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G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
When you say "it doesn't quite happen", I'm assuming you mean you don't reach orgasm. And since you "just started", I'm further assuming you've only tried it a couple of times. Right?
If that's the case, then I'd say it "means" nothing at all. Anal sex is new and unusual to you, and you haven't quite figured it out. Forget what your dick thinks - what did YOU think? Did you enjoy it? If so, and your partner did too, then keep at it.
If you didn't enjoy it, it might mean you'd enjoy bottoming more. Or it might mean you're just not into anal. Lots of gay guys aren't. They just stick with manual and oral. Or it might mean you just weren't really "in the mood" for topping right then.
So what to do? Everything.
Keep at it. Try this and that. Find out what your really do like.
Lex
If that's the case, then I'd say it "means" nothing at all. Anal sex is new and unusual to you, and you haven't quite figured it out. Forget what your dick thinks - what did YOU think? Did you enjoy it? If so, and your partner did too, then keep at it.
If you didn't enjoy it, it might mean you'd enjoy bottoming more. Or it might mean you're just not into anal. Lots of gay guys aren't. They just stick with manual and oral. Or it might mean you just weren't really "in the mood" for topping right then.
So what to do? Everything.
Keep at it. Try this and that. Find out what your really do like. Lex
operafan
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All I know is that when I started bottoming it hurt like hell. And for a long time we took turns, but as it happens, I like being the bottom just fine and has become my preferred location.
All I'm saying is that it doesn't all necessarily fall into place right away.
All I'm saying is that it doesn't all necessarily fall into place right away.
Nope... it means you've just started having anal sex.
And it means you are still learning about who you are and what you like. It also means that you're figuring out that sometimes that things dont always go like we think they will...
Reader... you dont have to be either... you dont have to be one or the other. Your confidence will grow and your role/s will become clearer as you have more experiences... beleive it or not it is like riding a bike... it takes some practice and patience and maybe even the odd skinned knee to find out whether or not you are good at it or even if you like it....
Dont read too much into things or put too much pressure on yourself... just relax lose yourself in the moment... your body will tell you what it wants...
Since you just started, it may just mean that you are finding what sexual acts and positions please you. Don't try to put yourself in any category. I've known guys who said they only liked one thing but after I had perhaps done something a little better than the last person -- they find that they really enjoy it (oral comes to mind).
When I came out a little over two years ago, I said I was a total top. It was based on one bad bottom experience I had when I was 18. However, one night a guy was rimming me and then started to finger me. He was hitting on my prostate so much with his finger (and I swear his tongue) that I blurted out, "fuck me!" I was a little embarrassed and he smiled and said, "I thought you were a top?"
Well, I found that when the person does it the right way, I love to bottom as well as top. Actually, I probably am 50-50 right now; the best is to flip.
If you find that you go soft when you try to top, it may be "performance anxiety" as I call it. Sometimes when I get so worked up and am so hot to get it in, the anxiety and stress happens to kill the member! Dont' worry-- hapens to everyone. But take your time, find out what you enjoy and how you enjoy, and then communicate that to your partner. If he does the same -- you'll have blistering hot sex!
When I came out a little over two years ago, I said I was a total top. It was based on one bad bottom experience I had when I was 18. However, one night a guy was rimming me and then started to finger me. He was hitting on my prostate so much with his finger (and I swear his tongue) that I blurted out, "fuck me!" I was a little embarrassed and he smiled and said, "I thought you were a top?"
Well, I found that when the person does it the right way, I love to bottom as well as top. Actually, I probably am 50-50 right now; the best is to flip.
If you find that you go soft when you try to top, it may be "performance anxiety" as I call it. Sometimes when I get so worked up and am so hot to get it in, the anxiety and stress happens to kill the member! Dont' worry-- hapens to everyone. But take your time, find out what you enjoy and how you enjoy, and then communicate that to your partner. If he does the same -- you'll have blistering hot sex!
Having been married for many years I was exclusively a top but over a period of time as an out gay man I have learned to prefer being a bottom. I enjoy all the physical sensations (though I have had to learn to do this) and now that I can relax the spiritual and emotional buzz of having another man in me is something I now know is what I was always looking for. But that's me. Everybody is different.
One day, maybe this year, my partner and I will be ready for me to top him, we haven't managed it so far. I expect tears of joy when we do, sharing both 'ends' of the spectrum. And I recognise that having a regular partner is helpful in all of this because it helps to relax and learn and most importantly enjoy.
Take care.
One day, maybe this year, my partner and I will be ready for me to top him, we haven't managed it so far. I expect tears of joy when we do, sharing both 'ends' of the spectrum. And I recognise that having a regular partner is helpful in all of this because it helps to relax and learn and most importantly enjoy.
Take care.
