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What have you learned fro, your last relationship...

Evsann

Evsann

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I learned to only deal with people who are in the same stage of life that you are, mentally and economicly.

I always had to fight hard not to view my ex as a child. Now I doubt that I can avoid it, and at only one year younger too. Oh well, live and learn.

How about you guys.
 
I learned not to develop a relationship with someone who is deeper in the closet than I am ... it is frustrating and causes problems! My new guy is subtlely more out than I am and through him I am learning to better accept myself and be more open :kiss:

Great thread idea Evsann :)
 
I can understand that. I have learned from my last post to double check my spelling because you can't edit the thread starting post.
 
Photos and webcam isn't a good indicator of appearance. Oh, and that sex can be really bloody awkward when you don't both have the same ideas in mind.

He didn't look quite as I expected... it was a bit of a shock :)
 
30 years age difference is *way* too much. Well I was 19... and the relationship is in its 7th year and fading. However, I wish I'd never had made the mistake in the first place.
 
Andross said:
30 years age difference is *way* too much. Well I was 19... and the relationship is in its 7th year and fading. However, I wish I'd never had made the mistake in the first place.
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Its called the 7 Year Itch and may not be due to the age difference. I lot of guys start to wonder "what if ?" around this time.

Also, some things it seems we could put up with forever but forever seems to frequently come to an end after 5 years.
 
I learned to trust my intuition and be a little more analytical. I don't know if those are necessarily good things.
 
I glad that things worked out for you were you ashamed of being Gay or did you just not see it as everyone's buisness? If you were not ashamed, I don't see why your BF took such issue with it.


I have also learned that I need to be up front with my personal issues, because no matter how well I keep them to myself, the other person will be offended that I am not sharing.
 
I learned if there isn't trust you have nothing
 
I learned that if there isn't trust - you have nothing
 
robertac said:
I think the thing that bothered Eric the most were the continual lies I would tell my family and friends where he was concerned. Eric had always been open for most of his adult life, until he met me and he felt I was dragging him back into the closet. He had already been there and didn't want to go back through all the torment again, but in his defense, he was very patient with me considering this went on for almost two years. Besides, whenever we were out in public I know it bothered him when I would introduce him as just some guy friend.......... I could see the hurt in his eyes!

If it wasn't for Eric, I would have still been in my closet struggling with the lie and being my typical lonely tormented self!
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Robertac, this was life with my ex up until over a year ago (I was the "Eric"). I was in the closet, sure (still to some degree but not as much). However, my ex was and still is even deeper than I was. I mean, he is in a profession where it is almost mandatory that he remain very discreet about his private life but nevertheless - our relationship was more of a secret in his life than it was in mine. I know the pain of being introduced as "a friend" ... you feel somehow degraded. And when I have jumped hurdles to stick my foot ever so far out of that closet, my ex was right there yanking me back in. The future was also bleak because it was perfectly clear that our relationship would never see the light of day - ever. Unfortunately, there will never be hope for him to change and that is why he is now my ex. Oh, we're still the best of friends, but with the understanding that we just cannot continue as partners.

I feel like I can breathe now that I am in a new relationship - one that is less restrictive. In this instance, I feel that easing out of the closet slowly is much easier than being pushed back in.
 
i learned to let it go if my gut says let it go. and not let it go if my gut is telling me not to let it go...

my gut is so smrt.
 
I learn that I should love myself more. Oh hell I was tortured by a closet guy. We aren't moving an inch. Perhaps he is straight coz he is gonna marry in next year.

I learned to let go and love myself more. Later when I met him again, I can say I am better than you. Sorry it's jerky, but I was really hurt as he did struct off with the girlfriend in front of me. :grrr:
 
I've learned that if a guy says he loves you, but he loves jacking off to twinks, then most likely he'll be fooling around with twinks in the future and will end up cheating on you with one.
 
To love myself.

Still learning this lesson but I got the first real lesson from that experience
 
I learned that passion can strike at any time and that I'd better try to time it wisely. We started getting deeply involved 3 weeks before our term at college ended, and then we both had to go home for 6 weeks (I live in Chicago, he lives in Kansas City). We weren't officially dating so we decided to put it on hiatus rather than spending the whole time pining for each other.

It seems to be happening again. The day after I got home to Chicago I met a great guy and now I only have 5 weeks to be with him until I have to go back to school (about 3 hours away, so it's not THAT bad).
 
Don't date older men.

Sure they can elevate you to another level but, they are way too controlling and always on some power trip.
 
I learned that its not ok for a guy to want to kiss, have sex, and touch my stomach but also get all freaked out about holding hands when we're in front of his other gay friends. It hurt but it was a valuable lesson.
 
newboy12 said:
Don't date older men.

Sure they can elevate you to another level but, they are way too controlling and always on some power trip.
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can be the other way around.

.....i learnt that personal space is very important within a relationship.
 
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