What should I do?

[SilentbutSweet64]

Bet your all tired of threads huh.

Okay so I texted my buddy today and I wasn't having that great of a day. Didn't get any sleep last night, had to wake up for class at 5 am and people in my class suck. So he asks what's wrong and I tell him but he never replies back. I hate when he does that... so I replied again about an hour later.... then again 4 hours later and then a while ago and still nothing. I don't like bothering him at work and I know he's busy but I mean he use to just text back. I keep telling my self to just leave it alone and text him another day but I worry I guess.

So.... I wrote this up and want to send it to him but before I do I don't want to make a mistake and just screw things up even more.

"Hey Pa.... Im really sorry if I keep bothering you when you're working and texting you a lot. I just really like talking to you and miss the random texts you use to send me everyday just saying hello. It put a smile on my face everyday and everything felt like it didn't matter and I had no worries. When Im in class wishing I wasn't their I get a text from you and I would light up inside and not worry about anyone in the room and just work knowing that you were maybe thinking of me.

I cant help but always think about you. You're a very funny guy and talented, and I say it all the time but you are so very very HOT! I don't see a 34 year old man when I look into your eyes.... I see an amazing person who I care about. Love it when you make me laugh. I wish I was more like you and not always so shy and insecure. But like I told your before, I feel very comfortable with you. I like the three times we got to hangout and talk and just relax. I really don't regret loosing my virginity to you at all pa, seriously. There are many things that I regret doing and wish I could go back and to change things but I would never want to change the fact that I met you.

I don't know what you feel when our lips touch, but I enjoy it and wish we didn't stop. You asked me to lay down with you that day and I couldn't be happier. Would love to do that more often and just take a load off and rest in your arms.

I know your not looking for a relationship and I wasn't looking for one either..... But your always on my mind man. I really didn't think I would fall for a guy but man you had an affect on me from the moment I was in your car that night when you came to see me. Hell I would love to be in a relationship with you though, but I know thats not what you want.

I cant sleep half the time, I get headaches from thinking about you so much. That day when you came over I had a headache... and It was cause all day you were on my mind. But when you were coming by I felt a lot better. Yea I swallowed a pill but I say you were my pill that made me feel better.

One day the lady you fall for is going to be one lucky lady and Ill be happy for you pa when that day comes.

I don't know but I feel the need to be apart of your life.... Because I do not want to lose this friendship, this thing that we have. I don't like losing the people I care about in my life. It just leaves another hole in my heart that could never be restored.

I really appreciate you Papi and just hope you understand."

So now what....?

 

[anchihiro]

You're going to send all that in a text???

Honestly, whats the story here? You're a young inexperienced guy maybe 18-21, am i right? Along comes 34 year old, has sex with you, texts you abit but this clearly means ten times more to you than it does to him.
Is he a closet bisexual?

I think you've fallen for him and won't like the outcome of whats probably going to happen at some point when you get the brush off.
It's nice that he brightened your day, but you need to be in a place where you can create other things to do that, instead of relying on this one individual.
I think you need time to develop yourself more and be happy in your own skin. Sorry.

 

[2untru]

i don't like it, too much all at once. it's like playing hot potato with your heart and it'll suck when he's not ready and drops it.

not to mention that is like 20 pages of text messages. if he's not responding to a couple messages, he might get irritated.

 

[altlover85]

As much as you may enjoy spending time with this guy, if he says he's not ready for a relationship, there's no reason to send this to him, unless you want to do it for catharsis.

If he isn't even responding to your small texts, I don't think he would be more apt to respond to this longer message.

I also don't really love the whole thing about wanting to be with him and feeling happy for him when he's finally with a woman. To me, it reads a little odd, even if it is how you feel.

If you feel he's going to end up with a woman, why invest all this energy into him? Find someone who will be more into you than a guy that isn't answering your texts.

 

[redips]

I agree with what everyone else has already said. Keep the message to yourself. It's too long and personal, especially given what he told you.

 

[backpacker]

I agree with all above. There is a good chance that message will scare him away. The reality appears to be that he's not as into you as you are into him. Put your energy into finding some who wants the same thing as you.

 

[KaraBulut]

A lot of the time, young guys get caught up in their own thoughts and have the overwhelming urge to unload them on other people. It almost always goes as well as vomiting on someone would go.

If you need to get this out of your system, write it out (which you've done here) and then tear up the piece of paper and move on.

There's a bit of an obsessive nature to all of this. As if you want something from this guy and you're going to keep at it until you get whatever it is that you are looking for. That's not healthy for you and it's not healthy for him. Whatever you need to do to rein in this behavior- please do it.

 

[SilentbutSweet64]

I see what you guys all mean. I just can't find anything to really do. I have classes most of the time and go to the gym to but other than that I'm home watching TV or playing video games.

And I was not going to send this through text, that's just ridiculous.

 

[TX-Beau]

So, you're bored and decided to send the emotional equivalent of a hydrogen bomb?

I don't see the logic of that. If you sent that to me - after I'd told you I didn't want a relationship, I'd be heading for the hills. It's over the top, maudlin, and kinda stalkerish.

Whatever you may feel, there is a level of appropriateness that needs to be considered in how you express your feelings.

What do you expect him to do with that? Immediately see the error of his ways and express his undying love for you?

THINK about what you're doing.

 

[altlover85]

I see what you guys all mean. I just can't find anything to really do. I have classes most of the time and go to the gym to but other than that I'm home watching TV or playing video games.

Have you thought about joining any clubs?

 

[Seasoned]

Are you closeted? The reason I ask is that oftentimes the closeted person who finds a fun and sexual guy will latch on because all problems around sexual orientation seem solved. I would like you and anyone else reading this to understand both people in a relationship need their own lives and their own interests and friends.

I've been with my partner for 27 years. We love each other and we enjoy each other, but we have our own friends and we do our own things.

If you ever found someone who would respond positively to what you wrote you'd be setting yourself up for at least emotional abuse. Never agree to accept crumbs or be a stopgap until someone's true love comes along.

Dismissing every student in every class as not worth your time sets you apart and it begins to look like you're a snob. As a former teacher I'd like to tell you in the most gentle of ways to shut off the fuckin' phone when you're in class. I mean that in a tongue and cheek way, but really, if you are never apart from a person something is wrong. Even your mother who I assumed loved you very much would occasionally get a babysitter just to have a life.

I don't mean any of this to be harsh, but I want you to imagine me as an older gay relative, someone who knows the pain you must be in, but also someone who knows the greater pain ahead if no one grabs your attention.

I care more about the long term consequences then what is going on short term. With social distractions you give yourself the chance to meet other people. It's great that you had a good time with this guy, but it may have gone as far as it's going.

Someone who is 34 is a little old for the constant and continual stay in touch generation. And I think your story is proof of what you miss when you do that.

I'll be happy to lend an ear about relationship angst if you want to pm me. I don't want you to be afraid to look for support when you need it. Even if more experienced people can see the writing on the wall, it is, after all new to you. Take good and healthy care of yourself. Don't send the note.