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Unable to fall...

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I'll be twenty in Dec. and I have never been in a serious relationship...I am also a virgin because I want to save myself for a person I am in love with...really I'm like a child. ha ha. But anyways I think I have trouble falling in love or even crushing for that matter....It just seems like I can't fall for someone or if I do I find their flaws and convince myself that they aren't right for or are way out of my league...anyways this is now a rant but is anyone else like this?
 
Yep. Exactly the same as you. Only difference is I just turned 21.
 
Don't worry - soon you will realize that you have many flaws and that the other person is absolutely wonderful for looking past all those flaws and thinking you are the bomb!
 
You are among hundreds or thousands of young guys who love to complain and carry on about how they haven't found 'the one'.

Just answer honestly whether your judgmental approach to guys; i.e. that you can find enough reasons to think they are either better than you or not worthy of you, is actually just a conditioned fear response. That is, as long as you can keep the 'dream' alive that there is some one perfect guy, you don't have to take on the risk of failure or rejection by someone else.

For many young 'bi-sexuals', the fear is also that the serious involvement with a guy is going to be the confirmation they secretly dread that they are as gay as a circus.

So. If this isn't the case and you just have a rule-book for what makes the perfect potential boyfriend, why not write them out and then just have your potential bf's, or gf's for that matter just check the boxes that apply.

Or throw away the book, and live. that way, someone else isn't going to have to strike you from their list of possible partners because you are too judgmental.
 
So you haven't met the right girl (or guy) yet. So? It took me until age 21 before I met my first one. And it was strong, and sudden, and full of what now might be termed WTFness. Perhaps more so because I was beginning to think I was immune. Fortunately, I fell for another gay guy, but unfortunately, he wasn't interested in a relationship (or sex). So I spent a couple days cursing the fates, licking my wounds, and then bounced back. This time knowing I wasn't immune. And eventually, I did fall for someone who fell for me.

Just stay out there. Keep interacting with people. It'll happen.

Lex
 
I'm not saying you should run out and have sex just to do it. But I think waiting to be in love is unnecessary. Your first sexual experience is probably not gonna be a magic moment. It'll prolly be a little awkward and uncomfortable even if it is with your Prince Charming.

You just need to find someone who you care about, who cares about protecting your health and you trust enough to not treat you like shit after it is over. I think it's good to have a little sexual experience under your belt before you begin to have adult relationships. I personally would want to date someone who has no sexual experience at this point.

For some reason it seems like even gay/bi people cleave to these unrealistic fairy tale ideals about relationships, that most straight people cant even stick to, in an effort to be not so queer.
 
sounds like it's time to not place so much importance on losing it or liking guys or wanting to be in a relationship and putting more importance on fun and self improvement with every other aspect of your life. keep yourself busy and happy and put yourself out there and men will interact with you and then you'll find someone.
 
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