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What should i do? I need advise on sex

C

corey212

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I'm 18, and i turned it almost a month ago, and i'm a virgin. like 100% virgin. I haven't touch a guy or even seen a guy naked. I want so badly to do something with a guy. I've been looking on grindr, and i've been looking into cruising. I have a huge fear for stds. but ive heard that if you get a blowjob the risks arent that high for herpes. and alot of people say that I should want my first time, to mean something, but do i really care about that. I honestly dont really care for being in a relationship. I'm happy being single. should I really have to being in a relationship for sex. I would just probably jerk off a guy, or frot. something small until im ready for blowjob or something. what should i do?
if you have any tips on cruising, they would be helpful too.
 
I'm 18, and i turned it almost a month ago, and i'm a virgin. like 100% virgin. I haven't touch a guy or even seen a guy naked.

Unless you were home schooled you whole life.......you had gym class in Jr/Hs........pretty hard not to see a dick/naked schoolmates while in gym.................bit of a stretch.

But you just need to relax and enjoy the aromas, feelings, sensations, joy of having sex...
 
racer2438 said:
Unless you were home schooled you whole life.......you had gym class in Jr/Hs........pretty hard not to see a dick/naked schoolmates while in gym.................bit of a stretch.
Click to expand...

Those days are long gone. Its absolutely possible for him not to have seen a dick in school.

Most schools stopped that showering rule a long time ago. Thank goodness.
 
^

Homophobia does play a part in it, but Im guessing that it has more to do with how much HS sucks. Its traumatizing enough w/o having to display your body in front of bullies and pervy gym teachers.
 
racer2438 said:
I'm 18, and i turned it almost a month ago, and i'm a virgin. like 100% virgin. I haven't touch a guy or even seen a guy naked.

Unless you were home schooled you whole life.......you had gym class in Jr/Hs........pretty hard not to see a dick/naked schoolmates while in gym.................bit of a stretch.

But you just need to relax and enjoy the aromas, feelings, sensations, joy of having sex...
Click to expand...


The only dick I saw in gym were the accidental popouts, and that was rare.

The only time we were required and that was loose, was in middle school, and I think that was only because our gym teacher was a perve and wanted to see us naked.
 
Corey, you sound desperate. Desperation can lead to bad decisions, which can lead to regret. You're 18 years old, calm down.
 
thanks for advice. my attitude isn't so much that I'm embarrassed about being a virgin or i feel pressure about having sex. i just feel like i've been masturbating for about like 6-7 years now, and i kinda want to get into some action. and also in gym class we didnt shower. I'd only see guys in underwear. But just thinking back, and in my entire life, I have never seen another persons penis in real life, only through the internet lol.
 
Sex, romance and love are different things and while they can take place in combination, only one of them is referred to as a "drive." I think it's good that you are thinking and asking about sex instead of allowing your sex drive to take over without thought. You're entitled to a sex life and as long as it involves consenting non-minors, you get to choose what it will entail and with whom you'll play. The key factor in hooking up is safety and not being pressured in doing something you don't want to do. I've been with my husband for almost 30 years, so I'll leave the advice of how to proceed with grindr and other sites to others. Just keep in mind that until you actually meet someone he'll be a stranger and that's where common sense precaution comes into play. Use the internet and any available gay friendly clinic to inform yourself regarding stds and their transmission. You'll also find info and advice here in the health forum. Take care and best wishes. :)
 
Hey there, jack100x!

In the long run, your first time is the worst. Just have some fun, but your best sexual encounters will be much later.

My first time with a guy, I didn't even really know how to kiss. Each time, you learn something new.

You should definitely try Grindr, since there will be a lot of guys your age that are in your position.

Have fun!
 
MissAnne said:
^

Homophobia does play a part in it, but Im guessing that it has more to do with how much HS sucks. Its traumatizing enough w/o having to display your body in front of bullies and pervy gym teachers.
Click to expand...

Speak for yourself, maybe?

I think the whole body-negative hide-in-shame thing amplifies the trauma tbqh. Not everyone experienced bullies and pervy gym teachers. And not everyone who was bullied cared about changing or showering in the gym locker room. It's normal and unthreatening to be able to change in an open room or shower for the pool.


Anyway, on topic: don't worry about a deadline for having sex. If a relationship is not important to you, you don't need to be in love to have sex. But it is waay easier and safer for your health to have a friend with benefits who is sane and low-mileage, someone you get to know and trust even if there is no romance between you. Picking up strangers, fucking randoms….well, there's no condom thick enough to make me relax about that. Plus it is not necessary to fuck a stranger just to get laid. Do you have any horny friends?
 
Helllluurrr~

I would recommend a friend with benefits. If you have any other gay/bi friends who would be interested in helpin' ya out, I'd say that is one of the "safest" routs. Still, condoms are key. (Typically if you have anal sex.)

Oral sex with condoms is usually unrealistic, but still encouraged.

If you don't have a friend with benefits, make one !! If you're too paranoid about STD's, that's what condoms/underwear/hands/kissing/frottage/fleshlights are for !! xD

Now, when it comes to hookin' up with strangers, you ALWAYS need to be safe. This means: Text a friend/person you trust where you're going to go and always use a condom. (This is what my friends does. I always tell him to text me where he's going if he's gonna hook up, cause he's such a filthy WHORE !! :P)

Whatever you do, don't let temptation or pressure determine your actions. Stay smart. If you're going to hook up, I HIGHLY recommend you do so being SOBER. (No drugs/alcohol)

You always want to be aware of your surroundings/actions.

You never know. The world always throws curve balls !! xP

Anyway, keep it cute.

Hopefully my input helps !!

<3
 
I don't know if it's just me, but sex isn't all that unless I'm with a boyfriend. I'm perfectly fine with masturbation while I'm single. I don't know... its just.... I don't want you if you aren't "mine", ya know? I'm the type of guy who wants to wake up together the next morning.

Anyways, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when i was 17. We were both comfortable with each other so it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Also, having a boyfriend that you trust minimizes the fear of an STD.

Also worth pointing out... You're a "100%" virgin... as you say. No contact with a guy, ever. If you can't even kiss or touch a guy, do you honestly think you'll have the courage to strip naked in front a total stranger and have sex with him?

Not everyone's a "random hookup on grindr" type of guy.
 
^
This.

I forgot you said you're only 18. There really should be no rush to have sex with someone.

If you're still in high school or on the way to college, you'll eventually meet some gay/bi guys there.

And thus, shit will go DOWN like you want it to. ;D

Now, I could suggest going to a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) club on your campus if it's available. You can meet new friends there that could potentially turn into something more. Or the friends you meet there could introduce you to their other friends, etc.

Really, you have a lot of choices you can make. But I would personally say just go with the flow. Shit happens when you normally don't expect it.

Yeah...

<3
 
I suspect that most gay men have their first sexual experience with another man after 18. I didn't have my first experience until I was 19; my partner's first experience was at 24.
 
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