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what should i do? :/

P

paligay

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so i met a guy on grindr that lives near me but im a virgin and never even had a relationship with a guy. im not sure if i should meet up with him or not. im nervous and scared and he has reassured me that nothing has to happen and he just wants me to meet up with him at his dorm and in his words "just hang". what should i do?
 
You'll be a virgin forever unless to take an opportunity like this sooner or later. I wouldn't meet him at his dorm though. I'd suggest meeting somewhere more public. A coffee shop maybe.
 
... grow a pair, take life by the horns, and go have some fun... take condoms, just in case.


... or you could be that 40 yo virgin who (if JUB is still around) is writing about that time 20 years ago he regrets not doing when he had the chance.
 
Good to hear you have taken the important step to make some contacts with other gays. I tend to think that both of you are students and that both of you are around the same age. I can imagine myself very good that you are nervous and scared.

Be open to him that this will be the first time you meet a guy under such kind of circumstances. I would go for it and meet him in his dorm for a 'hang out', or for whatever will happen. Please be aware that you must always say 'no' when things are happening you don't like, and that's is also free for you to go home whenever you like. Very likely, the guy is a nice and a friendly guy, just like you.

Good luck and please keep us informed.
 
If you're uneasy meet him for a coffee and then see how you feel about him. Once you begin hooking up with guys always use your judgement when deciding whether or not to be sexual. Don't allow yourself to be pressured or guilt tripped or intimidated.
 
unloadonme said:
I wouldn't meet him at his dorm though. I'd suggest meeting somewhere more public. A coffee shop maybe.
Click to expand...

Excellent advice that was worth repeating. That marked in bold is the most important, it could save your life if this guy is dangerous. He may not be and this may unnecessary. But it is your life, and that is worth the precaution.

The italicized portion is a great place to start. Pretty much everybody can find something at a coffee shop for their personal tastes and its public enough for safety, yet personal enough that you can get to know each other.
 
If you're feeling so unsure about it, meet him in a café during daytime for lunch or coffee. You can still go home with him aferwards or on a second date if you guys click.

If you decide to not meet this guy after all for any reason after agreeing on a date, have the decency to inform him, preferably in advance. It's ok to chicken out, but standing someone up is lousy, and way too many fags do it.
 
^ This.

Let us know how it goes.
 
Don't meet someone for the first time at their place unless you're open to the idea of something sexual happening. If you are a nervous virgin, meet the guy at a public place for coffee or lunch. There is no expectation that you have to meet at a private place or put out on the first time.
 
I kinda agree that the grindr guy was speaking grindr-ese and just looking for a hookup. In which case asking him for a demure cup of public coffee would get you nowhere. Which is why I wanted to know what happened.
 
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