weird situation

[ivyguy24]

in a very weird situation.

My college is divided by a house system. We have student advisors in the houses, I think most schools call them RA's though. So I applied to be a student advisor, which would be really cool since I think it would be a cool job and it would allow me to graduate completely debt-free, since I'd receive free room and totally free meal plan, plus a $1000 stipend.

Problem is, I got my job offer last week. My position is 5 floors up from the only guy I've ever had a hookup with who is currently working in the building (I don't think hookup is really the right word...we're friends, both bi and not out, and just messed around once, making out and oral. We were friends then, and friends now, but not particularly close)

For one, I never expected to be coworkers....I purposely didn't express any interest at all in being placed in his building. And, he also asked me the other day if I was interested in meeting him again (sexually), but that was before he knew I was placed in his building. I told him I wasn't really sure where I wanted things to go, last time was fun, but I'm not a big fan of the whole "fuck buddy" idea. But I left things kind of open ended....he is attractive, and a nice guy, and sex is always nice. But to be honest the first time we met, afterwards the friendship was really weird, and I don't know if I want to do that again. Especially if we're working the same building and have to work together on things.

So now he's my coworker if I accept the position, which I can't really pass up....

anybody ever been in an awkward situation like this, how did you deal with it?

 

[VICTORIADON]

I have not been in the same spot.

It is never a good idea to see someone you are working with, however, you met him and have had sex before this all came about.

If I were you, I would follow it up if you are really attracted to him and the feelings may be mutual. You may have met a bf and bay be on your way to a relationship, who knows, follow it if you like him. If things start getting "weird" back off.

You have no idea how fortunate you are to be in this situtuation.

 

[KennyD]

What are the chances of you two becoming really involved as in : RELATIONSHIP ?

 

[star-warrior]

Are you afraid of a relationship, or uncomfortable because what passed between you before is getting in the way?

The job is good, and being debt free is what you should be looking at. Talking to the guy to resolve your personal issues should be a priority. Set the boundaries, and have the presence of mind to keep to them, by mutual agreement.

Otherwise, it will be on your mind, and plague the decisions you make. Good luck.

 

[luminum]

I have not been in that position, but if he's a nice, rational, guy, he should be able to take your reasoning that you're into the whole fuck buddy thing quite well. Tell him you tried it, it was nice, but that fuck buddy stuff just isn't your thing and that you just want to be friends. Plenty of people have worked together in a college setting and the fooling around they did once doesn't get in the way.

Just be honest and cool about it and friendly and work towards a decent friendship that helps with the job.

 

[ivyguy24]

cool, I talked to him yesterday.

He's equally surprised that I'm his building.

I also let him know that I'm not into sex outside of relationships, it can be fun, but kind of empty at the same time.

To answer kenny D:

We'll be seeing a lot of eachother, so maybe something will happen, but I can't really tell now. However, he's secretive to the point of annoyance....when we were at his place a while ago, before we left he literally glanced out the peekhole of his door to make sure no one was passing by in the hall. Wheras I don't anounce the fact I'm bi to people, a couple of my close friends know, and if someone happens to find out...its ok. I just consider it a personal thing that I don't make a big deal out of. He just doesn't seem very comfortable with himself, which would be a problem, otherwise I could see something working....so maybe things will develop that way, he seems to just be looking for sex because I think a relationship would make him uncomfortable.

 

[JackFTwist]

take the job
take the job
take the job


whatever happens in life happens - adjusting to being around people you've had sex with is not that big of a deal

it is just another part of life

 

[ivyguy24]

don't worry, I am taking it.

I couldn't pass it up, I was just looking for advice on how to make the situation a little less awkward. But, things seem ok now...so its all good.

 

[spreadeagle]

As a student advisor surely one of your responsibilities would be to analyse problems that individual students face, research, and then present them with alternative solutions. Clearly the college board think you have the ability to do this or they wouldn't have offered you the position. I suggest you apply these abilities to the problem you now face.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Ivyguy,

Mate if you are as honest open and truthful with the guys in your charge you'll do just fine!

The way you handled this situation was spot on. You told him the truth about him, how your felt and your values. Spot on.

I understand your need to ask the question you did but I hope the outcome gives you the confidence to go into your new position knowing that you've got what it takes to handle some of the situations you're going to encounter.

Bravo mate!