what happens now...

[Gooey45]

In this crazy life I've had i went from thinking im straight to thinking im gay accepting it and now after just one date with a guy. I dont know if it was him or me i dont know. I haven't even felt horny for anything. And last night i fantasized about having sex with a woman.Im so lost im practicly a virgin. And i feel like im too old to go after a girl my age ill just be ridiculed.I dont know what to do. My heart and my mind dont seem to be working together.


Has this ever happened to anyone of you? Like is a drastic change in me where before I always liked to look at gay porn and i got very aroused . Now the past few days i look at it and for some reason its not working as well. I have to make myself hard .

I need therapy soon i think cuz im going crazy trying to just push myself out there and i keep pulling myself back in.

 

[Romantico]

I can't speak for everyone, but for me this is so normal. I went through the exact same thing as you. No, your not crazy. Just bisexual. Exactly a year ago I was so into a guy I thought we'd end up spending the rest of our lives together. Even though I knew I was bisexual, I was willing to give my life to this guy. It was love. We had great sex, we connected emotionally,we had everything in common, everything was fine. Then, things went south. He came from a family who was very homophobic. He strated out dating girls but then decided his feelings were stronger for guys. He was way to concerned what others thought. He wanted everyone in his family to be proud of him. I thought I'd be wise and give him some space. I figured he needed time to think things over and the last thing I wanted to do was smother him. I later found out this was the worst thing I could do. Not sure if he felt I turned my back on him or if he thought he needed to snap out of it,but we stopped seeing each other and it hurt like a mother. Few months later he was dating a girl and they are still together. We have spoken and he claims it was a phase he was going through. Not sure if he's bisexual or a closet gay guy. I hate labels, so it doesn't matter. Although, I know when we were together there was nothing even close to him being heterosexual. I think down deep he is gay and not ready to come out. I also think he'll put his family and their happiness first over his own, which in my opinion is tragic.

For me, I am with a woman who I think I may be in love with. Its only been 5 months and she came out of nowhere. I wasn't looking for anyone. Even today I still think of him and miss him, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who is that confused. I'm there if he needs advice and a friend,but I won't let him hurt me again,even though I know he didn't mean to. My GF knows about me and my bisexuality. I made it an effort to tell her early on and I think it was a wise move for me. She accepts me for who I am and is very curious about my sexuality, which I find hot. Its so weird when you spend 5 months with a girl and se her as a quiet shy nice girl and discover once you start sleeping with her she is a wild animal. She surprised me and I think that kind of surprise in any relationship is always a good thing.

So,it sounds like your pretty normal to me. Even though I'm with a woman, I still look at gay porn and straight porn and get off on both. I still look at naked guys and get horny. I also get hard when I see naked women.My GF loves guys kissing and I have shown her some gay porn and she thinks its pretty hot.I hope every bisexual guy who wants to meet a lover they are wild about meets someone like my lover. This may happen to you. My advice is, just let the cards fall where they may and for God's sake don't overthink it. Do what YOU feel is right. Who YOU fall in love and sleep is between YOU and no one else. Don't let ANYONE tell you what you are.

P.S. By the way, you ARE NOT TOO OLD! My GF is alot younger than me and My brother is 38 years old dating a 23 year old and they've been going hot and strong for over 2 years now. Age is just a number and to many its a limit. Don't fall into the age game or you'll miss out possibly on the love of your life!

 

[ejbonk]

P.S. By the way, you ARE NOT TOO OLD! My GF is alot younger than me and My brother is 38 years old dating a 23 year old and they've been going hot and strong for over 2 years now. Age is just a number and to many its a limit. Don't fall into the age game or you'll miss out possibly on the love of your life!

Age means nothing. I'm 10 years younger than my wife. And my last Boyfriend was 20 years younger than me. At 43,That's something.

 

[lovecrazedkid]

Very cool advice and story Romantico

 

[Eternaldarkness]

yes, happened to me too when I first dated a guy for the first time. The urge of horniness completely goes away. For the whole first month I simply didn't even checked into JUB or any other pornographic sites, gay porn or straight porn, I was completely uninterested.

Then I even developed this problem where I cannot ejaculate. Even when we're having sex, I just keep losing my erection and was completely uninterested. I mean, he did everything to keep me aroused..even deepthroating, etc. etc. but I would just not cum.

Then I found out I'm just worrying myself too much. It was a dramatic change in my life and I had just taken it too seriously. That created a lot of anxiety.

An advice is for you to stop thinking too much about anything. Just let it flow. What ever happens, happens.

Curiousity kills the cat, we always try to get things we've never had or experienced.

 

[conrad]

ETERNALDARKNESS, I hear you saying that you went after sex and you found yourself unable to function as you had hoped. Perhaps you were going after things backwards. Take it from me, I'm pretty old, there are wonderful surprises on the journey into the fulness of your sexuality. When I was fifteen I thought of myself as a pretty ordinary fellow and so did my male classmate. We were fortunate that we bonded as good friends, Then we became more than friends and the way in which we expressed our regard for each other became more and more intimately physical. When we finally reached the point of sexual contact it all seemed the most natural and right way to go. We had the opportunity and the privacy to explore a side of our sexuality which neither of us had ever given much thought to. The sex was our way of confirming the bond between us which had come to be, And, the sex was fantastic and became more so with each repeat. We did not label ourselves as gay, and when we graduated from high school and went our separate ways we both pursued heterosexual relationships eventually; both of us married and have been faithful husband. Yet, we still view our two years as bonded lovers as not only a great experience but a time of learning about ourselves. When we see each ohter, too rarely, we are still aware that that old feeling remains. In our journey into our sexuality we were glad to have been surprised by the wonder of it all--on both sides.

 

[sometimesitbethatway]

I think it seems normal. I go through spurts where I am more attracted to one or the other, or rarely even think of the other sexually. It's strange.