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Trying to be just gay or straight?

D

dizzzy

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Ok, well you know how some people that are bi or gay try and be stright. There are many reasons so I don't think I need to list them.

But does anyone try and be just gay? I made a thread called something I need to say. But I'' mention some of it here.

I do see myself as bi, but I only click on an emotinal level with women. Never felt more than just lust with a guy. What complicates matters is I'm not into random hook ups, but it's kinda tough to click with someone when you can't from an emotinal part.

But since I am into guys as well. Overall I'm into women, but I do find myself sometimes more turned on by guys. It might take me 5-seconds to get turned on by a girl, but 3-seconds by a guy. If I vision myself in the future in a serious relationship I see a woman. But sexually I find myself thinking about guys slightly more than women.

I'm not a porn guy in general, but I try and avoid stra8 porn and just watch gay porn. Sometimes I try and force myself to want just guys rather than girls. I know some people might think I'm just gay and can't accept, that couldn't be futher from the truth.

I know I'm weird LOL, but most people try and be str8. Where I'm sort of doing the opposite.
 
Yeah see that's the problem being myself LOL. I'm not into random hook ups, and while yes I am attracted to guys, I cannot connect with them they way I do women.

So I find myself sometimes trying to forget women and focus just on guys. Complicted to expalin
 
I do not try to be anything. I am what I am. People can take me as I am or they can leave me.
 
Dizzzy: It's a little unusual, but not unheard of. I have two friends that probably fall into the category of "wanting" to be gay more so than actually being gay. One was married to a woman for almost a decade. There aren't many men he finds attractive and they're always very feminine. Mostly, women catch his eye. My other friend has sex with men, but never relationships, and he never cums; he can only climax with women. Surprisingly (to me), both of them consider themselves completely gay and not the least bit bisexual. Then again, only they know what they truly feel and think.

Ramindra said it well -- don't try, just "be."
 
I hear you about connection to woman on an emotional level! This is one component of my current relationship that is lacking...the meaningful/emotional level.

Strange, 'cause Im the "male" acting one, the one who appears straight, but my BF ends up being the stoic one, the one who seldom contributes emotion.
 
dizzzy said:
Yeah see that's the problem being myself LOL. I'm not into random hook ups, and while yes I am attracted to guys, I cannot connect with them they way I do women.

So I find myself sometimes trying to forget women and focus just on guys. Complicted to expalin
Click to expand...
Maybe you just haven't found the right guy you click with yet (I know that's the case with me so I don't exclude that it could and hopefully will happen). I as yourself am not into random hook-ups so I can't have sex or click with people I don't know well, might be the same for you maybe... simply to find someone you do click with.

I hope you find whomever you click with.

click click click, there's too much clicking in this post lol
 
Trying to be just gay or straight?

Who said there had to be a choice?

*shrug*
 
I've tried both and its just impossible for me. I tried being 100% straight. I figured life would be so much easier for me if I were. I tried, but kept falling for guys and all things gay. I tried being 100% gay. I figured atleast I'd be in a group where there were alot more like me and I'd find support. I kept looking at girls and all things female related. Being bisexual, I feel I am shunned at times from the heterosexual community and the gay community. Its SO FRUSTERATING! It would be easier if I could fall into one group and stick with it. I can't. I'm just not programmed that way I guess. Over time, I've grown to accept and love who I am. This does not come overnight and usually takes growing into. I'm lucky I discovered this at a young age. Most guys like me go through most their lives before they come to terms on who they are. I think everyone just wants to find someone they are nuts about who they can love and be themself around and get the same in return.
 
gay, straight, bi.....these are just names. Another way to help people fit into culture.

Truth be told...don't worry about it. Just be yourself. That's all that matters in the end. ;)
 
:-)I agree with both Romantico and Screwnutty on this Topic. Just Be Yourself and everything else will fall into place. :-) Do Not Worry Be Happy.;)
 
I hear ya. It is really frustrating and sounds very similar to my problem. It's all well and good to "just be yourself" but difficult when you don't know what "yourself" really is. Straight and gay are labels that are easy to identify with but nothing simple for bisexuals.

I feel my attractions yo-yo between men and women but I would say on average I too am more physically attracted to men and more emotionally attracted to women. I tried identifying myself as straight and gay exclusive but that didn't work.

But I think Romantico is right. After awhile, you just get use to it and accept it as who you are. I'm still working towards that point but still have the confused/frustrated days.

I was hoping to offer some helpful advice but I don't have any. Hopefully, if you figure things out, you can share them for those of us stuck in the same boat.
 
I find myself doing a yo-yo act often:
Where I live, it isn't safe to be gay, so my well-practiced straight persona slips into place. When I go over the mountains to Portland, I often shift 180 to gay mode. The first 'act' is a matter of personal safety; the second I think comes from the feeling of freedom in being able to express something I repressed for so long, and fought so hard once I admitted I was even sexual.
 
dizzzy said:
Ok, well you know how some people that are bi or gay try and be stright. There are many reasons so I don't think I need to list them.

But does anyone try and be just gay? I made a thread called something I need to say. But I'' mention some of it here.

I do see myself as bi, but I only click on an emotinal level with women. Never felt more than just lust with a guy. What complicates matters is I'm not into random hook ups, but it's kinda tough to click with someone when you can't from an emotinal part.

But since I am into guys as well. Overall I'm into women, but I do find myself sometimes more turned on by guys. It might take me 5-seconds to get turned on by a girl, but 3-seconds by a guy. If I vision myself in the future in a serious relationship I see a woman. But sexually I find myself thinking about guys slightly more than women.

I'm not a porn guy in general, but I try and avoid stra8 porn and just watch gay porn. Sometimes I try and force myself to want just guys rather than girls. I know some people might think I'm just gay and can't accept, that couldn't be futher from the truth.

I know I'm weird LOL, but most people try and be str8. Where I'm sort of doing the opposite.
Click to expand...

I could have written this myself----exactly the way I feel.
 
Well at least I'm not alone.Glad someone else understands. Maybe I'm making it more complicated, but it's just tough when you might be into someone sexually, but cannot click with them.

I've tried, but it just never felt right. Where as with women it feels right. Even if sexually I can get turned on by both.
 
Dizzy - you're not alone! As many other said, you just have to be comfortable with who you are. (easier said than done) At one point in my life I said "No more women!" as I had just come out of a bad straight relationship. It was a week later that I fell head over heels in love with another woman. Just let your heart do what it feels.
 
Well if I do just that, than I know it's women for sure. I've met guys, but it never felt right ya know? I still had sexual thoughts, but when the time came it felt wrong for me. Where as with women I never felt that.

But yet I still feel an attraction to guys. This isn't something new. Been like that since a teen, but could never go through with it. Again it felt wrong for me, but the feelings don't go away.
 
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