Totally turned on, but not able to cum

[MrCollegeboi]

I'm new to JUB, so I apologize if this question has already been asked. I did attempt some research here in the forums, but wasn't able to find anything specific.

My question is that I recently started dating a guy that I really like, and when we had sex for the first time a few weeks ago, I wasn't able to cum. I noticed that I was totally turned on mentally, and that my erection was up and down throughout the night. When he asked if I was ready to cum, I said yes, but then I couldn't. I never ended up cumming that night, and it wasn't until I was alone by myself and taking care of myself that I did. I'm a typical 21 year old college student, really quite healthy (perhaps need to hit up the gym a bit more, but nothing to be overly concerned about), eat very well, don't drink/smoke, and I have a pretty impressive sex drive. Could this be psychological? I do find pleasure in pleasing others, so perhaps I've stopped thinking about my own gratification? I am still nervous around my boyfriend sometimes, too. If you have any suggestions I would be most grateful!

 

[mbamike]

Are you the bottom? I am never hard while I am being fucked. My guy has to wait a few minutes after he has fucked me to get me off. Usually by sucking and stroking my cock for me.

 

[hydrox500]

Try finger fucking yourself to stimulate your prostate gland it should help you!

 

[KaraBulut]

It's a very common issue- the goldilocks of sex issue- either too early or too late.

A lot of guys who are new to sex find that- after years of masturbation- sex with another person is different than just doing it yourself.

Add this to all the weird things that pass through your head when you're with someone new and all the nervousness that comes with it...

It's normal. The more often you get naked with your new partner, the more relaxed you'll be and the easier it will be for you to come from the things that another guy can do for you.

 

[intheric]

this is what I posted about last night. I have the same problem.

 

[teadrinker]

Very wise words spoken by all the posters above. The first time I bottomed I had exactly the same issue. For me it was purely psychological, and once I got over the excitement and "newness" of the experience, and was able to mentally relax, I had less trouble. I still have occasions, though, when I don't seem to be able to cum. At such times I just let myself enjoy the sensuality of the sex, and not worry too much about the big O. What works for me - and maybe you could try this on too - is viewing orgasm not as a necessity, but more as a lovely icing on a sexual cake. There's lots of good non-orgasmic sex to be had.

-T.

 

[MrCollegeboi]

Thank you all for the fantastic replies. As someone said, after years of masturbating on your own and learning what feels best, having sex with someone changes all of that completely. I love my boyfriend and I feel really comfortable and close to him; I guess we'll just have to experiment. But don't get me wrong, the sex is fantastic

 

[benlemieux2003]

You could have a prostate problem.

I used to have the same problem. Turns out I have prostatitis and I'm getting treated for it. It's pretty common among young males and easily treated.

I'm having a bout of prostatitis... how were you treated? how are you doing now?