We Can Spot One...

[The_Reaper]

Well, that was an interesting (if not awkward) conversation with my best friend and one of his room mates.

After I had broken the news of Neil Patrick Harris coming out, these bunch of straight guys refused to believe it.

The conversation evolved to the point where comments like:

"I never even thought he was gay."

Were made.

Eventually, the conservation made it's way to:

"I can tell if someone's gay though. I told a kid in high school before he even knew, a year later he came out." (Friend's room mate)

"Yeah, it's pretty easy to tell who is and isn't." (best friend).


Needless to say, I couldn't help but have a little laugh in my head. Here are these two guys, who think they can spot every single gay guy who walks by. And yet, there's one sitting no more than 2 meters away and YET they have no clue.

That should be interesting when I finally break the news....

 

[Kulindahr]

I can't wait!

I get annoyed when straight guys think they can tell, and actually can some of the time, because I can't tell at all.

 

[Leidian]

I had a similar conversation with one of my former best friends (we didn't have a fallout, she just moved away). She was giving me the latest from the gossip mill and it happened to include that one of our mutual friends came out. She said to me, "I always knew he was gay. I have AMAZING gaydar. I always know." I wanted to slap her in the face with a rainbow flag. In high school, at the height of our friendship, I "wasn't" gay...but I certainly am now and she's clueless. Some gaydar.

 

[_AJ_]

why dident you just say it then it seems like the perfect opportunity to just blurt it out

 

[luminum]

I find it kind of audacious when people assert their ability to tell or expect that I should be able to.

But I always answer with what I feel.

 

[trawler69]

I think it's quite funny and at least they weren't making homophobic comments. It would have been a good time to come out with you all having a friendly conversation on the subject. Still there will always be another time, somebody else famous will probably come out next week and I'm sure you will read it on here first!

 

[NedNickerson]

Sometimes it helps to have one of these...

...just for backup.

 

[Leidian]

Why didn't you just say it then? It seems like the perfect opportunity to just blurt it out.

Excellent question. I wish I had solid answer. I guess I just got scared to because of the way she was talking about that other guy. It just made me feel like it wasn't acceptable to her, like it was listed with a bad hair cut or unfortunate fashion sense as something to be made fun of. I know deep down that she wouldn't care if I was gay, she just didn't like that guy and took a cue from society that him being gay makes him defective. Still, knowing she can act that way about someone else isn't comforting. Also, I'm not sure I was ready at the time - it wasn't really a question of me not knowing I was gay, but *no one* else did.

Now I'd kill for another opportunity like that to tell her. It's ironic how once I decided to seize opportunities like that they stopped happening. It seems so awkward to have to bring it up out of nowhere. "Hey! Did you see that movie you were talking about is coming to town? Oh, and I like cock."

 

[cocktales]

I've found that straight women are pretty keen on telling who's gay and who's NOT....

I think it's probably because they could care less; and even like it 'cause you're NOT trying to get into their pants!

I would like to see the expression on their faces when you "come-out" to them and tell them how wrong their Gaydar was! lol

I know before I came out, I use to hear the same kind of drivel; but just smirked at them knowingly.....

Sad asses that they are!

 

[randyreese]

Ned: Thanks for the great video - laughed myself gay. Haven't seen one that good in a long time.

 

[Theyoungman]

stereotypes... They will learn.

 

[The_Reaper]

why dident you just say it then it seems like the perfect opportunity to just blurt it out

In all honesty, I barely know my friend's room-mates and I'd prefer not to have them know as well.

MY friend, however, does know a gay guy who I sort of know...And he does have some admiration for him being so open about who he is. So, I think things will go well when I tell my friend.

However, I do know that two of my friend's room-mates are pretty much anti-gay.

The one, who was present during the conversation, is to the point where he can't even stand sitting beside another guy on a couch. (As put proven by another room-mate who likes toying with him.) And has made "ewww" noises when ever somethign gay happens on tv. (Ex. "American Dad" when Stan finds out about Gay Republicans and ends up kissing another guy.)

Another of the room-mates has expressed the "that's wrong" opinion, and I believe he said "un-natural"...But he knows better than to say that around the gay guy they know, (only because he currently holds a black belt in karate).

So, I'm not saying anything when his room-mates are around...Which they always are. So, it's best to wait for a time where I can sit him down privately and let him know.

It's on my to-do list...

 

[tonyboy]

Good luck to you Reaper.
I know it's a tough thing to do, letting yourself be known.... sounds like you've got a good buddy in your roomie. Sorry about your roommates buddies though man.... imagine a guy that is so uncomfortable that he cannot sit next to a guy on a sofa without getting all weird. Could be that guy is a closet case.

Often a guy that has homosexual leanings, even if he may not be gay, gets very intimidated with any close contact with another guy.

Some of us are tough to spot, as you seem to be. On the other hand, I've met a few guys over the years that I would have figured to be 100% gay. Although they may have had a few 'feminine' characteristics they were not gay at all.

This 'gaydar' thing is highly subjective. I doubt that any person can be accuarte 100% of the time. Some people give off signals that one person may be able to pick up while all the other people in the room wouldn't have a clue.

 

[rotary]

It's on my to-do list...

Make a bet with all of them. Perhaps along the lines of "I'll bet each of you $20 that you're not able to tell if someone standing beside you is gay." It would be a quick sixty bucks.