U won't understand.. don't bother reading

[StlKj]

There are a lot of people who understand. As someone else on here recently wisely pointed out, there are far more gay people who don't fit any stereotype than there are who do.

Perhaps you need to examine what your definition of masculine is. What do you want and need from a friendship? How is it that the people you are drawing to you are not able to satisfy your need?

Your idea of "soft" seems to be fear-based in some ways. You take them to task for being somewhat soft, and not bad-ass enough, but then you express that you're going to abandon this online persona because you've let yourself get too vulnerable, given too much of yourself on here. To me, that sounds "soft." You've let your fears, concerns desires be exposed, and now you're contemplating running. Running from what--your own "softness?"

Do you fear that part of yourself that you don' t seem to understand or appreciate, the side you seem to associate with being less than manly, so much that you must reject anyone who appears to be more in touch with that part of themselves? Are you rejecting in them what you are afraid of in yourself?

Just something to think about.

 

[EvilForce]

Ancient, I've read a number of your posts, and your complaints. Might I suggest a little self-reflection. When you state repeatedly how many others you have been with, or tried to be with that don't live up to your expectations you need to step back from the situation. Is it really those other 10 or 15 people that have the same problem? Or is it YOU that has the problem? Logically speaking what would Occam's Razor Theory conclude?

Now, you are free to continue to repeat the same cycle you have been on for quite some time, doing the same things each time yet hoping for a different outcome. Again, logically speaking, if you do the same things over and over again, is it really going to give you a different outcome? Doubtful.

Take this opportunity to figure out what's going on in your head/heart rather than looking outward.

 

[G-Lexington]

Um, I'd like to think I'm a masculine gay guy, and I have absolutely no problem making friends. Gay, straight, and otherwise. And I don't think any of them have fallen for me. Either I'm doing something right, or I'm just really butt ugly.

Lex

 

[Rex]

First off, it is kind of vain of you to think that know one will understand you.

Your post is really confusing, but from what I gathered you are having trouble finding other masculine gay friends.

Your friends don't have to be gay. You can always make friends with straight guys. It is potentially the places you are hanging out. Try sporting events, sports bars, ect ect ect.

Are you looking for a masculine partner as well? Or does that not matter for you. Most likely you will fall in love with someone that is entirely different than you picture your "ideal man" to be like. Don't judge a book by its cover. There is a lot we don't understand about what we ourselves are attracted to.

About your friend. Give him a break. He has a crush on you. So what? Tell him again that you wish to be his friend and that you do not wish for a realationship one more time. If he seems to be unable to accept this news you might need to find a new friend if it bugs you that much.

No offense, but you seem really arrogant. You describe your friend like he is a slave and you are a master.

LOL, I agree, and I don't quite understand what it is that he wants?

If it's masculine gay guys, they're there. You have to look hard but they're there.

Someone said the majority of gay guys are masculine, all I gotta say is I disagree. They're the minority but they are there if you look hard enough.

 

[mike0501]

Well, I sure as hell understand what you're saying. I have always felt that I was gay enough to be miserable about it but, somehow not gay enough to be happy about it. I just don't seem to be able to relate to gay guys. I have tried so many times, but we just never "click" like I do with my friends (who are all straight). It's very frustrating, indeed.....

 

[rareboy]

I am not surprised you are single.

It is not the fact that you are a masculine 'fagget' (sic) that is the problem.

You have a lot of unresolved anger and frustration that seems to result in aggression. It also appears that alcohol may be a trigger for this as well.

Try to work on these areas.

Life is too short to keep pushing everyone away like you appear to want to do.

 

[3x3is9]

I'm not exactly sure why you felt the need to post this since a) you think no one will understand you and b) you're unwilling to try to help them do so (<<plz don't ask what fire is...>>). You're pushing us away before we even try to help.

I think Killjoke made a very good point that you seem to be afraid of being "soft." <<not wanting to turn into a whiny biatch!>> I'm having trouble trying to figure out what you seem to think a "masculine fagget" is, other than the fact that they have "fire." Would you care to elaborate?

I don't think the reason you are not able to easily make friends is because you are a "masculine fagget," I think you just have some expectations that don't seem to fit in with reality. If you pick and choose who to make friends with before you even get to know them (aka, disregarding them because they are too soft, not gay, etc) you're gonna have a hard time.

Personally, from the very limited view I get from your posts, I probably wouldn't be friends with you since you seem to be full of yourself, or think you're better than everyone, because you are this coveted "masculine fagget." Maybe if you try to be more down to earth, and more open to other possibilities, you might find people will be more drawn to you.

 

[954dude]

Your thinking methods are the problem. You'll continue to be stuck in this situation if you're so uptight and close-minded as you are right now.

 

[attallaborn]

Wow, dude you’re a piece of work. If I’m understanding your writing, which seems to be a bit scattered and vague; you are saying that you have a “fem” guy-friend problem because your masculine and they always fall in love with your ultra-super-sexy-masculine-self? You are also proclaiming that you like to run with gays or “femms” because you enjoy having them “tag” along with you, but will not do anything with them because they are not “soft” enough for you. If that’s the “soft” friendship that you are searching for, then you may need to seek the companionship of a female who will not mistake your natural masculinity for the wrong reasons. Also, stop gracing these “femms” with your presence in awareness of your uncanny ability to turn them out and leave them “brokenhearted” and miserable. You also relate that straight guys or badasses (your words) have troubles in making real gay friends. I don’t know if you’ve heard but most “straight guys” don’t run or hang around openly gay guys who might find them attractive; instead, they hang around other straight guys or gays who don’t find them attractive. Maybe you should do like the straight guys and hang around masculine gays like yourself. Oh, you also said that you want to go to a bath house and lose yourself. Does this indicate some type of desire for an orgy or self indulgence? Is this your overall goal to get laid or half gay sex and get over the frustration of not having “femm” friends who will not lust and beat themselves up over you? Do the gays at the bathhouse have to be “soft” and woman like, or do they just have to be of the same sex and willing to fool around without getting feelings involved? Dude I’d like to give you some advice but I’m struggling to comprehend your message.

 

[RedRedKroovy]

ok I'm missing something here

I'm straight and have gay friends with similar interests. Hey where I live in BFE TX there is nothing but redneck gay guys and that is a whole different subject.

If you don't want to be around prissy guys then don't. I don't understand why you have to have gay friends only. I mean the gay guys I hang with say shit about gay stuff and while I may razz them about it I don't freak out or anything.

 

[3x3is9]

ancient1, I re-read your first post, and it's much more clear now that you explained yourself. I'm sorry I misinterpreted your initial post. Drunk, emotional posts can get pretty cryptic, lol

I completely agree with you. Especially about people who "tag along" instead of "running with" you. Even though I don't know too many gay guys (since I don't actively seek them out), I totally understand what you mean about "fire." I can only ever take so much of my gay friends, because most of them are so passive. I tend to prefer hanging out with my straight guy buddies for that reason. I like the "fire" term that you use, but I wouldn't pin having or not having it to being "masculine" or "feminine." There are plenty of "masculine" guys who are passive and I know a "feminine" guy who is quite aggressive.

I wish you luck on your quest to find a gay man with "fire." They are out there.

(By the way, I use quotation marks around "masculine" and "feminine" because not everyone has the same definition of those words as you do (or I do). Although you claimed those words are a cultural thing, and that everyone knows what they mean - not everyone has that definition (especially within the gay community I would think) now that the typical roles of men and women are changing.)