Unrequited Love - Makes Me Want to Fucking Die

[JetSetJake]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling so alone and unhappy. I just wanted to offer a few words.

I recently experienced a similar situation where I finally got together with the guy I'd been lusting after for ages and we had a first date, it went really well, got along famously, enjoyed each other's company etc and after a while we fell in love and decided to be officially together. We went on trips and he would stay at my place as often as possible etc. Then I left for the summer and when I got back he told me he didn't love me and that we weren't in a relationship and that we were good friends only. I also know that he was up to some stuff during the summer. But he also said that maybe in the future (a month or so maybe) he might be ready for a relationship with me and if I would wait for him then there was the possibility of getting together. I told him I would wait because I loved him and there was nobody else I wanted. Fast forward to the present and we have been back together for about 6 weeks and everything is so much better than before.

I understand that you don't trust what your guy says, but he might mean it - my guy did and it was well worth waiting for. Just bide your time and keep the lines of communication open and see what happens. However, I would also say not to wait too long that you make yourself unhappy.

I hope you find the light at the end of this tunnel and feel better soon. I do know how you feel and it's horrible. But this will work out, and even if it doesn't, something else will come along to rock your world and make you feel the love and greatness you want, need and deserve.

Hugs to ya!

 

[backpacker]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You are in the unenviable position of caring more about a person than they care about you. Unfortunately that happens often in the dating process. The best thing you can do is keep yourself busy and try not to think about him.

In reading your post I get the distinct impression that you were clingy and demanding more of him that he was willing to give. Try to work on not being so intense in the early stages of a relationship.

 

[Dash777]

U sound like an awesome guy. Hard for me to believe that this could happen, but it does happen to the best of us. Hang in there buddy. I still have hope for all of us looking for that special someone. Wont be long before u get it all and more!

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>There is forever more a hollow void in my life that cannot be filled. All I want is an opportunity to build a relationship with him and see where it leads.

No, you don't.

You want to build a relationship with an alternate version of this guy. One who actually DOES care about you, who is interested in having a relationship with you, who isn't asking you to stick around on the sidelines in case nothing else better shows up.

Cut him out. Now. Don't "just be friends". Be honest with him - you fell hard for him, and it hurts too much to "just be friends", so you're gonna have to stop talking to him. And then, do so.

And yeah, life is going to suck for some time. Take time out to kick walls and cry and whatever else you need to do. But day by day, things will improve. You won't have that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach, you'll be able to smile again, you'll feel like being social again, and eventually it'll be behind you.

The best part of your life isn't behind you. It may be the best part for a bit, but it isn't the absolute best. That part comes later. When you actually DO get into a relationship where he feels the same way.

Lex

 

[heymikey]

Well at least you knew what it was like to feel that he actually loved you, so technically, it's not really unrequited love.

Several months from now, you will forget about him (assuming you cut all contact). And then you will look back to this day and just laugh at how crazy you were to think this guy was the best thing that would ever happen to your life, because it isn't. You're only 23, and the best is yet to come.

 

[Ringfinger]

Yep, it sucks. Falling hard for someone who doesn't want you.

At least you felt his love in return, even if just for a short while. Although, that may make it worse, I wouldn't know.

All I can tell you is that my experience with unrequited love was by far the worst pain I had ever felt. Worse than moving away from the place I lived in for 10+ years and worse than having my grandmother die, who lived with my family and was more of a parent to me than either of my parents ever were. Worse than having my family torn apart from my dad's drug and alcohol addictions.

But alas, here I am. I am happy now, and I would never have guessed that I'd feel positive about anything in my entire life a year ago. I never got loved back by the person I loved, but I still got through it, and if I had offed myself then (which I tried to do on several occasions), I would have never lived to be here now. I know this all seems obvious and even cliche, but it's true.

Wait it out. Pain makes us stronger. At least look forward to the strength and wisdom you will have after this whole experience. And once you are no longer in love, you will find something better and wonder why you ever thought Josh was the best thing that ever happened to you.

 

[LuvBoys]

First of all, you are unbelievably well spoken and intelligent, so you should pride yourself on that ability, because it's very rare. You have a ton going for you based on that quality alone.

Second, I felt so bad reading that! What an awful feeling it is to go through what you're going through. To be really in love with someone is such a double-edged sword. On one hand it's THE most amazing feeling in the world when you think of a person and smile, when you long to be with them when you are apart, when being next to them or touched by them feels like you died and went to heaven. Nothing can top those feelings. On the other hand of course, you drive yourself crazy sometimes thinking constantly about them, you lose focus on things, you can be paranoid, and obsessed, and jealous, and those are the worst feelings to have. It hurts so much to lose someone you feel that way about, so I offer you my sympathy and my empathy.

There really isn't anything you can do to get rid of the feelings you'll have now. It's going to hurt so much, but you must take solace in the fact that the feelings will pass, and you definitely will get through it. It takes time and time alone to heal the wounds of a broken heart. It's horrible what he did, but unfortunately this is one of life's heartaches. It will make you wiser next time. Do whatever you can to get through it, but do realize you will make it. A lot of us have gone through heartache, and we all survive, so you will too! Hopefully you have friends or family to help you, or to lend a crying shoulder. You will surprise yourself by how resilient our emotions can be, and you will feel better eventually and be able to face the memories without getting sick or upset. You will feel better when you can look back and realize it was something you had to go through to make yourself grow stronger. And you will feel that way about someone again, so don't give up hope! Hang in there okay!

 

[frcd2pst]

...Knowing that the best part of my life is already behind me at 23 makes me want to kill myself. The best thing in my life that was or ever will be...

I have no doubt that you are devasted, but to give up when you are so young would be such a tragic waste of the many years you have in front of you.

If the relationship is truly over, go ahead take time to mourn it - just don't get lost in it. Then, when you're ready, get on with your life.

I met my soulmate when I was 24, yours is still out there; you will find him.