What do you think?

[KaraBulut]

Welcome to JUB and congrats on your first post.

You are at a crossroads. You have some inkling that you are gay or bisexual. Certainly, the evidence is there.

But someone who has attraction to men usually comes to a decision point where they want to go out and try dating, making out and eventually having sex with a guy.

You seem to have something holding you back.

The thing with taking that step and experimenting with a guy is that you really have to be ready for the possibility that you are gay.

Are you ready?

 

[Georgiadude]

Hi Break, Welcome to JUB. This really is a great place to hang out, learn and have fun. People from all over the world are members. I've made some great friends on this site.

I read your first post a couple of times and I'm happy that you are able to recognize those feelings and accept them. So many people are in denial, ignore those thoughts/feelings and try to suppress them. I truly thought I was bi. It took being married for me to figure out I am gay. Your being able to accept the possibility of being bi or gay so easily is a big part of the battle. I think your still in the process of trying figure out whether you are gay or bi. I wouldn't come out completely just yet. Once that door is open and you come out it's impossible to go back in. Don't get me wrong. It's a wonderful thing to be out and not have to hide but along with it comes judgemental idiots, homophobes and labels. If you would determine later on that you are bi you may run into some difficulties. While I dont think we should live our lives based on what others think the reality of life is we still care what people think of and say about us. Give it just a little more time. Figure things out, maybe date a bit and see if this really is right for you. If it is, come out the way you want. Some people open the door and take baby steps, some fly out scraming from a megaphone. You will know which is best for you, your family and friends.

I wouldn't do the "just have sex with a guy and you will know thing." I had a lot of sex with my ex wife and I was able to perform and even enjoyed most of it. Being gay is so much more than sex. Sex is a big part of any relationship but it isn't the only aspect. Your body doesn't care if it's a man or woman sucking your dick. It responds to the sensations. Being gay is more about the people you have in your life, the relationships you have with those people and the way you live your life. Not just sex. Please feel free to pm if you want. I will give an open, honest answer.

Ok, I've rambled on enough. That's just my thoughts on the topic. You decide what will work best in your life. Again, welcome. Keep hanging out here. I know you will have a good time.

 

[KaraBulut]

Anyway i'm planning on going out to a club soon and hopefully things will become a little bit clearer, but thanks again KaraBulut

I'm not a big fan of meeting people in the clubs. Clubs are a great place to go with your friends and have a good time but maybe not the best place for guys who are new to the scene.

Since you already have at least one friend who is gay, why don't you start by meeting some of their friends?

 

[stripes]

i don't think you should gauge your sexuality on the success of a hook up or even a relationship. it's not a reflection of whether or not you're attracted to guys. you could end up hooking up with someone who's totally wrong for you and that wouldn't mean you don't like the cock, just that that particular cock wasn't the right fit

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm gonna disagree with your friend. You don't need to have sex with a guy to make sure you're gay. I was sure I was gay before I hooked up with a guy. It did take a while to convince myself of the fact, but I didn't need the actual act to solidify the position.

What I usually suggest people is just try it on for size. Look in the mirror in the morning and say "I'm gay". Then, live the day like you were gay. And no, that doesn't mean kick your voice up an octave, or act bitchy. Just feel free to look at guys if you want. Look at as much gay porn as you want. Or, better, skip the gay porn and just fantasize. And go whole hog into it. Turn your fantasies up to 11, go nuts with them, and post-orgasm, don't feel any shame about whatever you fantasized about. Just sit there with cum running down your hands and dick (and anywhere else), and a stupid grin on your face, and feel good about it.

Lex

 

[backpacker]

I wouldn't worry too much about labels at this point. The important thing is that you recognize your attraction to men and don't try to deny it. You don't need to hook up with a guy to know your attractions. Often sex for the first time is awkward and not really that good. What if that happens with you. Would that make you straight? I don't think so.

Some guys are truly bisexual with strong attractions to both sexes. Other guys have been socially programmed to believe they should be attracted to women and therefore believe they have a real attraction. Guys often don't know until they have explored same sex relationships for some time. As I said before, don't worry too much about labels.

I would say you should date some guys. Not as an experiment, but because they are what you are attracted to. There are many ways to meet guys, such as bars, online dating, gay groups, through friends, etc. You need to pick the method that is most appropriate to you. They each have pluses and minuses. Good luck!

 

[gameboy 11]

If you watch gay porn and like it you aren't straight. End of story.

But I think you should give a guy a go. hehe.

 

[asian87]

Think about this. Do I want to spend my life with a girl or a boy?

Shall yield the answer.

 

[Stitch627]

very interesting thread
i'm somehow in the same situation and i think the responses you guys made are great

 

[rainman256]

I think there's been a lot of good advice that's been given here. I was questioning the same stuff: I like gay porn, but I could also watch straight porn and like it? Growing up, I never knew there was a middle ground. Most everywhere people try to make sexuality black and white: you're either gay or straight. Well, that's not always the case. They might mean well trying to fit you into this category or that category -- but sexuality isn't black and white (look at the Kinsey scale). When I found out that I wasn't alone in my feelings (that I'm attracted to both sexes) that was a huge relief, and very encouraging knowing that other people were struggling with the same things.

It's cool that you're on your way to accepting your sexuality (regardless what it is...and it doesn't really matter at this point). But I don't think you need to have sex to determine what you're sexuality is. I haven't had sex with a guy, but I know I'm bisexual. (ooh..let the controversial and opinionated posts start hehe).

I guess the secondary point I wanted to get across was to also let you know that you are not alone and this is a great place to find help and encouragement

 

[screwnutty]

Breakaway,

You don't have to have sex with a guy to know that your gay, just like you dont have to have sex with a girl to know that your straight. Take it slow and give it time for you feelings to sink in. This isn't a race. There is no bonus for coming out asap. If you diehard set on going to clubs, then do it to have fun. Do it to get use to the environment. Don't do it to find a guy to fuck. With a little time and patience you soon be able to determine for yourself what you are. Gay, Bi or Straight. Just relax and don't be in such a rush!