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Totally Teased by the Straight Guy!

you know honestly all my straight guy friends are affectionate with me. and have been naked around me. they know i am gay. i sit in their laps. we talk dirty with each other and flirt. hell we have even showered together. slept in the same beds. but, i don't know. we are all very warm, touchy feely, affectionate people. and we are all totally comfortable with each other. i mean. even my girlfriends are the same way. we are all that way with each other. just a big love fest going on.

now, i won't say that nothing sexual has ever went down. but, it never was a big deal. and never was anything that was dwelled upon. i prefer my friends to stay my friends. and to find my real lovers elsewhere.

if you want something sexual to happen between you guys. i have a feeling it is possible. but, you have to be willing to put a friendship on the line. and to be able to seperate sex from love. or the two different types of love. i have a feeling he would still be the same with you as long as you acted no differently and didn't try to pursue any thing further than relieving horniness.
 
and i don't recommend a threesome. because i have a feeling someone would get jealous. if you weren't all three friends. it may work. but when there is a level of closeness between all three of you, problems will arise. and i think you would end up getting hurt most in the end.
 
How can you sleep so close to him and not have your hand in or near his crotch? Just put your hand on it and let him wake up with his boner in your hand (outside of his underwear for now). Then he will really know you are comfortable.
 
Wanderer,

If you are as Cute as you say you are and if you are as Cute & Sexy as your friends tend to think you are, then WHY are you still single and CLINGING to another Happy-Couple?

You're 27yrs old and your closest Bud has a woman and it's been Months and you're still waiting for him to throw you a bone here and there?

At this point..I'm not concerned about your Buddy and his girlfriend...I'm concerned about your mental-state...You have an Intense-attraction to a Man that has not taken your attraction to him seriously since day one..

These trips that the 3 of you take together...Are you paying for them? Do you pay for the dinners and the drinks?

There's something that you supply in the triangle that allows your presense to be a 'comfort' factor for your Buddy and his girl. Either you're the 3rd wheel dishing out your own cash to them or you're with them for other reasons that you have yet to disclose.

It is so OBVIOUS you are in love with the guy and it is so OBVIOUS he's in Love with his girlfriend. Your Buddy could spend the rest of his LIFE hanging with you and kissing you on the neck in front of the woman he makes Love to every night.

The question is are you strong enough to start dating people outside your circle of friends and find the person that is meant for you? Are you able to make yourself your #1 Priority and focus on building your own relationship(s) and not depend on another couple to define you?

You are NOT a 3rd wheel. You are NOT any couples 3rd Wheel. But you've played that part for MONTHS...It's time to STOP...But I wonder if you have the mind-set to realize what you've done to yourself..


i really like the advise you have given me here. and i wanted to give you any extra info you were interested in. as far as cash goes, i pay nothing for them, just myself. it has always been that way. i think you are right on many points here. i do find myself in love with him, and i know he is with the girl, and i really dont think he is going to choose me over her, in fact, not only do i think that is very var fetched, but i wouldnt want that. in fact it was me that put them together again after they broke up. i guess my love for him comes as a very close friend and want to continue to grow with him. i desire the contact he gives me, and i want more. i will likely get it, but im not looking for too much more, as he is in a relationship, and i would only feel comfortable getting it if it was not cheating on somebody else. he is a very good guy. and i believe him to care for me, so that makes me happy. recently i have been thinking about the very same points you make. i am just so puzzled as to why i got all of this attention from a guy ( i have left out some other updates) and this kind of attention makes me wonder what is going on in his mind about me. he is not into a whole lot of porn, and the first time he ever brought it up was to show me a website called meatspin dot com. i was a little shocked, and it was just one more thing that added to my curiousity of what is going on between us. i dont know, and i wonder if anybody else does or had a similar experience with a guy like this.

and i do diserve better like you say, i have been "shopping around" to put it a bad way. LOL

more comments are most welcome about this entire story.

thanks everyone for your interest and support.
 
I haven't read all the messages, so not sure if this was brought up already. Does he know you're gay? If not, why not tell him and see if he still wants to hang out with you or considers you his 'friend'? If he's really straight and he knows you're gay, he wouldn't probably get naked and display himself to you, right? Real straight men just don't do that. Also, it's kinda strange that you hang out with him and his girlfriend, and according to you he spends more time with you even when he's with his girl. It's possible that he's just being friendly, too friendly perhaps, but based on your story, the whole 'hanging out' thing is just weird when he has a girlfriend.

Just be careful not to set up yourself get rejected and hurt in the end. For him, this (hanging out) may not be a big deal and it's just probably about friendship; but the way you describe the situation it looks like you might be falling in love with him.

To answer your questions, I don't think he's trying to tell you anything. (I think you've convinced yourself that he's trying to tell you something.) What I'd probably do is keep the friendship if I think he's really a true friend, but I would definitely not hang out with him when he's with his girlfriend. Now if he's a real friend, I won't do anything that would compromise the friendship. If you know what I mean...
 
He's just playing with you belive me, I'm straight and I've done it alot doesn't mean I want something with the guy I just kid around especially if I know they are into me
 
Whether they're straight and kissing you, showing affection, fondling you, accepting naked massages, rubbing you, talking dirty etc, etc it's all total bollocks... If you think about it logically and from the perspective of a straight person then the kind of behaviour you're witnessing from these supposed "straight" men is totally unacceptable.

You know those women who flirt with men so they get drinks bought for them all night at a club and then leave the men high and dry and move on to the next??? I think the technical term is "cock-tease" well that's what all of these straight men are doing and they know it.

Sure they're comfortable being stupid with you and playing to your gay/bi nature but they're also being unfair and the only way to deal with them is to take the direct approach and make a move on them. OK so they might flip out or they might surprise you and end up having sex with you, but know this ...

If you don't do it they'll just string you along loving the attention that you're paying them and while you're busy wasting your life chasing after them they enjoy their private time with their wives/G.F's and ultimately don't give a crap about your love life or your feelings towards them.
 
What I don't understand is why you just can't be honest with him and her and let them know you're gay/bi?? If they love you so much what do you think will really change? You're too real a guy to not be honest. I found out that when I finally came out to my straight friends they all got closer to me and one of them actually got me through my first "gay" time -even though he is and remains very, very straight. Just be honest.
 
He's just playing with you belive me, I'm straight and I've done it alot doesn't mean I want something with the guy I just kid around especially if I know they are into me
ok, im a good guy so i will humor you on this one. would you be willing to answer a few questions for me then?

i know its a long thread, so i cant expect people to read the whole thing before the write a reply, be he does not think i like him in that way, i am just very nice. i pretty much just play along with whatever he is doing. so i will ask under the assumption that you are "straight" and say what would make you think a guy is into you, and what makes you comfortable doing things with them. like i wrote in my case, he doesnt think i like him like that, yet he still spooned me in bed for a while. now when you go "kidding around" do you do that, and for how long, and in your opinion how long is too long before it is no longer a joke and some other desire??

what things do you do, and for what purpose? and how do you know they are into you. what are the obvious signs you pick up on?

i look forward to hearing your input on this. and one quesiton that is probably on everybody's minds, is why would a straight guy be interested in being a JuB member? what do you get out of it, what do you enjoy? that kind of thing, and have you done anything with a guy, if not, why not, and would you ever?

thanks buddy.
 
^Yeah, I'm interested in the response to this one too.

Where's that popcorn smiley?

-d-
 
Wow almost 11,000 pages and only 2 pgs so far?

Anyway, I lurked for a while, but for some reason this thread made me want to join. It really excited me to read about a level of deep intimacy between two heteroflexible buddies. It sounds like you have a really close and unique bond with one another. If only more straight guys had such close relationships with one another the world would be a better place. Seriously. This story is such a turn on. The fact that your friend shows such a level of comfort with you around his girlfriend is really interesting. That means he isnt threatened by you and probably sees you as his equal...

To be honest the way things are developing it sounds like you'll be sharing a long kiss goodnight with this guy in no time. The things you are describing I've honestly never heard of another straight guy do to another guy. Either hes really secure and confident with his sexuality or he is genuinally into you. It's also possible that he treats you differently because he looks at you in another light than his other male friends. He feels as though he can confide in you, share intimate moments with you, and discuss topics with you that transcend shallow discussions he's had with other stereotypical hetero males. You're a breath of fresh air from the typical guy, and he sense that vibe with you; like attracts like.

In regards to the opening up about your sexuality part I dont know if its necessary as of yet. I would let things play out as they are naturally now. And I think if anyone would make the first move it will be him, as he seems to be the agressor in this situation. Furthermore, the fact that you had a neutral reaction to his affection towards you means you dont mind, so in the future this guy will have no problem doing more with you. So trust me he gets the message, keep the subtle vibe hints going.

Anymore updates?
 
Virtually all of my close straight friends kiss me on the lips, sometimes very well, too. Fewer of my close gay friends do, perhaps because I don't have as many close gay friends. All know I'm bi.

Re this issue at hand: I joke with my gay friends, "I don't mind straight guys as long as they put out."

In my experiences with my str8 male friends, we hug each other and often kiss. sometimes on the cheek, or the neck, or the lips. I tend to see it this way. These friends are very heterosexual, but they have a closer intimacy with me than their other str8 male friends. I feel that many men want to show close innocent affection to their male buds, but are afraid of being branded. Because I'm gay, maybe they feel like they can just express how they feel. I don't ever think my str8buds who act that way are closeted homos, but they love me like I love them. Platonically. In a way i think it's freeing for them. They don't feel the need for all the macho bullshit. We can just be as we are..Does that make sense to anyone?
 
Sounds like a good straight to me. I wouldn't think anything of it. Probably all in your head.

Ya I agree. Str8 guys do some pretty weird things that might seem gay to people who swing that way but to the str8 guy its just messn around and being silly
 
I am closeted and my best friend is straight. I was first attracted to him because of his looks and attitude. That was years ago. Now he is my best friend. I love being with him. I love the smell of him. I cherish his touch. I respect his opinions. I love his perspective. I often need his advice. We have been through a lot together. I cannot begin to explain the depth of my love for him. I would do nothing to alienate him from me. He has a beauty that is only seen by me and he once told me that he counts me as his number one blessing - every day. That is good and it is more than enough for me.
No one sees him as I do. No one sees me as he does. Sex is wonderful, but true friendship is bliss.
Enjoy your friend with all your heart.
 
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