What is it with me and Straight Jocks?

[attallaborn]

What is it about me? Ok, Im going to lay it all out on the table here because Im a poor college student who cant afford therapy; thus, I’m relying on your expert opinions to provide some answers. Here goes, I’m a straight acting closet case who is straight acting enough to get into a homophobic fraternity in the south but there must be something about me that entices “straight acting meat head jocks” to me. I realize that I am not 100% straight acting but what is it about me that draw these 100% straight guys. Every since I can remember, I’ve always had very straight guys flirting with me, telling me I’m sexy (playfully), playing the stare game, brushing up against me, drunk close contact (hugging, talking real close to my freakin face) etc. What gets me is that I don’t provoke this type of behavior, nor do I entice it. Yes, I think they are hot ass hell but I don’t want to get hurt or caught up in the childish games of believing these jocks are gay. I don’t think im hot shit but I have been told by people about how cute I am and what a great personality I have but Im a negative person and over analyze everything for the worst. So I don’t really think Im all that hot. So why are all these fine dudes always playing the eye game w/ me.

For example, this one guy I currently work with walks around all day calling everything and everyone gay, loves football, has kids & fucks every girl he can but always bumps me, stares at me, gets mad when I don’t pay him any attention, mocks everything I say, etc. To test him (he’s not my type), I feel on his side when he walks by, stare at him like “your fucking hot” and he doesn’t look away, I brush his ass, flick water on him & he wont say anything sometimes I’ll walk buy him & stick my finger in his ear or push his head & call him a bitch or dumb ass (guy stuff) & he’ll eat it up & call me something back or punch me as I walk by. Sometimes I wont bother him all day (he’s not my type) & he’ll get so mad, you can tell. Even worse, sometimes I'll be walking towards him and he'll be trying to look away; I'll look at him untill he makes eye contact and smile at him and he'll blush (lol, im so bad). If I flirt with a girl, hell give her hell when Im not around. I’m very analytical & observant but why this bad ass straight jock and me?

One last example, this one hot ass guy in a rival fraternity of mine is just so hot but very masculine. One day at school he gave me that look but very briefly. Since, he’s done it twice but each time more briefly than the last. Halloween at the bar, I was listening to a great band & I felt someone beside me, it was him & some friends. He wasn’t leaning against me or anything but bumped me just enough for me to get the message, did I. So I leaned over on him & could feel his arm skin, ass (firm) and body. He didn’t move a muscle but kept talking to people on the other side of him. For the next 3 minuets he stood beside me while I brushed, leaned, rubbed my arm against him, bumped his ass like so many times and he stood there like nothing was going on. Any other straight or acting straight guy would have moved due to so much contact with a guy but not him. He didnt even care if his brothers saw, neither did I for my brothers were there too. They finally went to the bar to order a beer & I stayed put on the dance floor. About 15 mins later I saw them across from me & saw him looking at me. I looked right back for awhile but nothing happened. Later, I saw him take a girl home from the bar, see what shit they put me through! I got so many stories about these kinds of things with straight jocks. What is it about me? Am I a raging queen and don’t know it? Or are they testing me?

 

[8tomtoms8]

I think you are probably a pretty cute guy who carries himself well. These jocks probably think you're at least bicurious. I really think a lot of them are too. Most jocks at that age like to work out and show off a little and compare themselves to other guys. They must get a good vibe from you and like the fact that you are checking them out at least somewhat. If you can get one that you feel comfortable with alone sometime, talk to him about jock stuff that he's into; sports, working out, etc. Maybe mention you are thinking about starting to bulk up yourself and you are looking for some advice. Get him to talk about his routine and maybe even ask him to show you some areas on his body he has made some progress on. See how he responds. If he really gets into the discussion, takes his shirt off, etc., you may be able to even discuss other guys you both think have nice bodies. If he is getting into the conversation at this point you may mention you are a little bicurious. See what he says. I don't think he'll freak out on you at this point. Good Luck

 

[AngelFromAbove]

What is it about me? Ok, Im going to lay it all out on the table here because Im a poor college student who cant afford therapy; thus, I’m relying on your expert opinions to provide some answers. Here goes, I’m a straight acting closet case who is straight acting enough to get into a homophobic fraternity in the south but there must be something about me that entices “straight acting meat head jocks” to me. I realize that I am not 100% straight acting but what is it about me that draw these 100% straight guys. Every since I can remember, I’ve always had very straight guys flirting with me, telling me I’m sexy (playfully), playing the stare game, brushing up against me, drunk close contact (hugging, talking real close to my freakin face) etc. What gets me is that I don’t provoke this type of behavior, nor do I entice it. Yes, I think they are hot ass hell but I don’t want to get hurt or caught up in the childish games of believing these jocks are gay. I don’t think im hot shit but I have been told by people about how cute I am and what a great personality I have but Im a negative person and over analyze everything for the worst. So I don’t really think Im all that hot. So why are all these fine dudes always playing the eye game w/ me.

For example, this one guy I currently work with walks around all day calling everything and everyone gay, loves football, has kids & fucks every girl he can but always bumps me, stares at me, gets mad when I don’t pay him any attention, mocks everything I say, etc. To test him (he’s not my type), I feel on his side when he walks by, stare at him like “your fucking hot” and he doesn’t look away, I brush his ass, flick water on him & he wont say anything sometimes I’ll walk buy him & stick my finger in his ear or push his head & call him a bitch or dumb ass (guy stuff) & he’ll eat it up & call me something back or punch me as I walk by. Sometimes I wont bother him all day (he’s not my type) & he’ll get so mad, you can tell. Even worse, sometimes I'll be walking towards him and he'll be trying to look away; I'll look at him untill he makes eye contact and smile at him and he'll blush (lol, im so bad). If I flirt with a girl, hell give her hell when Im not around. I’m very analytical & observant but why this bad ass straight jock and me?

One last example, this one hot ass guy in a rival fraternity of mine is just so hot but very masculine. One day at school he gave me that look but very briefly. Since, he’s done it twice but each time more briefly than the last. Halloween at the bar, I was listening to a great band & I felt someone beside me, it was him & some friends. He wasn’t leaning against me or anything but bumped me just enough for me to get the message, did I. So I leaned over on him & could feel his arm skin, ass (firm) and body. He didn’t move a muscle but kept talking to people on the other side of him. For the next 3 minuets he stood beside me while I brushed, leaned, rubbed my arm against him, bumped his ass like so many times and he stood there like nothing was going on. Any other straight or acting straight guy would have moved due to so much contact with a guy but not him. He didnt even care if his brothers saw, neither did I for my brothers were there too. They finally went to the bar to order a beer & I stayed put on the dance floor. About 15 mins later I saw them across from me & saw him looking at me. I looked right back for awhile but nothing happened. Later, I saw him take a girl home from the bar, see what shit they put me through! I got so many stories about these kinds of things with straight jocks. What is it about me? Am I a raging queen and don’t know it? Or are they testing me?

I understand to a certain degree. While I cannot say that I attract the straight jocks, in most cases, I seem to attract a lot of men who profess to be straight. Some of them are married, some have girlfriends, and some come across as homophobic.

However, I do not flirt with them, make comments about them or their bodies, check them out, etc. They come after me, sometimes aggressively. So, I understand what you are saying to extent.

 

[3nipples]

What you're describing doesn't seem out of the ordinary to me. I suppose it depends somewhat on the cultural context, but the flirting and close body contact is VERY normal between straight Italian men (I'm not Italian, but lived there for many years and all my close male friends are Italian).

 

[SilverRRCloud]

They are almost instinctively puttin' on their moves. And you are apparently responding in kind, so the game goes on and on...

No one is really afraid, since on the surface, you are one of them, and all is done in good humor. Or what these dudes think, good humor may be.

I have little doubt that there is always a degree of curiosity among the super straight jocks, too. Sure, if they want to check this 'gay' thing out, they would rather do it with a 'bro', whom they know is str8 and one of them than with someone who is openly gay.

See, most of these dudes have a somewhat twisted view that, if two str8 men mess together, well, ya know, that's kinda alright. If at at least one of them happens to be gay, wow, that's so gay...

Must have heard that one b4...

SC

 

[pausanias_usa]

You are flirting back. Isn't that enough to know what is going on?

Keep in mind "flirting" is a straight-guy bonding thing at the college level. They'll grow out of it -- but you??? hmm.

 

[strangelittleboy]

Honestly, I think you're full of yourself and you should find something better to do.

 

[Oden_grey]

I've noticed that an overactive mind can put alternate meanings on things that are quite innocent. I really don't think that a good looking guy looking at someone always means he is sexually interested in that person. In a crowed room where is a person to look? At the ceiling?

You are probably one of a handful of gay or bisexual men living the Greek life at your university. I certainly don't think that you are in an environment to explore your sexuality because there's apparently far more to go wrong than right... especially in fraternities in the south.

I suggest to try to keep your urges at bay until you come out. When you are out and people KNOW you are gay, then stares and bumps are not subject to interpretation.

 

[natedogg323]

Based on what I know bout frat guys, this is all very innocent playful behavior. I think you might be reading into things a little too much. Some of what you said could be a guy being curious. I think you may give off more of a gay signal then you realize and your rep may proceed you. What i mean is, people know your bi/gay and guys get playful around you trying to test the waters??? Just my theory.

 

[attallaborn]

Honestly, I think you're full of yourself and you should find something better to do

I've noticed that an overactive mind can put alternate meanings on things that are quite innocent. I really don't think that a good looking guy looking at someone always means he is sexually interested in that person. In a crowed room where is a person to look? At the ceiling? You are probably one of a handful of gay or bisexual men living the Greek life at your university. I certainly don't think that you are in an environment to explore your sexuality because there's apparently far more to go wrong than right... especially in fraternities in the south. I suggest to try to keep your urges at bay until you come out. When you are out and people KNOW you are gay, then stares and bumps are not subject to interpretation.

 

[attallaborn]

Thanks for your comments guys! Some of your comments have been very helpful but to those who have scathing remarks, I’d like to make some stuff very clear. First, I mentioned that I don’t entice this type of attention nor do I think I’m hot shit. Second, I know I’m in an environment that doesn’t think very highly of gays (No, No) so why would I be out looking for gay love? Third, I’m not some naïve, puppy eyed queen, who thinks that every attractive guy who happens to glance at me is gay and I know that guys (especially jocks) are playful, touchy and may pretend to play gay around his “close” friends. What I’m describing to you goes deeper for these guys are NOT my friends, make their flirting almost apparent but proclaim to be the straightest men to walk the earth since the Vikings. As far as flirting, yes I may be partially to blame for I do my fair share but for me, this is a mind game to see how far I can push hypocrisy. Why not feel up a green eyed, chiseled face, curly haired, buff and tall jock if they’ll let you? I’m not the hypocrite, for I do not deny that I think most these guys are hot, nor do I deny that I’m gay but they do. What I have a problem with is why me and why the consistency of the flirting, stares and comments if they aren’t gay. So, to get back and prove a point, I flirt like hell with the ones people don’t have a clue are probably gay, if they are. I mean, I have had guys grab my sack, smack my ass, squeeze my arm muscles, tell me im sexy…just all kinds of stuff. Its not cool when your trying to play straight lol.

 

[rareboy]

Maybe the only way you can solve this difficulty is to stop 'playing straight' and be honest with yourself and your associates and finally leap out of that closet that seems to have a partly open door!

Second the motion.

 

[strangelittleboy]

but to those who have scathing remarks

If you're referring to me, I was just stating my opinion. You say you're not trying to attract attention to yourself. If that's true, why be such an obvious flirt for something that may or may not be true in regards to one of these guys? If it were me, I would concentrate on something more important instead of expending all of my energy on something so frivolous.