Well, since this site has a blog function, I figured I'd start writing in it. I started seeing a therapist over 2 months ago and taking medication he prescribed for my OCD, anxiety and major depression. I was becoming an agoraphobic/recluse and even though I didn't mind being alone most of the time and enjoyed it, I figured I needed to be a somewhat functional member of society.
I never thought I'd go to a therapist in the Philippines. I tried counseling over decade ago in college in California after taking a psychology class. At that time, I figured I had Social Anxiety Disorder and started taking Paxil. I never took it consistently and I hated how it felt. I felt like a piece of me was gone and I missed having daydreams right before going to sleep. Everything just felt blank. So I just stopped Paxil and therapy all together for over a decade. I think part of the reason I moved to Japan after college and then the Philippines was to escape into other cultures that saw depression and other mental quirks differently. It worked for many years being able to discover new and different aspects of the cultures but after a decade as the saying goes "wherever you go, there you are."
Finding a therapist here was hard. One of the first ones I called told me to go outside right now and buy The King James Bible and read the passages after I told her I couldn't leave my place without drinking first. Then she just started laughing at me. The therapist I see now seems decent so far. He's been prescribing me antidepressants for the past two months. It definitely worked the first month. I was on a bit of a high. I started writing to friends and ex-boyfriends I haven't talked to in years. I signed up for Facebook after avoiding it for a decade. I even signed up to this site after just observing and reading it for years.
But this second month, I don't think it works as well as it did the first month. I still have OCD and my anxiety is still the same. The depression used to work but the other day, two hours after taking antidepressants, a really bad memory from the past just wouldn't leave my mind for hours. Eventually, I just drank alcohol and I felt better, then fell asleep. I don't know where I'm going with this but I figure I'd just write about these things then let it linger in my mind.
I never thought I'd go to a therapist in the Philippines. I tried counseling over decade ago in college in California after taking a psychology class. At that time, I figured I had Social Anxiety Disorder and started taking Paxil. I never took it consistently and I hated how it felt. I felt like a piece of me was gone and I missed having daydreams right before going to sleep. Everything just felt blank. So I just stopped Paxil and therapy all together for over a decade. I think part of the reason I moved to Japan after college and then the Philippines was to escape into other cultures that saw depression and other mental quirks differently. It worked for many years being able to discover new and different aspects of the cultures but after a decade as the saying goes "wherever you go, there you are."
Finding a therapist here was hard. One of the first ones I called told me to go outside right now and buy The King James Bible and read the passages after I told her I couldn't leave my place without drinking first. Then she just started laughing at me. The therapist I see now seems decent so far. He's been prescribing me antidepressants for the past two months. It definitely worked the first month. I was on a bit of a high. I started writing to friends and ex-boyfriends I haven't talked to in years. I signed up for Facebook after avoiding it for a decade. I even signed up to this site after just observing and reading it for years.
But this second month, I don't think it works as well as it did the first month. I still have OCD and my anxiety is still the same. The depression used to work but the other day, two hours after taking antidepressants, a really bad memory from the past just wouldn't leave my mind for hours. Eventually, I just drank alcohol and I felt better, then fell asleep. I don't know where I'm going with this but I figure I'd just write about these things then let it linger in my mind.