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Virgin practice?

SugarPill

SugarPill

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Hi all. So I have the opportunity to lose my virginity in the near future, but I don't want to let the guy know I still have my vcard. Would you recommend I practice with dildos/butt plugs for oral/anal so I don't seem totally inexperienced/tight/etc.?

I know some of you are going to skip answering the question and just advise me to tell the guy, so I'll pose it this way -- would you recommend 'practicing' like this to virgins in general?

And no, you're not going to convince me to be upfront about it. It's not a serious relationship, and I just want to get my first time out of the way without it being a big deal.

Thanks!
 
I never practiced before the first time, other than with just a few fingers and such. You just have to remember to relax before and during the initial penetration. Once the active party gets going, then you can start to get into it pretty well. Just be forewarned, it's rare that a top can't tell you're a virgin. ;o)
 
They'll probably know, but if you insist on not telling, just try to not be really nervous and tense. That's the easiest indicator and it makes for really bad sex.
 
Over in the Health & Well-being forum, there's a sticky called "All About Ass" that talks about a lot of the issues around being an inexperienced bottom and how to work with butt plugs to retrain your ass to accept incoming traffic instead of the usual outgoing stuff.

And I know you don't want to hear it... but at least tell the guy that you "don't bottom for many guys" or don't bottom often. Otherwise, this guy could be jackhammering your ass like an over-caffeinated rabbit, completely oblivious that you're not used to being pounded that way.

There are plenty of guys who have bad first time experienced bottoming who think it's horrible- not realizing that the issue is not that they're a bad bottom, but instead the issue is that there's a lot of bad tops out there. At least make sure he knows to be gentle.
 
heh, my first time i didnt tell him and so i told him while we were uh, in the swing of things. he thought it was really hot, so it may actually even be a benefit to tell him :-D

but as for practice, as long as you just relax and let things through you should be fine.
 
Some guys are damn near impenetrable. If I were you, I'd a least try it once with a small Dildo to see how it goes.

And what they said. Pretending you're experienced is like pretending you're straight--there's a huge variability in believability. :)

Good luck!
 
I'd appreciate it if they guy was honest about it with me. That way I know to take things more slow and make sure to double check on how your doing. Some guys don't give a dam and it's all about them. I sure hope that is not the type of guy you have chosen to meet. Would def. be a terrible first experience.

As for your question. I would get a smaller toy. Start with a finger or two. get lubed up and a little loose. Then move onto the toy. When I first started bottoming I would use the toy first. I'd tell the guy that it helped get me ready. All of them found it hot and helped slide it in and play around a bit. Just make it part of the process.

Be careful and have fun. I hope things go well. Let us know how it went.
 
Thanks guys for the advice! I feel lucky to know of a site like this :-)
 
Actually mate... I'm going to buck the trend and ask you something.

Are you the kind of person who actually wants to feel a connection with the guy before you have sex with him?

Sounds like a silly question but trust me its important.

While using toys in the privacy of your own home in your own time and your own pace is one thing, sex is a live, dynamic ride (literally!)

Feeling safe, relaxed, comfortable and trusting in the presence of a guy will play a far bigger role than simply the mechanics of your backside. You already know that it can handle some largish objects, thats its job.

But doing that when you want it to is a different story.

By all means practice... it will help familiarize you with the feeling of being penetrated.

But dont ignore the mental aspect of what your about to do... Be true to what you want, what you believe, make sure you are comfortable and that your guy is the guy you want to do this with.

Then mate, almost certainly it will come naturally.
 
Tallguy makes a good point. I don't think much of random hookups myself. I need to have a connection with someone.

Don't be in too big a hurry just to "get it over with".

Besides.... you are still young. What's the rush?

Whatever you decide.. I wish you the best.
 
@tallguy - That is an interesting question. I would say normally, yes, I would want to have a deeper connection than just something physical. But does it have to be like that for this one time? I don't think so. It's not like this one act will define my character for the rest of my life, ya know?

@audiotech - The rush is just a personal preference. You're right, I'm only in my early 20s, but that's relatively old to have never had sex with anyone. I remember reading a statistic that 90something percent of people have lost their virginity by the age of 20 (Kara - I know there's plenty of room for error, but still). I've had the chance in the past but it didn't feel right, and now, I'm ready for it.

Obviously losing my vcard is important to me, otherwise I wouldn't have posted this thread or spent all this time thinking about it, but it's not important to me in the way it is for a lot of people (needs to be love, etc.). It's important because it's holding me back and not good for my self-esteem, and it's not something I want to burden a future partner with.
 
SugarPill said:
(Kara - I know there's plenty of room for error, but still). I've had the chance in the past but it didn't feel right, and now, I'm ready for it.
Click to expand...

The only thing more overrated than "virginity" is "losing it".

Over the years, I've known a lot of guys and girls who were in a hurry to just get it over with and get the deed done. Like it's getting a drivers license. Or graduating from high school. Or getting a tooth pulled.

Sometimes I wish that we were all as obsessed with healthy relationships and good sex.
 
I'm going to buck the bucking of the trend.

Virginity is only as mystical and important as you make it. So many guys both top and bottom apply all kinds of things to it, some tops like the whole untouched territory thing - some bottoms are expecting it to be moonbeams and unicorns and some kind of deep soul connection.

OK, whatever floats your boat, but even for those guys, your first time can be really awkward and painful. So by all means practice, figure your own body out, who knows, you may not turn out to be a bottom. Knowing your own body and what pushes your buttons makes you a better lover.

I also think that once you're not a virgin anymore, you should play around a bit before you jump into anything, experience also makes you a better lover, and moonbeams and unicorns, and deep soul connections will take care of themselves.
 
dude - are you sure the guy you're doing it with is also not a virgin. lol. you don't tell him, he doesn't tell you - two sexual athletes meeting on the field of lust. things go the way they usually do the first time you try anything - which is to say, not at all as expected. but instead of laughing it away like two friends who like and trust each other, each simmers in silent embarrassment, wondering if it's something wrong with him.

hmmm. did that sound like a true story?
 
KaraBulut said:
Over in the Health & Well-being forum, there's a sticky called "All About Ass" that talks about a lot of the issues around being an inexperienced bottom and how to work with butt plugs to retrain your ass to accept incoming traffic instead of the usual outgoing stuff.

And I know you don't want to hear it... but at least tell the guy that you "don't bottom for many guys" or don't bottom often. Otherwise, this guy could be jackhammering your ass like an over-caffeinated rabbit, completely oblivious that you're not used to being pounded that way.

There are plenty of guys who have bad first time experienced bottoming who think it's horrible- not realizing that the issue is not that they're a bad bottom, but instead the issue is that there's a lot of bad tops out there. At least make sure he knows to be gentle.
Click to expand...

What he said.

I wore a butt plug a couple of hours a day for several days to train my ass to accept a cock. It helped tremendously. My first time bottoming was WONDERFUL!
 
Am I stupid in thinking virginity is hot? I'm still a virgin and it never crossed my mind to hide it.
 
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