What are your sex bloopers?

[landers]

We've all had them happen, you're messing around with a guy and something happens and the sex doesn't. Maybe you rolled off the bed and gave yourself a concussion, maybe your next door neighbour walked in on you. Whatever it was, as long as it's funny post it here. I'll start.

One night a friend and I went out to a bar, got pretty drunk, wound back at his place and started fooling around. I started to suck him off when his dog, who is very possessive of his bones and somewhat blind, thought I had stolen one of his bones ...and lunged for my friend's dick, biting it and trying to yank it away from me. My friend and I both yelled at the dog and he let go but not before some superficial damage was done. Things were a little awkward between us for a while after that.

 

[12fear99]

Wow, what a story. One night my friend and I were making out kissing, licking and sucking each other as we stripped each. We were getting it on so much. I was on top of him and was sliding my cock inside his tight ass and his girlfriend came home and caught us. She started hitting him with a pillow and yelling at him. I got up a got my pants on real fast and left. She was still hitting him with the pillow.

I lated found out from him that she left and few minutes after me. That was so embarrassing. But the funny thing was that she came back about an hour later and had sex with him. (She knew he was bi). That was the first time I had ever had anyone walk in on me having sex.

 

[Homoerectus]

I thought I had completely recovered from intestinal flu symptoms. I had been 3 days without diarrhea. My fb and I had hooked up. He was plowing my ass really hard. He mentioned how smooth my ass felt. When he finished and pulled out, I had shit all over him and the bed.

 

[cyclops35]

Once while spending the night with a Fuck buddy, we were having some fun on the bed an while he was playing with my hole pulling his finger in and out. I farted pretty loudly.

 

[xXblatinoXx]

I thought I had completely recovered from intestinal flu symptoms. I had been 3 days without diarrhea. My fb and I had hooked up. He was plowing my ass really hard. He mentioned how smooth my ass felt. When he finished and pulled out, I had shit all over him and the bed.

Oh MAN!! That one certainly takes 1st prize. lol

 

[Xclusve]

Well,me and my boyfriend we hot and heavy, kissing and everything, when it was time for me to mount him, he made a small fart, i wanted to laugh so much but it would of embarrassed him, so i held my laugh in and changed it to a moan, regardless i gave him a few humps but pulled out. And i said i had a long day and could not fuk him, fear of maybe he might have bowel movements when i intensely fuk him

 

[Rex]

I thought I had completely recovered from intestinal flu symptoms. I had been 3 days without diarrhea. My fb and I had hooked up. He was plowing my ass really hard. He mentioned how smooth my ass felt. When he finished and pulled out, I had shit all over him and the bed.

That's completely disgusting.