What do you think?

[Lucas07]

I have this very good friend, I knew him for years,
I don't know if we're close or what... maybe pretty close. But I know him well, and he knows me well too, we have fun, and I pretty much like him. We're both are really masculine and don't show signs of anything that we may be interested in the same sex. We see each other frequently.

We talk, sometimes i don't know if he's flirting, but sometimes, he just cuddles up to me even though there's a lot of space around. Like half of his body touches mine (overlapping), or his knees touch my legs, his elbows touch my thigh, he makes his hair touch my skin stuff like that. When he looks at me too, Its different in a way, but I don't know maybe it's just my mind playing.

Well there's something there's something that happened recently that left me shocked!
I don't know what to think that's why I'm posting here. I need to know your opinions so please help me.

So here's what happened.
I have this group of friends who don't know anything about me and my preference for both sexes (bi lol). And my good friend has his group of friends too.

So my friend just suddenly got excited and all perky (you know girls) and she was like hiding something but you know, how people show it, but they tell you there's nothing. She was like sugar high or something after speaking to a close friend of my friend (who i like).

So at times she goes like "Hey, you know what... Oh nothing" and laughs it off. So she finally gave up and told me. First she asked me... Have you ever wondered why my friend isn't dating anyone, pursuing a girl? Then She told me that my good friend buddy "likes" me. So yeah, I was quite excited. I was happy actually hahahha. But I acted like, no way. But yeah, He's my friend and I treasure that. I kept asking, are you serious... she said, yes i am! I asked her her source, and told me my friend told his friend (the one that told my friend). Haha sorry the terms are confusing. And keeps saying that I'll thank her one day for telling me that. WHAT?!? (in my mind i was hoping it's really the case) I was stunned. What does that mean?

So I don't know if that friend of my good friend knows that I like him or sensed it and told my friend that possibly I like the person. But I do not know how i could have shown it since I don't want to disclose my preference just yet. And he's my friend, I didn't want to scare him off. I treasured our status as friends and I just hoped that he liked me back.. So now, I'm confused. I don't know if he's interested in me too. Is he bi/gay or just have a chance that he's interested in guys.

What do you guys think? Are they just playing me just to reveal my preference? Are they already having presumptions about me? Or is it all true?!? I need to know!! Help me! This is all out of the blue! What do you think???

I need your opinions please.

 

[Lucas07]

No one? And yeah, I've noticed that he's hiding from me in IM. He's always online but for the past few days he's been hiding. I don't know this is driving me nuts! I just can't read him.

I'm getting this feeling I'm beeing played around. Help me guys.

 

[Christopher123]

Wow. A situation that would definitely drive me up the wall. Can we say no more fingernails???

I really don't know what I'd do. Because on one hand I'd want to know for sure, but on the other hand I wouldn't want to make a wrong move or say something stupid and then end up losing him as a friend.

I think (and this is just my personal opinion) that I'd let it be for now. I don't think I'd want to risk losing his friendship over something that may or may not be fabricated. I mean, it's hard to tell if he's hiding because he's playing a game or he's just embarrassed that your other friend told you that he likes you.

I'm a little confused, though... did your friend (the one you suspect likes you) actually TELL someone himself that he likes you?

 

[trawler69]

Lucas I kind of got lost in the friends of my friend's friend talking to the friend of my friend's friend ETC. I hope I am right in thinking that he has been more toucy friendly than might be considered normal and that and that he has told someone he fancies you and this has somehow got passed on to you. If you don't want to out yourself to him you could tell him in a friendly conversation, that you have heard rumors that he likes you, whilst reassuring him that you be flattered if he did. This confirms to him, if he is Gay, that you are cool with it, and if he isn't you have not outed yourself, just shown that you are not a homophobe.

If these people are real friends then it is most probably true. If it isn't it means it is a mean plot to out you and I wouldn't regard them as friends. At least this way you come out as the good guy either way.

Hope this helps let us know how you get on.

 

[Christopher123]

If you don't want to out yourself to him you could tell him in a friendly conversation, that you have heard rumors that he likes you, whilst reassuring him that you be flattered if he did. This confirms to him, if he is Gay, that you are cool with it, and if he isn't you have not outed yourself, just shown that you are not a homophobe.

Excellent advice, that's what I was thinking. That's why I asked him if this friend actually told someone that he liked him. If so, then I'd go ahead and confront him and ask him if it's true or not. And, of course, assure him that it's cool either way.

 

[trawler69]

Thanks Christopher123.
Lucas, I also suspect that your friend is hiding because he is embarrassed as he knows that someone has told you. He may well be fearfull of your reaction. You are probably both in the same situation IE. not knowing what to do next. I think you should be brave and make the first move as suggested above if you are happy with it. If not tell us your concerns or clarrify the situation and be assured we will do our best with whatever advice we can offer.

 

[Eagle653]

I think this situation is begging to be laid out on the table with some honesty, sensitivity and maturity. The guy is almost certainly gay, and thanks to the busy-body mutual friend, he either knows or knows you know and doesn't know what to think...all the while you don't know who knows what.

What a drama/mess. You could, without even knowing it, be on the verge of losing several friends accidently here--all based on assumptions, rumors, and unknowns. A lot is at stake. It's time to take your friend out for a burger or pizza and level with him and clear the air and get your feelings out on the table. I suspect you have more in common than you think. If it leads to something, great. If it doesn't, that'll be fine too but at least you'd both know where each other stands.

I realize that this would require you to come out to him. But, if there's any chance of having a meaningful relationship anyway, that would be necessary.

Good luck. I hope you let us know what happens!

 

[Lucas07]

First, Thank you for those who gave their thoughts.

Okay, to clear things up.

Friend I like --- told friend A (his friend) --- A told friend S (my friend) ---> S told me all about it.
he doesn't know a clue about this whole mess!

I'm torn.
This is such a mess thanks to the people involved (the people who told)
What's their effin problem. I mean c'mon. What's the motive?
It's either their just too talkative or what... my friend who told me is actually known for spilling secrets.. so.. I don't know. I'm just so confused because I don't trust them just yet. And He (my friend I like) Doesn't know any of this (naturally). So I feel bad for him too since bad word is spreading about his name.

And she keeps telling me to trust her on this. I mean... What's up with that? What's her probable motive? And she told me that her source was like a close friend of his that he told but apparently isn't really a great friend (i know he only knew her for a short time) because she told someone else that's why it reached me. This is so messy. I hate this.
I really feel like I'm being manipulated or something. The girl looks like to be having fun, or at least she's like really into the romance and trying to bring us together or something.

I really didn't expect this. But I hate the girl who told me. Apparently she wasn't thinking! It's really an insensitive move. I actually told her that what she did wasn't smart. I mean he's a good friend of mine of like 8 years or so... although i want him to like me as well, but since I'm not outing, and I think this is proper, isn't it just wrong to say something like that to a friendship she doesn't even know much about? I feel like I've over reacted thus revealing my liking for him more, but then again, even if I didn't like him, as a good friend, she was stupid. She doesn't even know my good friend. I don't know who I consider "real" friends as I've only known them for a few months. And here it becomes messy... This girl had a huge crush on me before that almost she's like courting me (I mean c'mon) i liked her before in a way, but thank god I didn't make a move, i don't like her at all as I knew her more. Like now.

I'm really confused. I've liked this guy for so long but my plan was just to play along. Just be friends... Slowly, if it's really mutual, I believe, things would just fall into place. Until this came along.

And this actually touches my thought... What if he's actually straight and he found my "friendship" to be something gay. And he told people that I'm like this and that hence the mess. I don't know. But I don't see it in his character. But then again, he's so unpredictable even if I know him really well. Things like that happen.. we just spill the beans sometimes. I keep thinking scenarios and stuff, maybe I'm overdoing it.

I just don't know what to believe in right now...
I feel like he's hiding from me in a way. Which I hate. I just can't read him from the first day we met! He has always been on/off and pretty vague. Is he just that too scared? Or maybe trying to repel his feelings if there are any?

At one time we met, he brought up a conversation about cars... and he told me my plate that even I don't know by heart.. but he knew! Even I don't know his plate and I liked him. Is it a sign that people memorize your car's plate? I mean, I won't care to know or memorize my other friend's car plates. Or is he just into cars that much? I'm getting paranoid!

What do you think guys? What should I do? I'm really confused about the whole motive. It really worries me as it may produce bad repercussions. Do you think it's possible he really likes me? But why doesn't he show me? I get this feeling like he doesn't want to talk to me... It's just mixed messages!

Does he even like me? I really want to know... If it's all true... I'd make a move.

And yeah, tomorrow the girl who told me said she was going to tell me everything tomorrow.. I hope I can trust her word and whatever that's coming out of her mouth. I'll update.

Help guys. And again, I really appreciate everyone who spent some time for advice and thoughts. I really appreciate it. Thanks

 

[Christopher123]

And yeah, tomorrow the girl who told me said she was going to tell me everything tomorrow.. I hope I can trust her word and whatever that's coming out of her mouth. I'll update.

Tomorrow? Why the hell doesn't she just tell you NOW?

You know what? She needs to get a life and stop playing with your head. It's immature and downright cruel to be playing with you like this. And I'd personally tell her to fuck off and not talk to me anymore. And from what I'm gathering, this friend of yours doesn't even know what's going on. So why would he have reason to hide? Are you sure he's hiding? Or is this normal behavior for him and given the situation you're just looking at it a little differently now? You're seeing it as him avoiding you when maybe he isn't at all.

Tell Miss I'm-Having-So-Much-Fun-Fucking-With-Your-Head to piss off. If she's got something to say, say it now or kiss your ass. People like that really piss me off, when they do shit like this for their own gratification and they don't care who it hurts

Oh, and this is for you

 

[Soilwork]

man, I'm so glad I out grew all that noise.

If the guy really likes you and you really like him.. ask him out.

If they're just playing you, then they're not really your friends.

If you'd just freaking tell them you're gay (or whatever) then all of this highschool nonsense would be over and done with.

And yes, I agree with Christopher.

Tell Miss I'm-a-pathetic-loser-and-habitual-gossip-with-no-life-of-my-own to mind her own fucking business. I can't stand girls or guys who think that it's their job to tell everyone what's what. There was a guy here who came out recently, and his sister decided that it was her duty to tell everyone about his being gay before he had a chance to really be used to the idea of people knowing.

People like that need a crazy glue enema on both ends.

 

[Christopher123]

People like that need a crazy glue enema on both ends.

Amen to that

 

[Lucas07]

Thanks guys! Really appreciate it. As my first post, thanks for all those who spent time to reply. Thanks for the advice..

Hahahhaha
I'll soon find out!
Yeah I hate her. Really immature and stupid. I feel like I'm in highschool surrounded by stupid bored people who have no lives. And she's like teasing me about the whole thing through text messages. I mean... WHAT THE F*CK?? Is she crazy?? And what i fear, with her mouth-defects, bad tendencies of speaking shit, she got all these female friends (you know how girls are!!) I fear it's gonna spread like wildfire.

Yeah... She's really not a true friend just because of this. I should distance myself from such people... I've made a wrong choice in the first place anyway. But I guess I can't avoid that it takes a while to know people. So I guess I finally knew the real her.

With his hiding... Well, in IM he's not online anymore.. even before this whole thing like 3 days before I think. Usually he's always online every night and that's when we usually get to talk the most too. So I don't know. Only in IM. But in person he seems to be as nice as ever. He'd be the one greeting me from a distance, waving at me, saying my name over and over again. He'd text message me if he sees my car passing by and stuff like that.. I mean. What's the big deal. And it's not a computer or internet problem for sure. I'll see...

Haha I'll see what happens tomorrow. If I sense that it's useless shit.. I guess I'll tell her she lost my trust... possibly my friendship.

Maybe she's just jealous because I hang out with this guy and talk to him well. And she's got this boyfriend who's gay anyway but she's completely clueless. I really think he's just using her for cover. Lol. But yeah.. She does have some issues if all of this is just a plot.

But do you guys have possibly any idea what she means by "trusting" her about the whole thing and in the end I'm going to thank her for all these? I'm clueless! Any assumptions? And I can't tell just yet if I should believe her... After all we've had good times and I've done so much good things for her... Unless she;s really evil and decides to just mess around. So I want to hear your theories. It's killing me!!

But in the end.. I'm hoping it's all true

 

[Christopher123]

And what i fear, with her mouth-defects, bad tendencies of speaking shit, she got all these female friends (you know how girls are!!) I fear it's gonna spread like wildfire.

Ohhhhhh gawd. You know what? If she's really that big of a blabbermouth, be prepared to deal with some shit.

But do you guys have possibly any idea what she means by "trusting" her about the whole thing and in the end I'm going to thank her for all these? I'm clueless! Any assumptions? And I can't tell just yet if I should believe her...

I would wait. I mean, what choice do you have? She's apparently going to MAKE you wait. But you know something, if she's going around saying this stuff to other people about you and/or your friend, I don't really think she knows the kind of damage she can do. Seriously. Think about it.

I hope it all turns out good but I always get bad feelings about situations like these, especially when you've got some dumb bitch playing with your head and GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE, haha! I've got something to tell youuuuuuu! But you'll have to wait until tomoooooorrrrroowwwww! But once I tell you you're gonna thank meeee because I'm so great at butting into everybody's lives and fucking shit up in the process of trying to make things nice because I'm a nosey busy-bodyyyy!!!!!!!! GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE

~ugh~

<---- that's for her, not you.

 

[screwnutty]

I won't wait for the bullsh*it from her. I just ask him. Seriously pull him aside and in private tell him you like him. It's that easy. He'll either say yes or no. I would never rely on waiting for the middleman to do it. Cause you know what middlemen do right? They jack up the price before they deliver it to you the consumer and they tend to get info mixed up. So go right to the source and skip the middleman!

just my 2 cents!

 

[Jeimuzu]

I agree with Screw... in fact, that was what I was gonna suggest.

Also, if you're worried about how to tell him, you could do it the same way I came out for the first time; E-Mail. That way, you can say everything you need to say without interruption, and it's a lot easier. You just write it, and once it's there, and it only takes an instant of decisiveness to send, rather than the few seconds it'd take to tell him to his face.

Go for it, though. Don't wait. Just do it, and you won't regret it.

 

[Christopher123]

I wouldn't wait, either. The only thing is he's said that this guy apparently doesn't even know this is going on. So what I'd do is just say, "Hey, so & so is saying this and that so I wanted to talk to you about it to see what you think," or something along those lines.

 

[billybob109]

i think you should talk to your friend of the other friend. then find out if that friend like his friend who likes you...

 

[Christopher123]

This is getting confusing by the minute, lol.

Oh, and just to clarify, my "dumb bitch" comment was NOT a personal attack on all females. Just the ones that are shit-stirrers. If it were a guy I probably would have said "dumb bastard "

Just wanted to make that clear. I have the utmost respect for most women. Male or female, if you pull that kind of dumb crap, ya need to be smacked upside the head. In my personal opinion.

Lucas, I agree with a few of the others, just talk to your friend, the one you like. You don't have to come right out and tell him you're interested in him. Just tell him you heard that so & so said this and that. I certainly wouldn't want to steer you wrong, but be aware that if you do go to him, it's possible he might freak out a little bit. Then again maybe he'll just laugh it off.... errrr, at least you hope

Please let us know what happens.

 

[Roland00]

Lucas I kind of got lost in the friends of my friend's friend talking to the friend of my friend's friend ETC. I hope I am right in thinking that he has been more toucy friendly than might be considered normal and that and that he has told someone he fancies you and this has somehow got passed on to you. If you don't want to out yourself to him you could tell him in a friendly conversation, that you have heard rumors that he likes you, whilst reassuring him that you be flattered if he did. This confirms to him, if he is Gay, that you are cool with it, and if he isn't you have not outed yourself, just shown that you are not a homophobe.

It also gives the friend the oppurtunity to lie, for he is scared and nervous. In such a situation closeted guys lie for it feels like a spotlight is on them.

It is ironic for if they just told the truth, they would be happy.

------

My advice for you is to tell him that you are bi, and don't mention the whole friend mess. (In fact try to forget about the whole friend mess, forget about that women) If you do so, and the "spotlight" isn't on him, he will probally tell about himself then. You will know then.

If he is a real friend he won't have a problem with you being bi. I remember telling my best friend about me less than a year ago. A close friend which I have had about 8 years. One I was afraid of losing. Well when I told him, my mind instantly went to what we do every friday night. Our activies had grown apart in college, so every friday we would just grab a pizza, alone, at a restarunt and catch up. As soon as I told him about me, I was afraid he would instantly assume those meetings were dates. (Hell no they weren't, he is definately not my type.) For 15 seconds I got really, really scared.

And guess what he did, he shrugged it off and he said he is still my friend, and it hasn't been an issue sense.

------

Good Luck, he probally likes you, but I doubt you are going to find out more unless you ask him or tell him about yourself. If you don't want to you don't have to, but I doubt your questions are gong to disapear.

 

[scottie]

I agree with Christopher123.

Hope it all works out for you.