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What the heck just happened?!

M

mcbg22

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So I took a different bus route to get home from work today and the bus was full so I was stuck standing up in a corner trying not to be crushed by other people. The guy sitting opposite of me kept looking at me up and down during the whole ride (40 minutes). I tried not looking at him just because I'm shy but every time I did, he looked up right at my face and kept smiling. Was he flirting or what? I kinda have some issues accepting being gay and stuff (that's a whole other story) so I don't really have any experience flirting with other guys. I was kind of panicking the whole time because I didn't know what to do but a part of me liked it. Maybe I'll take the same bus tomorrow lol. Anyway sorry for rambling, I just needed to get this out because it shook me up big time lol.
 
swerve said:
^Taking the same bus tomorrow is a GREAT start!!! ..|

:):):)
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lol thanks but do you think he was flirting?! I dunno, I've always been kind of oblivious to to this kind of thing but I was really weirded out because I knew he was looking at me the whole time and when I looked at him, he always smiled. I dunno what I should have done if he was flirting though..
 
Well -- IF he is on the same bus tomorrow -- strike up a conversation!!!

You can SMILE and say something like "Hey, weren't you riding the same bus yesterday?"

Its EASIER than you think...

You DON'T need to FLIRT back -- just be nice and receptive!!!

:):):)
 
mc,

If he was decent looking, take it as a compliment - that he liked what he say. Accept the fact that you could be attractive to people. Take some positive reinforcement from the interaction. If you want and do see him again, nod or smile back. Or if you want to take the lead, say something.

Do play it safe and please don't take any risks.

Rand
 
I'm still in an "adapting" phase too, and have also been in situations where im not sure if someone was flirting with me.

My approach has been to assume not if they weren't attractive to me, and then forget about it. But for the cases where I thought they were attractive, I assume they were and just feel good about it for the rest of the day.! Its a great ego boost to take that attitude.

So I'll assume he was cute and say "DUDE! the cute guy was flirting with you. All Right!!" ..|

When you are ready, you'll take the same bus the next day.
 
That's a good policy, NCDogGuy. I myself assume everyone is flirting with me, and I tend to flirt a lot with my eyes in general. It's always an ego-boost, regardless of whether I like the person or not.
 
He wasn't on the bus today :( I did notice yesterday that he had a gym bag with him so maybe he only takes that bus line to go to the gym every few days. Maybe I'll see him again tomorrow.
 
mcbg22 said:
He wasn't on the bus today :( I did notice yesterday that he had a gym bag with him so maybe he only takes that bus line to go to the gym every few days. Maybe I'll see him again tomorrow.
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It's an important life lesson; opportunity may only strike once. Far too often when were young it's easy to put things off or be afraid to take a chance. The sooner people learn to go out of their way to introduce themselves or ask someone out the happier they will be.
 
Well, he may have been flirting with you! It'll be hard to know for sure, though. I think taking the same bus is a good idea, because he may actually start talking to you next time. But don't invest too much time into it.
 
Here's an interesting update: I went to the mall this week during lunch and I saw him in the bathroom at the urinal and I'm pretty sure he was jerking off LOL. There was a guy next to him and they were both kind of looking down at each other. I just went in to pee and they were there and when I was done and about to leave, they were still there. I don't think he noticed me though. At least now I know he probably was flirting with me on the bus but I don't think I'm interested in someone who cruises in bathrooms. Eek!
 
mcbg22 said:
Here's an interesting update: I went to the mall this week during lunch and I saw him in the bathroom at the urinal and I'm pretty sure he was jerking off LOL. There was a guy next to him and they were both kind of looking down at each other. I just went in to pee and they were there and when I was done and about to leave, they were still there. I don't think he noticed me though. At least now I know he probably was flirting with me on the bus but I don't think I'm interested in someone who cruises in bathrooms. Eek!
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Hi Mcbg22,

Thanks for the update. I second the advise of others to 'train' yourself to say 'hi' (or anything like that) to guys who behave similar as this guy to you (ie flirting in the bus). I mean, there is nothing wrong to say 'hi' to guys, and to have some small talk with them. You told in one of the earlier posts that you are (still) shy and that you 'kinda have some issues accepting being gay and stuff' like that. I tend to think that this has alot to do with your own identity and your own personality.

I mean, you can use having smalltalks about 'nothing' with random straight guys you meet, at work or in a shop or whenever, to work on yourself in becoming less shy and working towards making yourself more strong. It does not matter at all that they are straight, it matters that you need to develop the skills to make easily 'small-talks' with guys. Afterwards, this will also be much easier when you get confronted with guys who are flirting with you (and who might be interested in you).

Well, just my 2 cents. Maybe I am totally wrong.

Best wishes, and good luck. Take your time.

I think you are right that you are the one who chooses with whom you engage yourself. When you don't like some habits of this particular guy (gay?), well there are enough others.
 
I mean, you can use having smalltalks about 'nothing' with random straight guys you meet, at work or in a shop or whenever, to work on yourself in becoming less shy and working towards making yourself more strong. It does not matter at all that they are straight, it matters that you need to develop the skills to make easily 'small-talks' with guys. Afterwards, this will also be much easier when you get confronted with guys who are flirting with you (and who might be
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This!!
Doing exactly this (with women too) has done wonders for my confidence.

And good luck, and remember, he was checking you out!
 
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