what can i do...

[toywifme]

okay, i'm not really sure abt my orientation eventho it states bisexual. i'm quite confused actually. i feel d same way towards some guys n girls, but i'm not really sure WHO i like.

a friend of mine actually came out n told us he's bi. he's d type who has pride up to his nose n he wont care what other ppl think abt him, dats sumthing i like abt him, but he's too proud. if i open up now, he'll just say dat i'm just copying him n trying to get attention. n besides, my friends wont accept me just like how they accepted him, i'm not dat close to them anymore after a few incidents which almost exposed me. they wont like me being gay. i'm catholic, most of my close friends are catholic, and i'm afraid dat i'll lose them if i open up directly.

so here's my problem, i want to tell them i'm bi/gay without waving a flag in their direction. i want sumthing subtle that i can show to them abt my orientation. what can i wear/do to send the message across?

i just read sumthing abt wearing a ring on d thumb so i'll give dat a try. please guys, i want to feel comfortable arnd them, but if i open up, i'll probably lose them. my friends mean alot to me. i want them to get the hints without asking me awkward questions.

p/s: please answer the one in orange, thanks

 

[WYSIWYG]

Firstly, if they are your true friends and care about your happiness, they will support you if you tell them your bi/gay.

Some Catholics will not listen to any 'reason', about someone being bi/gay even when I was taught in that religion that we are all made in Gods image!!!! Catholics are more homophbic and biggetted than other religions!

A ring or an earing would probably help them, but most people are not observant enough to 'see' what your wearing!

You could also tell your friends individually in private about who you are also.

 

[gotdimples77]

My advice would be to stop using "n" for "and" and "dat" for "that". ok..sorry...just kidding. 1st if they are your friends they will deal....the thing is if they are real friends they already know the really important things about you...being gay doesnt change any of that. I know i felt like i had lied to everyone when i was coming out but most if not all of my friends were like we are a little sad you didnt feel liek you could tell us but it doesnt change who we think you are" and 2nd if your friends are educated catholics they will be fine with it...if they are zombie catholics who cares? lol j/k again...ahem anyway...i like to point out the fact that "...DAvid loved Jonathan more than any woman..." (I think its from 2kings) who wants to hang out with narrow minded bigots anyway?

 

[toywifme]

thanks for the advice, but i'm not entirely sure whether i should do it or not.

like i said, a friend of mine exposed that he's bi, n he's a catholic too. they accepted him as he is. to them, i am always the odd one out.
i am always the one who gets left out from conversations, the one who dont get invited for outings and the one who people make fun of.

the dont treat me equally as they treat him, i guess i'm always expected to be blamed for everything. my whole life is upside down, i cant talk to anyone, this problem is ruining my social life, i feel kinda awkward when i'm around my friends nowadays.

how did you guys tell your friends about your orientation?

 

[confusedboy23]

Take your time to figure out who you are. It won't happen overnight, trust me. You don't owe it to anyone to announce your orientation. That's your business only and no one else's. I can understand how you feel about wanting to tell your close friends, and it sucks when you can't do it. I'm in the same boat. I guess it would all come down to your priorities. If you think your friends will react negatively and you know you don't want to lose them, then maybe keeping it to yourself for now is the best way to go. But if you're thinking you can live without them if they decided to show their true colors, then go ahead and let it off your chest. Anyhow, I think labels like gay, bi and whatever else is just labels. Don't worry too much about them.

 

[toywifme]

thanks for your advice guys! i really appreciate it.

when did you guys open up to your friends? how was their reaction?

if i'm opening up, i need to be prepared for what's coming.

 

[G-Lexington]

There's nothing wrong with not knowing where you are, especially at your age. You don't have to carve your sexual identity ("GAY") into stone now. Just tell them the truth. You're not exactly sure where you are, sexually, so you're taking time to figure it all out.

I didn't start realizing I might be gay until I was 20, and didn't come out until I was 22. (I'm kinda slow on the uptake.) Number of friends lost: zero. Everyone was supportive and fantastic about the whole thing. But then again, we were all young adults by that point.

Lex

 

[chrisdobro]

get a rainbow button and pin it to your school bag. They won't ask but those who need to know will figure it out. If they do ask, well then talk about it. Ring is also good if you like rings.

I personally chose to have a button on my school bag. It's detached from me but still mine and I feel that I'm not in your face with it but if someone is to spend time with me they'll get it. Some guys wear pride tshirts, hats, necklaces, or dresses, but I chose not to.

 

[M4P]

It would be easier to answer this question if we know how old you and your friends are

thanks for your advice guys! i really appreciate it.

when did you guys open up to your friends? how was their reaction?

if i'm opening up, i need to be prepared for what's coming.

 

[toywifme]

thanks for all your advice guys.

btw, i'm 18. friends are the same age too.

i'm not really sure if i would be accepted by my friends or not, i'm like the odd one out. in malaysia, most of them are homophobic, which makes it kinda hard for me to be 'myself'.

 

[carcdm]

ah that's soooo Malaysia. It's true, the fact that's it's sooo pathetic to live here in malaysia with all the homophobic people around.

and me? of course having the same damn problem like you.

for you guys who dont live in Malaysia, yo have no idea how you can lose your friends just in a blink of an eye after they found out that you suck dick. I'd say.. immediately! They're so homophobic, especially the muslims.


And for me to get the message accross, I piece my ears few years before I have to remove them back as I enrolled in the local university. I also wear rings on the thumb, I put rainbow flag in my blog, put a "People Like Us" in my signatures, and carry my rainbow badge around.

I will not open up directly, but with the 'signs' I've given, now most of my friend know that I'm gay, or at least they think so.

Good luck with yours.