what’s everyone’s advice on where to go/ how to find a fuck buddy?

[dolphingunblade]

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this. If not could a mod please move to correct place.

K so basically what’s everyone’s advice on where to go/ how to find a fuck buddy?

I’ve tried threw cregs list but theirs mostly just meet and screw postings, I’ve tried advertising the situation I want but so far no answers.

I’ve tried the meet and screw and it didn’t work for me I got to nervous to perform and couldn’t get/stay hard long enough to do anything, and after I got nauseated for at least a week from the nerves alone, so I’ve decided that a better scenario if for me to try ease into the situation by finding a mutual friend who I can have sex with when we know each other long enough to where I don’t get to nervous to do anything.

So I figured I’m probably better off looking for someone who is sensitive/patient and willing to be gentle when I need them to be not just some power top, so I though finding someone who is sub may be a good start for me, even though I think of myself or at least picture myself as mostly a bottom.

My problem is I don’t know anyone who is gay or bi so my only option is to find a way to advertise my proposal but I have no idea where to start.

Um there are a few gay bars and a bathhouse but there in town mostly in Waikiki and I don’t have a license and live with parents to getting around is kind of hard.

 

[mbamike]

Yelp! I had a fuck buddy for about three months last year. I found him on Manhunt.

My current buddy I found on Adam4Adam.

Good luck

 

[hylas]

between your nerves and your complete lack of gay friends, i see a lot of issues here that need to be dealt with... and i assume youre still very young, and closeted. im not sure wether youre supposed to be fucking around just yet.

but for what its worth... i usually sleep with guys i either met on a dating site (i use planet romeo) or picked up at a club. some of those encounters stay one-night stands, some peter out after a few dates... and some guys stick around, becoming good friends and even lovers.

i think its best to not look for something too specific, but to just look for somebody you can have a good time with, whatever that means for you both. keep the communication honest and open, to avoid misunderstandings and heartbreak. if you are very nervous and/or inexperinced, you need to be clear about that. if you dont want sex on the first date, you need to be clear about that, too. some are going to like the idea of gently introducing a pup to the world of gay sex; some will loose interest because they prefere somebody more experienced or/and with less strings attached.

 

[theplayerking]

x-cess is right. Advertising for a fuck buddy is a fool's errand. In most cases, a fuck buddy is a hook up who becomes a repeat who becomes a regular. It's best when it happens naturally.

I would suggest advertising for very low-key hook ups, e.g., only cuddling and JO. That will (1) get you used to being with a guy, (2) tend to attract other low-key types who are looking to explore and (3) possibly lead to something more.

Finding a real fuck-buddy is a rare and beautiful thing. It's as difficult as finding a boyfriend, in my experience.

 

[youngnihilist]

Fuck buddy is kind of an oxymoron. One time or casual occasional flings are easier. I think the only proper way to have a fuck buddy is to have more than one at a time. If you just have one guy you're fucking all the time, feelings are bound to get involved, and lines blurred.

 

[dolphingunblade]

well i signed up for both sites, but thers like only 4 people im my area, everyone else in in honolulu and i dont have a license cus thers no spare car for me (god i hate town) so i dont think ill get any contacts soon, but who knows mybe ill get lucky and find something close to what im looking for.

well anyways thanks for the sugestions

 

[slnattak]

just keep trying and meeting guys, you will fail and be dissapointed more than you get it right. Keep trying till there's mutual affection/attraction and you both want to fuck each other's brains out. Who knows, you may even fall in love.

You're not going to make everything better in one grand gesture all at once, and most likely you're not going to make a relationship work out by your first go at it. Life is challenging and hard. You just have to keep your head in the game until stuff is working for you.

 

[slnattak]

well i signed up for both sites, but thers like only 4 people im my area, everyone else in in honolulu and i dont have a license cus thers no spare car for me (god i hate town)

I don't have a license either but I do know other gay boys with cars and they didn't mind picking me up, really. In any relationship we cover up each other's weak points. You should try and get your license and work on getting a life that's more realistic, but in any good relationship people complement each other. When you want to make something happen in life, honey, it just takes a lot of work and effort and consistency. You have to get off the fantasy gay porn and video games and internet life and force yourself to be realistic if you want things to change.

I wish you the best. Be real, be yourself, and be kind and open/honest with guys and they will want to meet you, and wouldn't mind helping you out in life. But you have to meet people halfway. They want to be your boyfriend and equal partner. not your mother.