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Tired of being a sex buddy

T

Tima_Angel

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Hey everyone, for a couple of months now I've been on a pretty much regular basis been having a relationship with a friend of mine (about once every two weeks or so). Now I'm bi, and he's straight (usually:D ) but I've been wanting more out of this relationship. It's gotten pretty weird lately. Sometimes we'll go out and get some girls and we when we get home (or if I stay at his house or something) we'll end up having sex if we didn't snag anyone that night. Now this is ok I guess, but the relationship is so onesided and I'm sick of it.
Sometimes I'll be at work or out with some friends and he'll call me for a good fuck, and if I say no he'll get mad and hang up and won't talk to me for a couple of days. Now I never call him so you can see where this is going. Then, he's very selfish in bed. Maybe because he's inclined towards women he usually doesn't feel like.....returnin the favor. Sometimes when he's all passed out from a good 20 or so minutes of just his pleasure he'll just fall to sleep and leave me high and dry. And that's never cool. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sick of just being a sex toy for him. Who knows? Am I right to feel this way? Has this happened to anyone else? I think I want to just talk to him and stop it, but we've been friends for a long time. Anyway, some help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
- T.A.
 
This is just my opinion but this guy is obviously using you. All he cares about, as you state in your post, is about getting his rocks off and it's him that's making the "booty calls". I'd put a quick end to the sex part of the relationsihp. If he can't deal with it, then I think it's common sense as to where this is going to go. In a nutshell, this could be the end of a friendship. However, I don't think you should let him keep using you in this way. Of course, it's your choice in the end. I wish you the best.
 
I never got the whole sleeping with a straight guy thing? What did you think it would be like? I always had to much pride to fawn over some straight guy especially when there are a ton of hot gay guys out there! You want someone to suck your dick than find a gay guy! What has always turned me on the most was guys wanting me or flirting with me. I guess I rather have the control and not be all wimpy and begging or seducing some guy that likes pussy! Gay guys have dicks to! And if it's the "straight" acting thing you want than there are butch gays out there. I have been with guys who were butcher and more manly than any straight guys I have been friends with. Forgot about him. At least your not in love so you do have some self respect.
 
Hes using you!

Fuck him... I didn't actually mean that, but you know what I mean.
 
It does sound like he is being very selfish and a big baby at the same time . If you value his friendship I would cut out the sex and keep him as a friend, if not just get rid of him all together.
 
Maybe you guys are right. I think I'll talk to him and tell him that I want to stay friends, but just friends. Yeah....I think that'll be good. Thanks for the help guys!
 
I also think you need to drop the sex but the way he is acting you may loose him as a friend...best of luck
 
Tima_ Angel,

I can't believe people on here get into situations like yours ... get rid of this guy already!! You're being used, and do you really wanna keep this guy as a friend after you say NO to coninued fuck sessions - I highly doubt he's gonna wanna embrace a friendship with you after you stop it. If he can't use you for sex he'll just find another way to use you.

And if I have not said it enough here: Straight boys NEVER play with other boys .. and *surprise* your boy is NOT!
 
Just keep telling him no. He'll get the idea eventually.
 
I personnallly do not think that just saying no is good enough. You say you have been friends with this guy for a long time. Obviously your good friends? I gree with all the other Jubbers here...I would tell him to take a hike in the sex area. If you both want to remain friends than do so, but I have a feeling this will be a one sided "affair" in the just friends catagory also!
 
Hi Tima,

Of course you are right to feel this way. Any relationship, str8, bi or gay where one partner doesnt feel they are being treated as an equal is a bad relationship and an unfair one.

You deserve to have your needs meet mate...both physically and emotionally. You are right to want more than to be used and then discarded. You are worth far more than being someones on call sex toy.

Tima...this is about respect...especially for yourself. It doesnt matter how this situation infolded, its now about you understanding that it doesnt fulfill your needs and desires. You need to stand strong here and say to this guy...you do not respect me. He's a selfish lover and a childish one too. But more than that he has no interest in anything more than using you to satisfy his short term needs. There is no future in this for you...although I think you know that already.

Tima...you have morals and values. You have dreams and desires. You have wants and needs. They are all perfectly valid and normals things...and you are right to pursue them. You have a right to feel satisfied and complete when you are with a partner. You are right to want to feel love and compassion when you share yourself completely with someone.

You are worth more than being a sex buddy as you put it... and a used and abused one at that.

Tell this guy its over and start the search for someone who completes and compliments you. Someone who sees the real you...the valuable compassionate caring guy you are. Learn from this mate - find a guy who cares for you the way you care for him.

Dont settle Tima...you dont need to, you dont deserve to.
 
Beign a sex buddy doesn't mean catering to someone else's sexual needs. It means entering into a relationship where both parties want to have sex and fulfillt heir own/each other's sexual needs mutually.

So of course you're entitled ot be pissed off. You entered this expecting to be sexual gratified as you gratified him and it's not happening. And since it isn't, you don't want to do it. So don't. Find another fuck buddy or get into a romantic, emotional, and physical relationship where your partner is inclined ot care about your sexual needs.
 
luminum said:
Beign a sex buddy doesn't mean catering to someone else's sexual needs. It means entering into a relationship where both parties want to have sex and fulfillt heir own/each other's sexual needs mutually.

So of course you're entitled ot be pissed off. You entered this expecting to be sexual gratified as you gratified him and it's not happening. And since it isn't, you don't want to do it. So don't. Find another fuck buddy or get into a romantic, emotional, and physical relationship where your partner is inclined ot care about your sexual needs.
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I could not have said it better myself.

Besides, you say, you have been friends for a while now and all.

Tell him in unmistakable terms: Dude, this may work for you, but it ain't working for me. So, this is what I want..., or we stop shaggin' altogether and find our bedmates somewhere else.

It happens pretty often that people assume that you enjoy the things because you agree to do them over and over again. See, he tried leaving you to hang out high and dry. You did not say anything and agreed to do it over and over again. Your repeated behavior reinforced his attitude. He concluded: You really only care about satisfying your man and that's why you are coming back for more. He does not have to do anything about it anyway.

So, yeah, talk with him and either have him change his ways or move on.

SC
 
You guys are right. If he values our friendship, then it won't matter to him if we just stay friends. I thank you all very much, I'm going to talk to him soon. Thanks again.
 
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