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What do you consider cheating

A

atomicare

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Im in a relationship, but still like to give bj to other guys. My bf even said off cuff, bj's arnt really sex. Do you think its cheating?
 
atomicare said:
Im in a relationship, but still like to give bj to other guys. My bf even said off cuff, bj's arnt really sex. Do you think its cheating?
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sounds like Bill Clinton ;)

you and your partner/bf should decide what is out of bounds for you

if my bf is blowing other people, i want to know before he does it

i can than decide if i'm ok with that - personally i'm not

but i have friends who have an open relationship - and extracurriculars are ok

they just set specific rules
 
If you are doing anything physical with another guy it is cheating. However it really depends on what you and your man have for ground rules. I am absolutely in love with my man, but he has no sex drive (related to a medical condition). As long as I am in bed with him at the end of the day and do not bring anything home, then all is fair. That is just us however.
 
If your partner says no, and you agreed, yes it's cheating. Cheating is a violation of trust.

If he said no, and you said, I'm going to do it anyway, I have to wonder why you're in this relationship, since obviously random cock is more important to you than his feelings. If this is the case, I'd leave you.
 
Depends on boundaries you've set in the relationship.
IMO, physical contact with another is cheating.
 
loki81 said:
any intimate physical contact with someone else or steps to initiate said contact while in a mutually-acknowledged exclusive relationship.

if I were in a monogamous relationship with someone, I would 100% consider blowjobs cheating.
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I couldn't have said it better myself.
 
My personal feeling is that it is cheating. Some relationships work where you can set those ground rules as to what is and what isnt cheating, but that doesn't work for me. Then again, I don't think a guy is my boyfriend because we went on one date. Just be clear, upfront, and ALWAYS ALWAYS honest BEFORE anything happens.

The way I see it though, "ok, blowjobs aren't really sex" could easily lead to "yeah, we fucked, but, I wasn't emotionally connected, so it really isn't cheating."
 
Personally, I wouldn't want my bf messing with anyone else but me & vice versa. But--if your boyfriend is okay with you giving bj to other guys then that's okay for your relationship.
 
Ninja108 said:
Depends on boundaries you've set in the relationship.
IMO, physical contact with another is cheating.
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I think there have been a lot of great responses to the OP but I think this is the best one. Only you and your partner can define what you guys think cheating is.

Personally I think cheating is any physical contact with another person. But I also think that there is an emotional form of cheating; where someone develops an emotional connection to someone that is not their spouse that is much deeper than friendship. Know what I mean?
 
It's not cheating unless you get caught.

I know that this is a somewhat controversial statement, but there are some of us (myself included) who feel, and act this way. It's not for everybody though.
 
Basically hiding an emotional connection you're made with another. That's cheating.

As for the physical stuff, it's what one friend once said to me, "heck, it was just a blowjob, that's like shaking hands". :-)
 
reone said:
This :). Any intimate physical contact.

Not getting caught doesn't mean you didn't cheat. You still cheated...you just didn't get caught.

Stabbing someone and not going to jail for it doesn't mean you didn't stab them. You stabbed them and didn't get caught >_>.
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I think cheating is a little different than stabbing someone. If the other person never finds out, then the act doesn't have consequences. I'm assuming someone who cheats often has made peace with themselves over the action or never cared in the first place.

If someone gets stabbed the action happens directly to the victim, so there is no way of hiding it.
 
Cheating is a particular state of mind. If a person decides that it's not cheating unless they get caught, and they don't get caught, then it's not cheating to them. To other people, yes maybe, but not them.
 
loki81 said:
I hope you use protection with your wife and get tested on a regular basis :(

if you feel like you have to hide a relationship from your significant other, it's cheating imo
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Monogamous until single.
 
So your bf said off the cuff that blow jobs aren't sex, so you blow guys based upon that remark without telling your bf. That's cheating.

I don't get the notion that bj's aren't sex. I can think of nothing more intimate than being eye level with a bare penis and opening my mouth and tasting, smelling and sucking it. I'm getting precum in my mouth and may get cum as well. I find it more intimate than someone humping my butt with a condom wrapped penis. If blow jobs are nothing more than handshakes, we all ought to be giving and getting more.
 
reone said:
The point still remains. Not being punished/caught for an action doesn't mean that you didn't commit it :rolleyes:.
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True. However, I think you made a poor comparison and if you aren't punished for cheating and don't care about the fact that you are having sex with someone besides your significant other and your significant other doesn't find out, it's basically a moot point.

I don't feel this way. I'm simply arguing for that position.

JustJuice said:
It's not cheating unless you get caught.

I know that this is a somewhat controversial statement, but there are some of us (myself included) who feel, and act this way. It's not for everybody though.
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JustJuice said:
Monogamous until single.
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So you are monogamous and sleeping with other people?
 
altlover85 said:
I think cheating is a little different than stabbing someone. If the other person never finds out, then the act doesn't have consequences. I'm assuming someone who cheats often has made peace with themselves over the action or never cared in the first place.

If someone gets stabbed the action happens directly to the victim, so there is no way of hiding it.
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So the action is not cheating now, but could get to be cheating tomorrow, when your partner finds out? Kinda ridiculous. Ok, forget stab. What about stealing - someone takes your money. But you didn't find out, so you haven't been robbed?


Anyway, I think that asking yourself if it's cheating is just kind of argueing with your conscience, i.e. you know it's not right but you want to find an excuse. I always listen to the "not right" voice.
 
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