So this story is rather recent, as in this past weekend. And this is the first time I'm sharing it, I haven't been able to talk to the people who know that I am bicurious. It's not that intense, but I do want to get some feedback/advice.
I am down the shore with a bunch of friends and we're staying at a hotel with a whole bunch of other people from my high school for my prom (yes, i'm a senior). The night is winding down, I'm pretty drunk but know full well what I am doing. I was probably one of the least drunk out of the 7 other guys and girl in the room but everyone was already out. Except me. I had been past out already, I think I had a bad drink or mixed weirdly, and 3 in the morning does not register as time to get to sleep. As I'm laying there in the twin bed by myself, my straight friend Antonio walks in the room completely gone. He lays down on the bed next me because it's the only place not taken up by a body. We start talking and he is so pumped up and wants to back out and party. There is a pause in the conversation and I realize he just went completely out of it. I tap him on the shoulder to see if he is ok and he is, he's just tired. But at some point, not really sure when, his leg is intertwined with mine. My mind, heart and penis are racing going through all of the possible scenarios. Please keep in mind, he is a friend of mine but not a good one, we both have a good amount of alcohol in us he moreso than me, and I can't tell how much he is gone.
So I start pushing the boundaries a little. I purposely move around trying to wake him up and then see if he moves his leg. He doesn't. My mind is still going a mile a minute so I try it a couple of more times. Then he does move his leg and I'm like FUCK! I have wanted to give a blowjob for a really long time and not a sensual thing, I want it hottttttt and this situation would have certainly been hot.
But I don't want to give up just yet. I try touching feet and the same kind of things happen, he doesn't move then does a little later. I'm trying my damnedest to send the message "I want to suck you right here, right now" while still giving myself an escape route if he is just too drunk to know what I'm doing and take it out of context, or in context, and punch me in the face. This is a VERY hard line to walk but I'm doing my best.
After a couple more of these (hand to hand, more feet, combinations, some slight rubbing) I make the move for his dick. I pretend to rearrange myself and just slip my hand by his waist. I feel gingerly around the area, trying to find skin. I do and start caressing the area gently enough not to make it obvious. Then I just said "fuck it" and I went for his leg. We were both under the covers, so I couldn't see where on his leg I grabbed. I started moving up and hit his shorts in a ball, or so I thought. I move up a little bit more and there is something in the way and I'm thinking it's his arm because it was in the vacinity. Nope. It was his dick. It was already hard and I just started stroking it on the outside of his shorts and thinking holy crap this is actually happening. Then he turns over and I think I cried a little on the inside because I couldn't get at it without being overly obvious!
I move my hand to his ass, and I know for a fact that he is up while I had only been mostly sure where feeling him up. Then he turns around and says, "Dude, what are you doing." I just act drunk and he asks me why I haven't moved over because there's so much space. So I did, and that was the end of the escapade.
It's so weird though because I know I got him hard, whether or not he was thinking about me during it or not, but I'm almost 100% sure he doesn't know because I talked to him in school today and it wasn't weird at all, even though he might have told some people that I grabbed his ass while "drunk during the night."
Is that bad? I've been thinking about this for such a long time, my mind is fried, so any advice would be helpful
