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What would you do?

Roland00

Roland00

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What would you do if a family member, younger sibling if you have one, called you an X Queer during the holidays? X being another degenerate word.
 
takes one to know one...................fucker
 
"well, at least I'm not a close-minded, ignorant X" said very matter of factly and move on. X being a degenerate word.
 
I find knowing the reason what caused him/her to be so annoyed that much for them to call you that may help. Are they jealous? Are they just being spiteful? Or is there a deeper thing going on? Is it their own insecurity? Is it peer pressure? Is is the fear of people talking about you that made them do it? Is it because their friends are making their life a hell because he/she is related to someone who is gay?

Find out first before acting. It may save you a future of misery.
 
You could consider that siblings always trash talk each oher and if this is the worst thing to ever happen in your life you are one damn lucky person!


If there is more meaning to a nasty comment from a sibling other than the usual sibling trash talk, it would help if you clued people in on what that context is.
 
Well, since I do not have younger siblings I would not know how to handle it personally. Though in similar situations, I have been known to cut out those people from my life completely ... as I have no time to deal with the ignorance of others.
 
I'd be really upset and deal with it right then. All of my anger about growing up in a homophobic world and being marginalized and discriminated against would come flying out and I'd let them have it.

You see, I hold all of that stuff in with polite company but not when someone attacks me or speaks abusively to me. And on the rare occasions that this has happened, I feel really good afterwards.
 
star-warrior said:
I find knowing the reason what caused him/her to be so annoyed that much for them to call you that may help. Are they jealous? Are they just being spiteful? Or is there a deeper thing going on? Is it their own insecurity? Is it peer pressure? Is is the fear of people talking about you that made them do it? Is it because their friends are making their life a hell because he/she is related to someone who is gay?

Find out first before acting. It may save you a future of misery.
Click to expand...

It was my 14 year old brother, he is at the age where he is pissed off at everybody, feel marginalized when he isn't, thinks the whole world is out to get him, and is just uncomfortable. (Aka a teenager with hormones ;) )
 
hermanding said:
how about telling us what you did--
ding
Click to expand...

Nothing for it was in my grandma's house, and didn't want to create a scene. Actually I told him to grow up, but effectively nothing.

If it was somewhere else he would have a black eye. I love my brother and would do anything for him, but he would still get the black eye.
 
If it was just your 14 year-old little brother it's not so bad. You've described his situation perfectly. Hormones are making him say things he normally wouldn't say.

(still, show him who's boss next time ;) )
 
he may not normally say that but he may think that.

I can care less if my parents or my grandparents thought that, but from my siblings its different. I am the oldest and I would do anything for my siblings, and to hear that from the youngest one, well it removed one of the last strings of trust I have with my family.
 
Your brother is just at the age when hormones start raging while rationality lags behind and he'll be feeling very vulnerable about his own sexuality. Supposing he knows you're gay: if he's straight he'll be threatened by your gayness, and the possible implications of hereditary, and feel the need to assert his sexuality by the homophobic outburst; if he's gay his motivation may be similar - feeling that your outness puts pressure ion him to be out too - a position he may not be ready to adopt.

The best course of action is to ignore his behaviour, wait for him to grow up, and support him as well as you are able. Of course, if you are NOT out, then revealing your sexual affiliations to him will be one way to nip his homophobia in the bud.
 
I understand why that would be hard on you, Roland. But if he's 14 and you're grown up then there still is a power differential in your relationship.

So I would treat him as a rebellious teenager and try really hard not to take it personally. I would tell him that his words hurt me and ask him never to say that again.

I am sorry to hear about the situation though, and the loss you must be feeling.
 
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