Weekend full of partying leads to...

[The Big Shot]

... some possible drama.

So this past weekend, I met this cute guy named Trevor and we hit it off really well. We hung out all Friday, then when Saturday rolled around, we went to the club and he brought his friend who we'll call Jim. Jim is 18, (me and Trevor are 20) and cute as hell. Now going into this, Trevor had told me that he had a crush on Jim. We all got pretty drunk but I still remember what happened that night. I told him I'd help him find out if Jim was bi, or gay, or straight (even though I myself, am not out, and I feel really bad about that considering what I did) and I went to find out.

Jim was sitting outside the club so I went up to him and sat behind him and asked him if it made him feel uncomfortable, he said no. I rubbed his chest a little bit and asked if that made him feel uncomfortable, he said no. I asked him that if I told him he was cute as hell, would he feel uncomfortable. Same answer. So I took it one step further and asked if he had ever kissed a guy, and he turned around and kissed me. Good kisser, not what I had expected, but that's besides the point. After we stopped kissing, I told him that while I thought he was cute as can be, Trevor has a major league crush on him. Jim felt the same way, apparently. But he said he thought I was hot.

So in a strange, ironic twist, the three of us found each other all hot. I chuckled.

We ended up hanging out the rest of the night before Trevor took me home (he hadn't had but a beer or two). Before I got out of the car, I got Jim's phone number. When I got in the house, in a drunken stupor, I texted them both and told them I had a lot of fun and then proceeded to fall asleep with quickness. I woke up, saw that both of them had texted me back. I responded to both, but only Trevor texted back. Long story short, it remained that way. On Sunday Night, I hung out at Trevor's house and we messed around a bit and I stayed the night and no response from Jim. On Monday afternoon, Trevor was driving me home and told me how Jim was acting that day. Apparently after dropping me off, Trevor gave him a bit of a hand job, but didn't get him off or anything. Then Jim left early in the morning and while they hung out Sunday afternoon, Jim apparently seemed indifferent.

I texted Jim after I got home and asked him if he felt okay, if he was uncomfortable or anything like that because making him feel uncomfortable wasn't my goal. But despite that, he still didn't respond.

So at this point, I am still a closeted bisexual who tried to help out a new friend(s), but one of which may feel uncomfortable about the whole thing and the other one not only likes Jim, but likes me as well! And I'm not gonna lie, I like him too. But Jim is cute and I like him too, but that can easily be stuffed. I'm more concerned that he's mentally okay after all three of us making out and such in a drunken rage the other night.

What are my choices here?

 

[josher]

What does "the three of us making out and such in a drunken rage" mean?

Did all three of you make out with each other at the same time? You didn't mention that when you described the night's activities.

Scenario #1: Jim opened up to you and made himself vulnerable by making out with you, and then you rejected him, but for a good reason: your friend Trevor. Jim may be mad about that and doesn't want to pursue anything with you.

Scenario #2: Jim realized you were right about Trevor liking him, is pursuing that and so doesn't want to endanger that by being too friendly with you.

Scenario #3: Jim's keeping his options open.

He answered your first text. Maybe he just didn't feel the need to keep up the conversation.

And as I'm sure someone else here is bound to tell you: you need to ask Trevor and Jim what's going on, not us.

Call them and talk to them or better yet meet up with them individually in person and talk to them.

 

[The Big Shot]

Yeah, just realized I didn't specify too clearly. The night we all hung out, we all ended up making out together as strange as that sounds. It makes me sound like a giant whore, lol.

But yeah, I have talked to Trevor about it and he is as confused as I am about Jim's actions since this all went down. Granted, it's only been a couple of days, but still. Also I didn't exactly reject him so much as I was trying not to overpower him in front of Trevor. Yeah, I found Jim extremely hot but Trevor is the one who actually has a crush on him. I mean, I did make out with him afterwards multiple times, including with Trevor.

I just wanted to vent a little bit. I don't want to feel like I'm the cause of anyone's demeanor slipping or anything like that. I also don't want to text him over and over again because that sends the whole "crazy stalker" vibe and I've had that happen to me. It sucks, so I am just waiting I guess.

 

[josher]

Thanks for the clarification.

One final thought. Jim may just be embarrassed about the whole incident, even if he doesn't want to admit it. Many closeted/gay-curious guys wind up fooling around with another guy, sober up and then pretend it never happened.

 

[The Big Shot]

Possibly.

I just don't want the situation to turn ugly for numerous reasons. Not only is he only 18 and confused, he's not like a long term friend that I've known forever so I don't wanna be the guy who made him even more confused than he already was.

But aside from that, I enjoyed hanging out with them and want to continue to do so and I don't want that strained relationship feeling.

 

[landers]

If Jim isn't out yet, and if this was one of Jim's first experiences then he's probably really confused right now. What he needs right now is some time to himself to work through what happened and after that a friend that isn't going to try to get into his pants.

 

[PieRules]

No party foul there. Let Jim get back to you when he wants to. It sounds like he's dealing with some issues he needs to sort out first.

 

[The Big Shot]

and after that a friend that isn't going to try to get into his pants.

I'm not necessarily trying to get into his pants, but I'm sure that's the vibe that my thread has given. Yeah, he's cute as hell and I enjoyed making out with him but I am looking at the bigger picture and getting in his pants isn't the bigger picture.