Trying an escort

[Eyebrow]

What other reasons you need?


Plus, I think if someone has to pay for sex, that is pathetic in itself.
Where is your dignity? Do you really consider yourself so shallow and uninteresting that you can't go to a bar and pick up a guy? I'm pretty certain that if you want to have sex you can do so for free. What bonus does an escort provide? Good body? So what? Everyone can have a good body. more experience? I never noticed that experience mattered in a sexual act. Presence and dedication matters.

I would imagine an older person that offers a substantial difference in terms of age that is fond of a younger man might have no other choice but to pay for such entertainment. It is quite difficult to understand why some one would choose such an option especially when many of us are not faced with rejection on a constant basis in the dating scene.

Uconnflyer’s position really made me see things from a different perspective. As the old saying goes, “Never judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”

 

[Eyebrow]

I am sorry to say this, but I think there are plenty of young guys who are turned on by older guys.

I would imagine it is no different than a young girl that is attracted to an older man as well. Attraction to another person is not limited to age.

One thing is certain. At least both parties (in a pay for entertainment relationship) have come to a mutual agreement. Both parties know where they stand which eliminates one of them being stringed along, filled with assumptions and, being hurt in the long run.

While I don’t have any experience with Gay relationships, I have lots of experience with Girl relationships. I’ve found that 98% percent of the girls I’ve dated could careless about being the girl on the side once I told them upfront I had a girlfriend and explained where they would stand in the relationship within the first date.

If you are an extremely good looking male which, attracts a lot of guys in addition to girls on a daily basis walking down the street without saying a word edgewise, you already know many are going to use you as a show piece or boy toy. So you become very selective on whom you date and raise your standards.

If you are an older successful unattractive male you already know everyone has a price. So it is a matter of finding what that price is. It could be money for shopping, a car, a home, a trust fund, Marriage, children or all the above.

All it takes is to find out what does the person want to give their services. Those services in which you are seeking could be sex, companionship or a combination of the two.

 

[Benvolio]

There are factors involved which have not been discussed. You can surf the escort sites, look at the photos, weight the merits etc, like looking through a catalog, knowing that you can enjoy any of the guys by paying for it. Shopping is a big part of the fun. For some, it is a hobby of sorts. Escorts tend to be unusually handsome guys with good bodies and dicks and who take care of themselves; go to the gym, get some tan, etc. Since they know they are exposed to disease, they are careful in that respect. You must always practice safer sex, but in reviewing the escorts you can, to some extent eliminate those who admit or appear to being positive.
Many of the guys who hire escorts are traveling. They can review the site for the destination, choose and escort and make arrangements in advance. Your type, where you want it, when you want it.
Some escorts are porn stars, whom you have seen in action and admired, and can see again after you have met him.
The alternatives are hit and miss. Go to a bar, you might meet a good looking guy and you might not.
I suggest you go to rentboy.com, scroll through the men and see if you don't find some you would like to meet. You will understand the feel of the attraction.

 

[gvillager]

I'd never hire an escort or be a sex worker, but I also don't look down on those that participate in those types of things. We have fought far to long and have made many sacrifices to keep those critical of gay sex out of our bedrooms. We'd be hypocrites if we were to pass judgement on what other consenting adults do in their bedrooms.

 

[Eyebrow]

^Reducing human relationships and emotional needs to a crude exchange won't solve anything.

If you are ugly, shape up. If your face is terrible, you can go to plastic surgery.
Accepting your sorry state as an unchangeable fact woN't solve anything. It won't lead to progress.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some are willing to spend time with someone that does not meet their expectations physically. However, it is rare you will find anyone willing to stay with a person financially worst than them selves and is physically unattractive in their eyes as well.

That applies whether you are hiring a prostitute or standing at the, alter about to get married.

I have no experience with escorts. However, I do know a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.

 

[KaraBulut]

Just a reminder that this is a no-flame zone.

 

[uconnflyer]

?
So bascially not wanting to do something right is an excuse for doing it wrong?

Everyone can get a hookup, because you can improve your looks anytime.

Not true, trust me. I've had a lot of plastic surgery to reconstruct my face (9 surgeries from birth through adulthood) and I'm still pretty ugly. Sure, I'm better off than no surgery at all, but trust me, no one gets turned on by my looks....particularly if I'm looking for guys my own age (20-30's). I can't tell you how many times I've been told, "you're a really nice guy, but I'm just not attracted to you."

The only interest I get is from much older men who are so desperate to sleep with anyone who is young that they'll "tolerate" my looks. While that's ok I guess, sometimes its nice to have a shot at a young, hot guy. Even if I have to pay for it.

 

[uconnflyer]

Just a follow-up for those that might care (and I realize that may be no one), but I went through with getting an escort and I don't regret it.

The experience was a bit surreal. I'm not used to having a young, attractive guy show up at my door and be naked in my bed in a matter of minutes. Also, the guy I selected had done porn in the past (sites many on this board are familiar with) and I actually own a few of his videos. So, it was a bit weird to have him present in the flesh and blood.

He was really cute, but came across as being genuinely nice too (though that could have just been an act). We talked briefly before starting and it was a very pleasant and easy conversation. We moved to the bedroom and he quickly got naked...again this was a little surreal since I've never had a hot guy get naked, hop in my bed and then invite me in.

I'll admit my own performance was not the greatest reflecting a combination of being nervous and not having a lot of experience. We had some nice foreplay (though my kissing skills are not great) and then oral. My oral skills seemed to work as he quickly got hard, so that made me feel good. While turned on, I couldn't get really hard, so I had to bottom which was fine by me though I think he prefers to bottom but listed as versatile. It was a little tough at first (as he was well above average in size), but eventually we built up a good rhythm. After we both came, we laid in bed for a little bit and chatted before he headed out. I was a bit sore for the next two days, but it was worth it.

The only regret I would have was that I wish I was a better performer in bed. That takes practice of course which I don't have much of. The upside to a good escort is you don't really feel obligated to impress them. It's not like you're trying to have a long-term relationship. Though I kind of feel bad for him having to have sub-par sex with me, but at the same time I realize that's the choice he made given the line of work.

Of course, there are downsides. I'm not going to pretend this was romantic, boyfriend sex. Truth be told, I could have cuddled with him for hours (before or after the sex), but that wasn't going to happen unless I forked out a lot more money which I don't have. And I'm under no illusion that this replaces a real relationship. I still intend to try and find a real relationship, though I recognize the odds are against me.

My recommendations are as others said to go with someone that has reviews and is on the high-end side. I would stay far away from Craigslist/Backpage. My father's words were always "If you are going to do something, do it right and not half-assed." Now I'm sure he didn't have purchasing male escorts in mind when he said that , but the theory is still a sound one. Of course, safe sex is a must too.

 

[gvillager]

I'm glad to hear that you had a good experience.

 

[yhtang]

Good to know things went relatively well for you, and that you felt it was money well spent.

It is definitely good to know you are fully aware you what was going on, and that you have not lulled yourself into some illusion from which you could not/would not escape. Nothing like having both feet firmly planted on the ground and enjoying the moment for what it was.

 

[Benvolio]

Sounds great. Your future meetings with him or other escorts, and others, will be better, because you will be less uncertain and self conscious. Hopefully, the nervousness in anticipation will never go away. Waiting for him to show up is part of the fun, like waiting to open Christmas presents. One caution would be to avoid expecting too much perfection as you choose and call for an escort. The descriptions and photos are often exaggerated, so if you allow for that you are less likely to be disappointed. When you find one you really like, continue to hire him. You will become acquainted and more comfortable with each other. The next one you choose may not be as good.

 

[palemale]

You're a long time dead. We spend most of our waking hours working. Use your money for something that gives you pleasure. I've never gone to an escort, so I not in much of a position to give advice. As with a romantic relationship, or a fuck bud situation or causal hook-up, go into the experience with your eyes open and without illusions about the nature of the relationship. You never know, relationships change. Sometimes hook-ups, and even a sex for pay relationship, evolves into something different.

 

[uconnflyer]

Sounds great. Your future meetings with him or other escorts, and others, will be better, because you will be less uncertain and self conscious. Hopefully, the nervousness in anticipation will never go away. Waiting for him to show up is part of the fun, like waiting to open Christmas presents. One caution would be to avoid expecting too much perfection as you choose and call for an escort. The descriptions and photos are often exaggerated, so if you allow for that you are less likely to be disappointed. When you find one you really like, continue to hire him. You will become acquainted and more comfortable with each other. The next one you choose may not be as good.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll probably always be self conscious, just given the nature of who I am, how I've grown up and my appearance. It's funny you mention Christmas presents. I think if I do this again, I would have him wait to get naked to allow me to slowly "unwrap my gift." He got naked so quickly, it was a bit of a shock. I'll admit that I did want to ask him, what he thought of me. Was I even remotely attractive to him? Did he enjoy the sex at all? I didn't ask these questions as I don't think they are appropriate and I might not like the answer anyway.

I agree with you on managing expectations. I had very low expectations coming in. In fact, I was more worried he might turn out to be a socio-path that robbed me, murdered me or got me arrested. I was pleasantly surprised that he seemed to be a very normal and easy-going guy. I did request that he send recent pics, since it was obvious from his profile that he was using some photos that were a bit dated. He sent recent photos and sure enough, he didn't look exactly like his "professional" porn photos. He was a bit twinkish in his porn days, but now had put on some weight (some muscle and some fat). Funny enough though, when he showed up at my front door, he was actually cuter than expected. His recent photos didn't do him justice.

Not sure if I'll see him again. He's not local to my home town (he was just visiting), so it would require travel. I don't plan on seeing another escort right away. It's not something I want to become a regular habit. Maybe just a treat every once in a while to help me cope with life....kind of like Christmas only slightly more often.