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Uh, I got a conundrum...

luminum

luminum

Imbeciles...
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I gotta say, I feel silly about asking this, because for some reason, I feel like I have some image to uphold. So this is a little embarassing. !oops!

I not too long ago put up a personals ad on a site, mostly just for hooking up.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I really have no qualms about hooking up with some people just for a fun time while also looking for a relationship, and I know to be safe and what to do to make sure that everythign else that isn't sexual is also safe, like meeting up etc.

But on the other hand, I feel a bit uncomfortable. Does it seem desperate to put up an ad? Does it seem slutty? Or is it just another means to hook up? I totally believe in being a sexual being and not feeling ashamed of one's sexuality and sexual desires, but...

I dunno. I've never put one up before, but while I'm looking for a fulfilling relationship, I also want to have some safe fun. So why do I feel so weird?

Thanks for letting me ramble...
 
The unfamiliar is always confusing and vaguely threatening simply because we've never done it before so we don't know what to expect or how to react. The subconscious craves the security of familiarity and sends out distress signals that we recognise as fear whenever a new situation is encountered.

People have been placing small ads in the gay press since the 1960's and before that they used to (and still do) write on rest-room walls or leave ambiguously-worded cards in newsagents windows or telephone booths, so there's nothing particularly new or outrageous about placing an ad.

An act is only desperate if you lower your standards in order to achieve the intended outcome.You should be aware that there can be an addicitve-quality to one-night-standing and habituating yourself to this could be counter-productive when you do embark upon an extended relationship.
 
Nothing to feel weird about.
How to put this?...
I blame the laws. I see your age. So many places put the rediculous age of 21 before someone can go to "gay" clubs. What are younger guys supposed to do? The age restriction puts all younger gay guys at a disadvantage and places them in potetially dangerous situation. I shake my head.
Years ago on one of my many visits to L.A., there was a gay club in Anaheim that allowed people 18 and up to enter, they just could not drink. I don't understand why all areas with drinking restrictions cannot do this for clubs.
I also notice an upcoming JUB meet in L.A. which has an age restriction of 21, [-X , but I am Canadian and our laws are different and I really cannot comment further on laws of another country that don't affect me or my country.
Good luck with your search and be careful. (*8*)

(I know you are from Michigan, I don't know the age restrictions there)
 
Nah, I can get into gay clubs (I just can't drink or get into bars), but I usually just go there with friends to dance. ;)
 
I don't think that placing an ad is desperate or slutty. I know a few people who have placed ad's either in the paper or on dating websites and have met some really great people.

Placing an ad like that is nothing to be ashamed of or anything like that. It's just another way of meeting people.
 
I know people who met the great love of their life though an ad....life is funny, you are never going to know how some things will turn out. Good luck and at least try to make it a fun experience.
 
Not really sure why you are uneasy or maybe insecure of your decision to place an ad.............the ad is placed now just go with it.........-C- what develops.......& most importantly as -U- yourself say "play safe"...........oh heck go & have some fun.......who knows like rareboy mentions "you may just meet your one true love"............take care.......Yuki

P.S.
No I don't think you are just desperate or "slutty"
 
I don't think placing personal ads for hook ups is slutty at all. I know some very upstanding, professional and unslutty people who do this. It's normal, I think, to want company, socializing, friendship, and affection. Going about these needs comes in different forms for different people. Some people cruise bars, parks, johns, and bath houses. Some place ads. Let others do this [-X all they want, but each person goes about satisfying their needs differently, and as long as they have their head screwed on straight about what they're doing--and why--they're fine.

(As a secondary note, I think it's a good idea to meet up with a stranger in a public place first and go from there. Other, safe-minded guys appreciate that, too, and frequently request it also.)
 
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