Trying to break up with a "straight" guy!

[texan_slant]

UM, well, it was never a relationship to begin with - it was just sex!

Gay, straight, bi whatever - he was never committed to you. Actions speak louder than words, and if your intuition tells you that he takes you for granted, then it is prob true.

It all depends on what you want out of it.

The true test of your friendship is to see if/how it changes if you turn off the sex.

 

[darren]

I know exactly how you feel - that's how my friend treated me. We were once very close, but things happened and i had the chance to escape. So i did. We barely talk now, and he still offers me the sex, but i turn him down. I promised my other friends that i wouldn't go near him again. And i haven't.

Sorry for turning this about me, now back to your story. Is he really your only connection to meet new friends? Are there no clubs or places where you can meet new people?

Another thing about him is that he is a major man slut! So it drives me nuts that he talks about girls even though we've been having sex for the past 3 months. The thing is I lost all my friends and he's the only connection I have to meet new people, but I always think he takes my friendship for granted even though I've supported him for his rough times. I'm tired that he has a hard heart for me, but I will never know if he is really gay or straight. Now he's telling me that he wants to have a relationship with this girl. He never talked to me about girls and his interest to be in a relationship.

He seems to be in denial about his sexuailty. Or maybe he doesn't talk to girls about you, becuase you've told him you're gay. You're better off without with, but like you said yourself, you don't want to dump him. Just find some new people, and hang out with them a bit more, then it gives you excuse to not be with him so much, so you can move on and get over him. It took months to get over my guy, but i think it's for the best. I've met some great people by really pushing myself into coversations. Maybe you could try the same?

 

[G-Lexington]

It sounds like you're hoping the sex will somehow convince him 1. that he's gay, and 2. that you two belong together. But if it ain't happening after three months, then it probably ain't happening.

Best bet - make a clean break. Stop the sex, stop hanging out with him so much, and work on re-establishing your own identity, and your own network of friends. It'll be tough, since you have feelings for this guy, and hey, free sex. But it's going to be harder to move on if you stay in his presence, and much harder if you stay in his bed - those "I'm sure he'll come around" feeling will reassert themselves, and you'll stay right where you are.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

Good lord.

He isn't the only man on earth that you will be able to talk to and fall in love with.

It is very apparent that you are not his number one priority.
Either enjoy the sex for what it is or dump his ass immediately and find someone who doesn't just use you as a cumdump while forming only emotional attachments with girls.

 

[EvilForce]

He's your first crush, your first sexual partner. They call it the virgin virus. It's just the way many human are wired. You will look back fondly at it for a long time. But you are confusing intimacy, which you do not have with this person, with sex. With some men you get to have intimacy, but no sex. Others sex, but no intimacy. But when you find a man that you can have both intimacy and sex with, then you'll have your first real boyfriend!

If you can separate your emotions from the sexual act then keep him around, and realize you do not have a relationship with him. You are friends that fuck. You cannot offer him what he apparently needs, and that's not your fault. It is what it is. If you can't separate those feelings from the sex act, then you need to stop having sex with him, and move on.

 

[954dude]

Well its simple...tell him "No more sex!"

 

[rareboy]

Well, you're not being honest with any of us.

So you're thinking that you might hit it off with the third guy in your threesome and then you can dump the first guy?

I'm not making hopes for something; it's just a little laugh for me!

Is there some actual advice that you're looking for are is the purpose of your thread to entertain?

 

[KaraBulut]

...and I know he cares about my even though he's straight. But I feel my situation would be like Darren described. If I stop the sex, I feel he wouldn't want to hang out with me on the side one-on-one when we're not partying with other people.

Friends with benefits is fine if everyone is on equal ground. No strings. No commitment, No hurt feelings. No problem.

Friends with benefits between a gay guy and a straight guy is not equal ground.

This guy is a user. And he's using you.

The way to stop it is to get a real boyfriend- one who isn't a user or a closet case- and tell your "I'm just sexual" straight friend that you're not going to service his needs anymore.

You're probably right- after you stop putting out, he's probably going to find someone else to use. But honestly, that would be a good thing for everyone- especially you.

 

[MindBlast]

I say take up the offer for the 3way if you're interested in the other guy, and then drop the one you're "seeing" altogether.

Alternatively, decline and L2PublicTransportation and go meet new people.