tired...

[racer2438]

so what are you saying, you want to come out and not hide from everyone??

you can only do that when you are ready inside and out..when your happy and all the pressure if off your shoulders will it be easier..

 

[Telstra]

... I am so tired... tired of that mask... mask as in 'put your brave/happy/smiley face on'... I've been puttin it on for so long now... for my family... my friends... friends of my friends... random people on the street I do not even know... I so wanted to be liked that I completely lost myself along the way... and what did my forced smile gain me... a couple of scars and a bunch of superficial acquaintances... people who do not really know me... people I can't even call friends... friends are supposed to know each other... but how could they know me.... they only know the mask... and yet, no matter how bad I want to, I can not seem to take it off and finally let somebody in... to see me...

edit: sorry for creating such pointless a thread... please, do feel free to ignore this rant... I just needed to vent tonite

Why do you forced smile?
You don't have to. You can cry and shout out if you want to. It is all natural.

 

[Telstra]

I do not know...
maybe because I feel like I owe it to those around me, especially my family since they've been nothing but supportive
maybe because no one wants to be around a pathetic guy
or maybe my mask has finally become me

ummm do you forced smile where people can tell that your smile is fake ?

 

[Telstra]

it's not like I plaster a grin in any situation... more like meeting the expectation of being that cheerful sunny boy, everybody 'knows'

oh i see, you are the cheerful loud fun type.

Maybe find the quiet and shy type of people the direct opposite of you.
So you can help the shy type, learn from you how to be cheerful.
And you can be as grumpy as you want in front of the shy type.

* the shy type is very naughty when there is no ones watching.

 

[Telstra]

I am afraid you kinda missed the point, Telstra. but anyway... I want to thank you for taking up an interest
now if you'll excuse me, I have the ceiling to stare at

ok
I'm chatting, so some experts might see this thread and make some comments about your condition.

 

[sixthson]

Hi Einrut. Some of us wear masks, some put up walls. In either case, it's about not letting others in. It's about fear of rejection, fear that if someone knows the real you, they won't like you. It could be lots of other things, too, but being vulnerable enough to let others see us, warts and all, is too painful for us. When you stop pretending that you can be what everyone else wants you to be and even stop kidding yourself that you have it all together, you begin to let down your guard with others and you will find yourself maskless, slowly but surely. Stop trying to pay some debt to those who have been so supportive of you. The only thing you owe them is to be yourself. I have the suspicion they will love the guy behind the mask.

 

[racer2438]

Read my signiture below, this motto is what I live by.... and it works!!!!!