Uhh....help?!

[Jjaberwaki]

So...my best friend who's a girl just left for college and we said bye to her boyfriends yesterday cuz i'm visiting until Wednesday then I go bak to Cali and well me and him always joke around and act gay like - we hug each other and grab butts and then peck each other on the neck and we kissed one, nothing full out but slightly and well since I won't see him for a while I decided to tell him that I'm curious with my sexuality tonight and he is completely fine with it and said it was normal.

I asked him if he ever thought of it, but he said never went through a stage but had feint thoughts
and well I wanna actually kiss him. I know he's my best friend's ex and he wouldn't tell her if we did, but I just wanna know if he'll be okay with that. I mean besides the fact we were drunk when we slighly kissed.

He's been with my friend for a year and they had sex A LOT of times and he's with some new girl now but still he's cool with me being curious, and said, "All I know is that you are cool with me and that you are my hombre" and well I see him on Monday to say 'bye to him since I probably won't see him again for a long time or ever again if it comes to that but still....what should I do? When we hug, should I just like say, 'I'm gonna kiss you now,' and lean in?

All help is appreciated!!!

 

[inthecloset]

If that picture is really you, then I say you're too cute to have to deal with this kind of drama.

 

[Jjaberwaki]

it's me and thank=D haha but any advice on my situation??? haha any at all will help me haha

Josh.

 

[inthecloset]

Josh, I wish I could help you.

I feel comfortable in saying that most people on these boards have had a situation like this. I'm sure people will tell you that it's not worth risking the friendship for something like that. Some people might say "what's life without risk?"

But when it comes down to it, the choice is all yours. What do you feel like you should do? How do you think he would react if you told him what you wanted? If he's a good friend, even if he declined he would understand...and if he's a great friend and comfortable with himself then he might respond well.

I don't think there are many people who can actually provide a lot of help for you, because while these situations tend to be common, no one really knows how to deal with them because they're unsure how the other person will react. You should go with your gut and do what your instincts tell you is right.

Hope all turns out well
Much love,
- ITC

 

[KaraBulut]

Ya know... it's one thing if there's a mutual interest between two friends and there's a discussion beforehand about staying friends after a sexual encounter.

This is different. You have a good friend who is straight, seeing a girl and is supportive of you but isn't really interested in experimenting.

So, why are you wasting your time? Maybe because it's a lot easier to chase after someone that you're not going catch than it would be to actually find someone who will get naked with you?

And maybe because if you did find a guy to get naked with, you'd have to do some thinking about whether this is a fantasy or maybe you might be gay?

It sounds like you need to do a bit more thinking about all of this.

P.S. I was surprised to see that you've been a JUB member for 5 years. You must be much older than your friends who are just leaving for college.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>> I'm sure people will tell you that it's not worth risking the friendship for something like that. Some people might say "what's life without risk?"

I'm all for risk when there's a decent chance of reward on the other side, and the consequences of the risk aren't too severe. I don't recommend jumping off buildings and attempting to fly because the chance of you suddenly taking flight are pretty minimal, and the chances that you crash into the pavement are extremely high.

You did everything right, for the most part. You came out to him (more or less) first. You basically laid your cards on the table - "I'm interested in guys, and I'm kinda interested in you, how about you?"

His response was less than encouraging. I mean, he was really cool about you, which was great, but he obviously isn't interested in you sexually. And I think you need to respect that. You want to kiss him, but he obviously isn't overly keen on that idea, so I'd refrain. Because it isn't all about you.

Lex

 

[Autolycus]

If he is such a good friend and you are able to give him a hug onm parting, a light kiss on the cheek would not go amiss. See if he wantts more than that but leave it to him to decide. That way you will not prejudice your relationship with him.

 

[Lube]

So...my best friend who's a girl just left for college and we said bye to her boyfriend(s?) yesterday cuz i'm visiting until Wednesday then I go bak to Cali and well me and him always joke around and act gay like - we hug each other and grab butts and then peck each other on the neck and we kissed one, nothing full out but slightly...

He's been with my friend for a year and they had sex A LOT of times and he's with some new girl now

Well, he sounds like a total closet case to me. I think he might actually be sexually attracted to you.

What I'm not understanding, however, is his relationship with your (girl)friend. Are they boyfriend/girlfriend or just friends? Have they broken up?

I think it would be shitty if you tried seducing him while he's your gf's bf. If he's free, however, I don't see the problem.

Being that he's leaving for a while, though, don't expect much long term out of it.

 

[TX-Beau]

Listen to Karabulut.

You have no proof that this guy is into you. You have supposition based on silly behavior. I've seen straight guys dangle their balls on other straight guy's faces. Why? Who can fathom the mind of the straight guy?

1. STRAIGHT until proven otherwise. The fact that he's telling you he's not interested in experimenting IS your answer.

2. This guy is all tangled up in your friendships, while I'd say you have a better chance of avoiding high drama than a lot of other guys who come in here with the same problem, make sure you contemplate the possible fallout before you do anything irrevocable.

3. I hope you aren't thinking that this is going anywhere dating wise. If it's just lust, that's one thing, if you are harboring some kind of secret crush, that's another.

4. He has a girl, if you were her would you want some random guy kissing your boyfriend.

5. If you MUST persist, ask him if he'll kiss you. If he's pretty confident about his sexuality he may let you. I've run across straight guys who are fine with the tease, and will let you get that far - but be careful of these guys - it's about attention for them, ego. It's just a GAME they're playing, and they never deliver on what they imply. Nor does it mean they're secretly gay.

6. You look pretty damn cute in your pic, go find some gay men, they'll all be trying to kiss you.

 

[Jjaberwaki]

haha i actually joined a long time ago haha i wasn't 18 but i still joined haha i gradauted this past year so i'm right on the legal haha and he's not leaving, i'm the one leaving. He's not dating my friend anymore...he has this new girl and tomorrow we are meeting up to say bye cuz i wont see him for a long while

But today his texts seem more "avoidyish" then anything i've been cracking all these jokes and he hasn't said haha or anything, but it's whatever.

I prob. won't try to kiss him only cuz i'm not that gay, and i value frienship over stupid stuff lyk this which can mess things up u know?

Thanks for the help guys!!!!!!


Josh.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I prob. won't try to kiss him only cuz i'm not that gay.

Yeah, thanks for that.

Lex