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To Be Gay or Not, that is the question

maxpowr9 said:
If there is one piece of advice I could offer it is this: A real friend will always accept you regardless of your "flaws".
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If by flaws your referring to being gay then you are right. I have a good feeling I will be close with the people I call friend now once I come out. I just hope being gay doesn't change their perception of me because I'm still the exact same person, just gay.

Today kinda felt like either a sign to come out or just learn to accept me sexuality. Since the nigh before I have been watching a movie or show and someone is coming out the closet lol. Oh the irony, but it's a good feeling seeing the positive side of coming out.

To be honest, the people whom I call friends accepted me for who I was, despite having to lie about being "straight" cause I know at this point of my life, I am not into girls....at all. I feel bad lying to them and I don't feel good about myself doing that...
 
Dude, stop torturing youself! You've been lying for a good reason, no need to beat yourself up about it. They won't be mad at you; they'll just start to understand why you haven't been banging many chicks recently.

When I came out to my best friend a LOOONG time ago, (Fresman year in HS, I think), I was terrified. It was the scariest thing I had ever done. Conversation went like this:

"E: (after awkwardly pausing movie) Hey dude...would...you think of me any differently if I....liked guys?

B: ...Nope. Not at all.

E: Ok.....cause I like guys."

That's all it takes. You don't have to say gay, but you certainly can. You just need to tell one person. One person that you trust above all others to love you unconditionally. Someone who'll feel honored that you came out to them first.

And you can totally just drop in on an LGBT or GSA meeting. Straight people are definitely allowed, and you don't have to come out to anyone there if you don't want to. And if people question your orientation after that? That will just make coming out to them less of a shock.
 
FrEaKyFrEaK said:
Dude, stop torturing youself! You've been lying for a good reason, no need to beat yourself up about it. They won't be mad at you; they'll just start to understand why you haven't been banging many chicks recently.

When I came out to my best friend a LOOONG time ago, (Fresman year in HS, I think), I was terrified. It was the scariest thing I had ever done. Conversation went like this:

"E: (after awkwardly pausing movie) Hey dude...would...you think of me any differently if I....liked guys?

B: ...Nope. Not at all.

E: Ok.....cause I like guys."

That's all it takes. You don't have to say gay, but you certainly can. You just need to tell one person. One person that you trust above all others to love you unconditionally. Someone who'll feel honored that you came out to them first.

And you can totally just drop in on an LGBT or GSA meeting. Straight people are definitely allowed, and you don't have to come out to anyone there if you don't want to. And if people question your orientation after that? That will just make coming out to them less of a shock.
Click to expand...

I agree. Thankfully I do have a good handful of close friends whom I can tell and wouldn't judge me.
 
Somehow, many of us have the feeling that if we can name something we have in a sense domesticated it to our use. Think what problems this can cause.

I am an older guy (some would simply say I am old) but I have a veryhappy journey into the fullness of my sexuality to remember and I doubt if that would have been the case if I had called myself gay when I bonded with the new guy in town and we became more than just friends. The day came when we both wanted and needed to express our affection for each other sexually. We had a wonderful session of sexual communion in which we in a sense inititiated each other into the ranks of the world's cocksuckers in the 69 mode in the comfort of the zone of privacy that would become our refuge from the morality snoops who would have had a fiend day letting our whole town know what we did that day.

Actually, my partner and I never stopped thinking of ourselves as regular guys. The important reality for us that day was the love that we had for each other nd the sex was a wonderful way of expressing that love. We would be sexual partners for the rest of our days in high school.

OUr relationship was a closely guarded secret and I doubt that many folks seriously noted that the two of us spent very little time courting the girls in our town. My partner was on his grandpaents" ranch in Montana the next summer and we had a bit of expectation that we might pay more attention to the girls. And, yes, I was delighted when my best friend home from college seemed to take note of me as a sexual being. At the end of the summer of 1940 I had experienced both sides of my sexuality and I knew that one day I would settle down in marriage. However, my lady friend returned to college and my boy friend returned from Montana and we resumed learning all w could by doing m2m sex throughout our senior year.

I married in 1952 but I was seldom without a partner in sex. Three males and two females contributed greatly to my happy journey. My family met all of my friends and if they had questions about the nature of those friendships they were polite and never probed. I was wise and never told.

I have never "come out" and I really think ambi sexual is a better term for my orientation. I know that I can be happy and effective in a relationship with a man or a woman. I have not sucked a cock since 1951 (it happens that my partner for 58 years does not have a cock). Do I miss m2m sex? You bet I do. But I have long ago concluded that while I was free to choose I also concluded that having made my choice I am bound to keeping the promises associated with my choice.

The world is entitled to all they can see and that is all. I do not probe the sexual orienttion of others. I live my life openly and everyone is free to judge me accordingly.
 
Recently my Mom has made comments about having a wife and kids and I just keep feeling guilty hearing that knowing I won't have any of that; especially not with a woman.

I feel forced to just scream, "I'm gay", but I'm not ready to do that. Just annoying and I'm sure I will get more comments like that from others...
 
I am 39 years old and happilly bisexual. My g/friend knows about this and encourages it in our open relationship. I have enjoyed men and woman with gusto for over twenty years!
Just have fun!
 
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