:
In all seriousness (maybe this thread wasn't intended for this kinda stuff ;) )
Whereas I've come leaps and bounds about "dreading being gay", I still have it from time to time
when I see eg. my sister with her husband and little baby.
I know, I know, gey people can adopt. But (with all due respect) it is not the same as having a biological
child with your partner.
Of course, I realise a lot of non-gay people (singles, infertile people, ...) might have the same feelings.
Voilà, just being hounest. That's a moment I sometimes 'hate being gay'.
Click to expand...

If you're so hellbent on having one of your own, there is always surrogacy.
 
yes, not because i'm scared of social stereotypes, but it's so frustrating trying to meet gay people and even harder to meet genuine ones. relationship-wise, to me, most gays seem to either settle for anyone, sleep around or have ridiculously high standards. i feel like if i were straight, life would be so much easier in a lot of aspects but i'm not bitter because i don't find anything wrong with being gay.
 
slowshow said:
yes, not because i'm scared of social stereotypes, but it's so frustrating trying to meet gay people and even harder to meet genuine ones. relationship-wise, to me, most gays seem to either settle for anyone, sleep around or have ridiculously high standards. i feel like if i were straight, life would be so much easier in a lot of aspects but i'm not bitter because i don't find anything wrong with being gay.
Click to expand...

Cynicism about gay stereotypes aside, straight people have a LOT of trouble too. It's just different type of trouble.
 
Rolyo85 said:
If you're so hellbent on having one of your own, there is always surrogacy.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't consider myself "hellbent". If ever I have a partner, we will probably decide together on what to do. I'm not against adoption, or having a meaningful life without children.
Just saying that when I see how smoothly things are going for my sister and her family, I'm a little jealous.
Maybe it has little to do with being gay, I don't know.
 
I used to wish I wasn't gay at all... then I sorta learned to accept it, but I still tried to hide it... I even dated a girl!
I gave up trying to be straight, but I was still deep in the closet for a while... but now I'm very comfortable with who I am. There hasn't been a time I wish I wasn't gay, just times when I wish other people were more open minded.

I owe it all to a very special person... otherwise I'd still be alone in the closet, too scared to come out... or at least, it would have taken me a lot longer to come out.
 
I honestly don't believe a lot of guys here. There has to be moments when all gays wish they were straight, whether it meant taking to their families if estranged, bring able to marry whoever they wanted, having kids the easy way, not having people automatically hate you.

You aren't kidding anyone if you say that you enjoy being gay 100% if the time, and that being gay isn't a struggle. There isn't anything wrong with being gay, but the world does a good job of making it seem that way.
 
dragon08 said:
I honestly don't believe a lot of guys here. There has to be moments when all gays wish they were straight, whether it meant taking to their families if estranged, bring able to marry whoever they wanted, having kids the easy way, not having people automatically hate you.

You aren't kidding anyone if you say that you enjoy being gay 100% if the time, and that being gay isn't a struggle. There isn't anything wrong with being gay, but the world does a good job of making it seem that way.
Click to expand...

I am sorry that your experiences in life have made you incapable of believing that someone could be 100% happy with being gay. Sure, we have all struggled in the process of coming to terms with who we are. But I can safely say that ever since coming out 4 years ago, I have not for a second wished I was straight, and I feel nothing but joy for being gay. Take it or leave it.
 
dragon08 said:
I honestly don't believe a lot of guys here. There has to be moments when all gays wish they were straight, whether it meant taking to their families if estranged, bring able to marry whoever they wanted, having kids the easy way, not having people automatically hate you.

You aren't kidding anyone if you say that you enjoy being gay 100% if the time, and that being gay isn't a struggle. There isn't anything wrong with being gay, but the world does a good job of making it seem that way.
Click to expand...

I hope as you get older, your perception of this will change. When we're all young, we do wonder how much easier it would be to be straight. However, I'm 100% happy being gay in my life. The job, city, home, experiences, and friends I have are directly attributed to my sexuality and what direction it has taken my life.

@OP
You should never hate being yourself just because there's a guy you can't have sex with. If you were a straight woman, you probably couldn't have him still. He might be married, or maybe you're just not his kind of woman.
 
Not being gay, per se, but I hated all the limitations -- When it was becoming clear to me that I was definitely gay, I was involved with a fifty year old while I was still early twenties, and I hated I couldn't involve him in my other activities with my other straight twenty-something buds. So, in that instance the double whammy of age and sexual orientation. And of course, where I couldn't express what I was feeling about a straight friend to other straight friends, and so on.
With time, I've learned to be accepting of everyone as they are, and the situations we all find ourselves in.
At the same time, I am amazed I never underwent any angst about being gay.
 
Nick4444 said:
Not being gay, per se, but I hated all the limitations -- When it was becoming clear to me that I was definitely gay, I was involved with a fifty year old while I was still early twenties, and I hated I couldn't involve him in my other activities with my other straight twenty-something buds. So, in that instance the double whammy of age and sexual orientation. And of course, where I couldn't express what I was feeling about a straight friend to other straight friends, and so on.
With time, I've learned to be accepting of everyone as they are, and the situations we all find ourselves in.
At the same time, I am amazed I never underwent any angst about being gay.
Click to expand...

Your friends would have been cool hanging with a 50-year old woman?

I have had times when I didn't like being gay, especially when I was in high school, but as I've gotten older, the benefits have balanced out the negatives.
 
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