Very confused..please help!!

[kcboi]

Excellent advice mitchymo!!!!

 

[DeadRussianSpaceMonkey]

However, I've never wanted to have anal sex at all. The thought of it just doesn't turn me on, and I've never been interested.

Everyone has their own sexual desires, and things that really make them tick. I've talked to a few gay guys that aren't that aren't that into anal sex, and would much rather bj's and handjobs. Basically what I am saying is that anal sex =/= gay, their are straight couples that do anal as well, and gay couple that will just do bj's and handjobs.

I also don't have any emotional connection with guys either;I would never want to be in a relationship with one.

..guys have always turned me on, but I've never had to guts to do anything with a guy.

I sometimes think that when guys say things like "i could never have an emotional connection with a guy"- that it's often packaged fear of having that kind of lifestyle, and all of the things that it might entail, what other people might think, what people might do- that really creates this overwhelming and uncomfortable feeling that makes someone want to reject the idea, rather then to open their mind to the possibility. It's too much to think about all at once, and it's much different from the traditional sense of relationships that we are all brought up with. Though, it's possible to connect with someone on an emotional level, although, it's something you both have to want, no matter the mix.

Also, the other day I said "I would do anything for pizza right now"and he said "anything? So you would lick my butt hole?"

Seems like he was giving you an opportunity to do so.- Probably waiting for you to say drop your pants, and lets see it what it looks like- to continue the playfulness.
I'm guessing what's holding you back is that you are afraid of what he might think, or that he might call you a fag (used in a context that you are not ready to accept), or that he might just look down at you for having such thoughts. But it looks like he's having them as well, and there is no reason to feel ashamed about having them. It's all about becoming comfortable about sexuality, but since he's in a relationship- I personally wouldn't push the limits, because I don't think it's fair to the other person. It's still cheating, even though you might downplay it as harmless fun, and it's him possibly exposing her to other things without her knowing. Which I don't think is right.

I really want to do it but I dont wanna ruin any relationships!!

If this is true, you might just want to go on your way, and chalk it up to a fantasy that won't play out with him. Instead, just find someone else to play it out with, who would be into letting you do those things to them.

 

[HunterM]

The next time your friend is saying sexual innuendos to you, you should be playful. Say something like, "Ah...does your girlfriend know about us?" Let's see how he would react. Either he'll play back or he'll stop.

Your desire of wanting to play with guys will never go away. Just take it one day at a time...one guy at a time. Find someone else who is single and willing to play with you. It could just be a sexual relationship for you two to explore...and not an emotional one. Keep it casual.

Only you can decide if you want to pursue further.

 

[Southwest85]

Enjoying anal sex isn't a requisite of being gay; many gay men don't practice it at all. And it's possible that as you begin to explore, you'll want to go deeper (literally ).

The next time your friend is saying sexual innuendos to you, you should be playful. Say something like, "Ah...does your girlfriend know about us?" Let's see how he would react. Either he'll play back or he'll stop.

Excellent advice, but some straight guys will continue to be playful.

 

[Southwest85]

It's possible he's attracted to you. However, as mentioned, it's common for straight guys to flirt with other guys. It's confusing, there's no easy way to determine his level of seriousness, and the best thing to do (if interested in him) is to flirt back and continue to push the envelope. Otherwise, just play around with him and forget about it. No point in giving up a friendship (good friends are hard to find!) unless you're so hung over him it's the only way to move on. It's also worth mentioning that some guys may be (at the very least) curious, but are so far in the closet they're not going to act on their urges; flirting may achieve a certain level of satisfaction with them.

Dreams DO come true, though. When I was 19, an acquaintance continually flirted with me but when I flirted back, he'd get upset and make it clear he was just playing around (and then the cycle would begin all over again). One night we were alone together at the end of a party (no coincidence) and he kept playing with himself through his pants as he was talking to me... after I didn't make a move he whipped out his hard cock and then I went to town. When I went to lick his crack, he thrust his legs into the air giving me access to his hole. Of course, the next time he met he told me 'must've been a great party, I can't even remember what happened after [a mutual friend] left.' But he was the hottest guy I knew and it was an incredibility satisfying experience (I had no desires for a relationship with him) that I've jerked off to hundreds of times reminiscing. (A couple years ago he shocked me in asking if I had enjoyed sucking him and let me know it was the best blowjob he'd ever received. Obviously he wanted more, but he's married with children-taboo for me).

 

[Southwest85]

Trust me -- as long as he's an integral part of your life and you're seeing him most days, the feelings will NEVER go away. In order to get over him, you need to move on, meet new people and think as little of him as possible OR accept that fact that you'll just be friends. I believe the latter is virtually impossible in your late teens/early 20s (ranging hormones) - sure you may have "accepted" the fact you'll just be friends, but the feelings are still there and will hinder your ability to develop other healthy relationships.

 

[HunterM]

At this point, there is no need to try to understand him or over-analyze him. Call him crazy. Call him a lost cause. Just like...don't waste your time and energy trying to understand Charlie Sheen's recent behaviors. You cannot control what he thinks or how he acts. He's entitled to his opinions...even without your asking. However, you can control your own reactions in these situations. Don't let it get to you. Don't give into his controlling power to affect your daily plans. Just ignore him and let it go.

You also need to let him go emotionally...seriously. Once you're able to admit to yourself that he no longer matters in your life, then you could care less of what he thinks...just as you don't care what those cashiers in the grocery store think of your personal choices in life.

 

[HunterM]

Remember you are an adult and are in control of your own life. You can let people/things in. You can also let people/things out. Empower yourself to live a FUN and fulfilled life.