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What way is the best way to come out...?

I think it's more about when you're ready than when they're ready. They'll never be truly ready any more than you'll be 100% comfortable coming out.

Do it when you're ready. As Vacabbie said, in person is better, but a letter is fine if that's what you're comfortable with and if you talk to them afterwards.

Good luck!
 
It's YOU who has to be comfortable, not them. Those I have come out to (who are not gay) have actually been shocked and I don't think they would have ever been ready. However, as time goes by it becomes a natural acceptance. If you feel better starting with a letter then do that. The important thing is to do it. Trust me - you will feel so much better.
 
It DEFINATELY has to be when YOU are ready . I'd write a letter , then read it to them in person ... that way you do not lose your train of though etc ... Tell them before hand that you have something to say and that NO ONE is to Interrupt you until you are finished . Best of Luck !!
 
In person is always best, but not everyone can do that over and over again, so as long as the letter is heartfelt and explains everything, it'll do. You should also invite them to ask you questions.
 
bw92116 said:
Why tell someone who would be shocked? Why do that to them? That's just dumb. Unless they ask you, they don't want to know. Why not respect them and their desire to not know? That's far more caring and loving than simply dropping it on them when "you're ready" but they are not.
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What if they never ask? Is it okay for him to suffer at their expense?

If you're more comfortable with the letter go with it... plus it'll give them a chance to sort of comprehend things and get past their initial shock before you confront them to chat. ..|
 
Do it in the way that makes you most comfortable, but I suggest to try and not make a huge deal out of it. Take your time.
 
what suits you is best. i feel that most of us can express ourselves more openly when writing. i think it's a good idea.
 
G'day Djarielm,

Congats on your acceptance of yourself and your decision to live openly and honestly with those who care for you and love you... mate its a courageous step and one to be really proud of.

Its a sign of your character your morales and values that you want to tell these people. There will always be wildly varying views on how why where and even whether or not you should as you can see here. The thing for you is that you have made the decision, it feels right for you, its something that you dont want to hide in the sense that you want to be honest with the people you love. Its a personal choice...one that allows you the freedom to live your life without fear or retribution from hiding and lies.

As to how to do it...well if you feel comfortable with the letter...do it. But hand deliver it. Sit there while its read. Just be there at the time.

There will be questions, there will most likely be a range of emotions from all parties. All of you guys will need to talk...the letter will break the ice and explain your side but parents in particular will need reassurance that your ok and that you're happy. And thats best done face to face.

And realise that all the letter may not be read initially...emotions will be running high and reading can sometimes just take too long...

There is no right or wrong time to do this. No one can be prepared for what you are about to tell them. Their level of love and acceptance wont change depending on the "time"...its about you their son and friend. Just find a quiet place where you can talk, be open, be reassuring and most of all a place where you can show yourself to them for the first time. The same guy that they have always known and loved, the same values and traits...the same integrity. Just find a time and place where you can be as comfortable about as you can.

Congrats again Djarielm...more power to you. I hope you take heart in your strength and conviction. They're pretty amazing things!
 
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