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Tonight, tonight

youfiad said:
You don't have to be drunk to tell him you want to take your relationship the next level.. If you know that he is willing, go for it! Sometimes relationships change after your first sexual encounter, so it would probably answer a few of your other questions.
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well i certainly dont. he may not either, but its when he gets drinking that it starts up with me. im just trying to make this become a reality in a way thats more comfortable than awkward or forced.

this weekend is probably lost too, because naturally, he got called in to work for the next few days. ](*,) we both laughed about it, (another hint perhaps) since it seems like every time we might have that right time, something or someone shows up to get in the way.

but that doesnt change the fact, that i want to make something change this weekend when we do get together. one way or another.
 
It' not hard to put aside about a half hour during a weekend even if he works. If I wanted to do something with a guy, I would invent time itself in order to make sure it became a reality.. Tell him to stop making excuses and commit. Maybe he's just being timid, or he's maybe even scared.
 
youfiad said:
It' not hard to put aside about a half hour during a weekend even if he works. If I wanted to do something with a guy, I would invent time itself in order to make sure it became a reality.. Tell him to stop making excuses and commit. Maybe he's just being timid, or he's maybe even scared.
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oh he is scared no doubt. im older by a few years and more self confident for sure. his insecurity is partly why i dont think the sober move will work. he is too on and off. wrong time = fail. then again, i dont know how long i can hold out anymore either. i need something one way or the other.

problem is, i make the effort to get it to just be us alone, and he keeps screwing that up. is he scared? over it? not ready yet? i just cant tell. but every time i start to try and shut down my feelings for him, he does something to keep me on the line. its truly maddening.

i regret not going for the kill that night when the truth came out. that was my golden chance. we were alone for at least that moment. couldve gone for at least a kiss, but chose to play it safe being that we were sorta in a public place.

we will be living together soon. i feel like we need a resolution before then.
 
Umm yeah. I think that moving in with him could lead to some problems in the future if things become even more complicated. You should just talk to him straight up..
 
UPDATE:

we moved in together. the tension only got worse. but after months of nothing happening, i finally brought a chick home. he followed up by doing the same the next weekend. in what was most likely a poorly timed moment, i said fuck it and went for the kill. he shut me down. i moved out the next week and we havent spoken since.

it never got ugly, we agreed on a story to tell our friends on why i left. but i dunno if he stuck by that. i moved outta town and have only spoken to our mutual friends down there a handful of times. i dont wanna know what he is up to or what they think happened. the reality is that now im stuck all by my confused self. sadly i cant figure out how to move on, be it guy or girl because i only want the one person that no longer is in my life. its a shitty place to be. the day i moved out had a weirdness to it, but its moot to post about it. ill probably never know what it was all about. all i know is that i tried to fix things or make it better and he just wanted me gone. oh well, at least i wont have to live any longer with the wonder of what if, but thats little consolation to me right now.
 
Well, good luck finding someone who's definitely into you with no confusion or worries man.
 
Well, I'm pretty sure you're right and that your feelings were mutual and that he wanted (or still wants) you. He's scared of course. Just give it some time. He probably needs to think about his feelings since I'm guessing he's always identified as being with women only. Just go your separate ways, then if the feelings still lingers, see if he comes to you first... maybe he wanted you after all. And if you know that he wants you and is scared to come forth, then just go for it once and for all.

You must really like him since you were prepared to go through all this confusion. I hope it turns out alright for you :D
 
You're a step ahead from where I am. I recently came out to my best friend and then made a move on him - partly because we were drunk, partly because I wanted him (only really because I'm comfortable with him), but mostly because it was a relief. He was okay with it but we didn't go any further than talking about me blowing him. I think he would experiment with a discreet guy, however, I think that if it were me, it would change our friendship irrepairably. If anything happens from now on, it has to be instigated by him (needless to say I'd be up for it!). I'm guessing it is the same for you now. Just have to hope there is better around the corner, no matter how you feel now.
 
Jupiter1976 said:
You're a step ahead from where I am. I recently came out to my best friend and then made a move on him - partly because we were drunk, partly because I wanted him (only really because I'm comfortable with him), but mostly because it was a relief. He was okay with it but we didn't go any further than talking about me blowing him. I think he would experiment with a discreet guy, however, I think that if it were me, it would change our friendship irrepairably. If anything happens from now on, it has to be instigated by him (needless to say I'd be up for it!). I'm guessing it is the same for you now. Just have to hope there is better around the corner, no matter how you feel now.
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yep. i feel the same way ultimately. but im conflicted on whether or not to reach out to him at this point. i left the ball in his court, i dont think he hates me, but i also realize he doesnt have the stones to call me and forgive it even if he wanted to. and like my situation, at some point he will find someone to get this thing worked out with. he just cant do it now. not with his family and work. he enjoyed flirting at the gate, just didnt wanna cross through.
 
another update:

tonight, i found out he told all our friends over there that i put the moves on him. i dont want to believe it, but he really threw me under the bus. in an ironic twist, no one believed him and my friends from college who found out over here had my back on it too.

regardless, i took a big step in coming clean tonight. i told my mom. she was 110% supportive but 110% taken aback by the news. ive talked with a few close friends about my confusion already, but im coming on out with it from here on out. gonna be weird since no one has any clue or whatever. i know enough to know this is my destiny. so wish me luck. this aint easy, but im ready to get through this.

first step tomorrow is to go find him face to face and let him know im not hiding anymore and that i dont hate him for telling everyone. and then move on to whatever the future holds..
 
I know it's not something you strive for, but you need to able to handle the situation even if the relationship doesn't last.
 
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