Veteran comes out as gay in obituary, can now ‘forever rest in peace’

[jjonn3]

I saw this in the news today - a man who in his obituary finally came out to the world as gay.

I found the article both sweet and sad at the same time.


https://www.yahoo.com/news/veteran-comes-gay-obituary-now-173150167.html

 

[rareboy]

Very sad actually.

 

[LeicsDom]

As someone who, despite growing up in the 60's, never had to actually come out I feel so sad for the people, then and now, who don't feel they can live their lives as they should

 

[MusicMan321]

I guess that's one way to tell anyone if you aren't comfortable after you die in the obituary

 

[backagain]

It seems sad to me that he could only feel comfortable coming out after he died.
He lived 2 separate lives that never crossed paths. I do wonder why he felt that way... was it
family, religious beliefs, the social upbringing that he grew up under or the expectations of others?

 

[jjonn3]

I do wonder why he felt that way... was it
family, religious beliefs, the social upbringing that he grew up under or the expectations of others?

Probably a mixture of all of the above.

 

[me203]

As for why he stayed closeted, there were two aspects I saw in his obituary. #1: the sense of the era he must have been born in. He'd have been an adult before being gay was no longer considered a psychological problem. #2: I searched for the church mentioned, which looks like it is Catholic.

 

[NotHardUp1]

It is a curiosity, but not sure what else it is.

Maybe the article will be read by someone younger who needs to make the decision to be authentic.

Maybe the reader was will be an older man who needs to come out while he is a person and not wormwood.

Maybe the reader will be a heterosexual who is among the cultural groups who still shame gays and work to block us or stigmatize us, and he will repent.

But, the majority of readers are likely just to see the man as lacking courage, and for decades. His deathbed confession is likely to be regarded right up there with someone who SHOULD have been a better father, SHOULD have fought segregation, SHOULD have supported the E.R.A., or SHOULD have defended the nation when needed but got a deferral instead.

We all have some form of cowardice, whether about going into those weeds where snakes could be, or speaking out when it can cost us acceptance by the majority. When we choose to be silent, we are endorsing the bigotry and hiding among the bigots.

Not a sentimental point.