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What Do you Do When Guys Mention Girls?

erobert

erobert

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What do you do when guys mention hot girls around you? Do you drop slight hints? Say nothing? Or "play" along?

I never know what to say when my friends say things like "she's hot." Are these times good time to come out? They must not know if they're pointing out hot girls but wouldn't they pick up on your be silent about girls?
 
this is a good point erobert, and one I have often pondered on. It really depends I suppose on where U are. I mean it is up to you to decide when coming out is appropriate. However at the end of the day just because you are gay doesn't mean you can't read the menu. A gay guy can still appreciate that a chick is hot, without wanting to order the meal! So it is still appropriate imo for a gay guy to appreciate that a chick is hot without feeling he is compromising himself. I mean straight guys know what a good looking guy is without wanting to fxxk him don't they? But this can also be a good opportunity to come out IF you think it is appropriate for YOU.
 
Well, I'm out to all my friends, so they're well aware what team I'm on. It's pretty rare for my friends to ogle girls in my presence, but when they do, I'll try to play along. "Well, I liked her outfit, and I don't think I'd kick her brother out of bed for eating crackers." They usually laugh at that, and the conversation moves along.

Lex
 
Yeah, when straight guys I hang out with mention girls they know I'm gay, and so there's not really any problem.
 
i always changed the subject right away or pretend i didnt hear them. it sounded sooo fake if i tried to play along & it made it painfully clear that i was gay/hiding something. & it made me feel so awkward..<< that was b4 i came out<< now i just say something nice to keep the conversation rolling
 
I'm not out (yet!) but I still can tell when a chick is hot.

"Damn, that girl is hot!'
"Yeah man. Talk to her!"
 
I love looking at girls (Well, hot one's) just as much as any straight guy. So not an issue for me. Just wouldn't jump in bed with em. To me, a nice ass bears a look, no matter who's wearing it. ..|
 
And for those who may be missing the point...this sort of thing is a big reason to come out. Because there is no awkwardness, or "what-do-I-say-to-keep-them-from-finding-out", or faking it. You just say what's on your mind, and everybody's cool with it. No stress. :)

Lex
 
sometimes friends will do these things to test you if your suspicious...if that is the case they are usually going to be okay with knowing your gay
 
/\ That's also what I've been thinking too. They could be trying to feel me out. The topic usually comes out of the blue in one on one conversations and I'm like, "where did that come from?"

Sometimes new friends will mention something about girls late in the getting to know you process- like a couple weeks after we start hanging out. I just kind of give them a look that asks"is this a test?"

Over thinking this probably. Next time it happens I'll mention something to let them know where I stand. I have a feeling people are more intuitive than we realize and may be looking for confirmation. Who knows, some of these friends could be bi and might be looking for someone safe to come out to.
 
Why not play along? Its not like your blind. You can tell if someone is considered hot or not. I'm not completely out to all my friends, but even the ones that I am out to will make a comment if they think a girl/woman is hot and I'll either say I agree or disagree. Hell, there have even been a few times where one has asked is she hot enough for me to try for the other team.

You should only come out when your ready to, not just because they are salivating over a hot girl. If your comfortable and ready to tell them do it. If you feel that particular time is appropriate go for it. I'm sure others will agree here that when your out, and that situation comes up things are less awkward.
 
at this point, I pretty much always make a gay comment - "yeah, she'd be hotter if she had a dick." or "go talk to her and get her brother's number." if they're really good friends I'll bring up menstrual blood, cellulite or anything I can think of to gross them out and make them wish they were sucking cock instead.
 
I hate the notion that being gay means you cant find girls attractive and that your totally repulsed by pussy. I know plenty of gay guys who think girls are hot. They just dont want to fuck them. I'm not straight and I think girls can be hot.

Girls who are not gay make comments on other girls looks all the time.

And I know for a fact straight guys notice good looking guys. They just dont say anything.

The bottom line is you just needa get comfortable with your own sexuality and not worry about what straight guys are gonna think or things are gonna sound.
 
"Yeah, you go distract her while I go after the guy she's with".
 
I just assume that they know Im gay, which they dont.

You could call it playing along, but i wouldnt call it that. i will give my honest opinion and if it seems gay then so be it, they will stop talking about girls around me.
 
I can admire the beauty of a women. I know when a woman is beautiful, I'm not blind like someone said. I just don't know what to say exactly because sometimes it's so sudden and throws me off. I guess there's a little frustration mixed in to of not being able to find someone.

black hole sun, those comments probably also threw off some potentially good closeted bi and gay guys too.

When a guy starts talking raunchy about girls around me I think, "Dammit! He's probably straight." I put them in the friend category and I'm looking for someone else but thankfully you found someone.

But those kind of comments can backfire and leave you lonely to those who try this.
 
I used to just sorta laugh with everyone if they made jokes and not really say much. Now that everyone knows, I just smile and either wait until they stop talking about girls, change the subject, or sarcastically say how (excessively) attracted I am to whoever they are talking about.

A friend told me that since I told him I was gay and while most of our other friends didn't know, he'd always try and change the subject because he knew I had no reason to contribute. Good guy.
 
I'm not out to EVERYONE (most of my friends / my mother knows) but I don't lie about it and say HELL YEAH SHES HOT! I just stay quiet or laugh.
 
erobert said:
I have a feeling people are more intuitive than we realize and may be looking for confirmation. Who knows, some of these friends could be bi and might be looking for someone safe to come out to.
Click to expand...
You're a wise man, erobert.

I'd just say, "I don't know about her, but her boyfriend's gorgeous!"

All this talk about "gay guys can appreciate a hot woman as much as a straight guy" is mere pablum. When you say a guy is hot, you're not saying he's handsome--you're saying you want to fuck him. Big difference!
 
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