What's wrong with me?!

[Grey_Sky]

Well, I've met this guy at a nightclub a month ago. We hooked up, kissed and (for my surprise) had an amazing chat inside his car for over an hour. And that was it.

Next week we kept talking by phone and messenger (he lives in a city 1 hour away from mine) and at the end of the week he invited me to visit him and stay the night (he still lives with his family). Initially I thought it was a little too soon for that, but since he said it was ok, I ended up going anyway. And it was great!! We had amazing sex and seemed to be connecting very well.

So I came back home and a few days later he ask me to be his boyfriend (!!) through messenger. Once again, we only knew each other for 9 days, and I thought he was going a bit too fast, but since I was really starting to like him, I said yes.

After that, he came to spend a weekend in my home (I still live with my parents as well) and at New Year's I went to his house again and stayed there for 5 days. It was all magical! His family recieved me with open arms and we were really getting along very well.

I know that he's completely in love with me, for he keeps on saying he can't imagine his life without me and that he has plans for us together, keeps sending me messages all day and calls me whenever he can.

But here is the catch... I don't know if I'm on the same level of commitment about him and it bothers me a lot... I know I like him a lot and have strong feelings for him, but I don't think I can call it LOVE. Not yet, at least...

As I've said before, I think we might have skiped a few steps and went too fast in our relationship and I think I might need a little more time to let it develop and to see I really love him. But I'm affaid to hurt him if I decide to talk obut it with him, asking for us to slow things up a little. I'm affraid he'll feel "less-loved" or even betrayed...

What should I do?!

 

[cityboi]

You have to be honest and tell him that things have been moving too fast for you. Odds are he'll understand and ask how he can make you feel more comfortable.

 

[vamp]

I n any healthy relationship, honesty is a must. Just tell him what your thinking and feeling and, if he truly cares for you, he'll understand and do whatever he can to make you more comfortable. It sounds like this guy cares deeply for you and it would be a shame for anything negative to happen to you relationship with this guy. Just be honest and open with him.

 

[Lube]

What they said. (And there isn't anything wrong with you!)

Just be honest. Tell him he's moving too fast. It's called being clingy, and it's a huge turnoff for a lot of guys.

If he gets pissed at you, then you know it was just a crush he has on you. A real boyfriend would understand.

 

[backpacker]

My guess is that he's more in infatuation than in love with you at this point. As you noted, it takes time to develop love for another person. Given that you are uncomfortable with the rate things are moving, you should be up front with him. Tell him that you really like him a lot, want to continue seeing him, but that things are moving a little too fast for you. If he cares about you as much as he says, he will be OK with this. If he has a very bad reaction or tries to make you feel guilty about it, you should treat these as big red flags about being in a relationship with him.

 

[racer2438]

So you have to be totally honest and have a good talk over lunch/dinner face to face, not phone/text.

You have to say what you feel and how you feel and that you like were it's going but you dont want to make any mistakes that might jepordize the relationship. You dont want to be hurt nor do you want to hurt him. So tell him lets just go a bit slower and watch it develope and it will allow you to grow and feel each other out. Make sure you impress that you dont want to stop and you wnat to go forward but just a bit slower.

You cant love someone if it is not in you. One sided love does not work.

if you dont have the talk soon it may get out of hand and it may be to late and someone may get hurt..

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm gonna jump on the "be honest" bandwagon with one caveat:

Before you tell him how you feel, make sure you know how you feel.

The only thing more powerful than fear of failure is fear of success. When things are going great- you meet a great guy, he likes you, you like him, his parents like you, yada yada yada....

But there's always this voice in the back of your head saying, "Hold back", "This is happening to fast", "It's too good to be true"...

You need to figure out why that voice is speaking up now.

It might be that you just don't feel it yet. Or it might be that your 'creep-o-meter' is being set off by the possibility this guy is too good to be true. Or it might be that you just don't have the self-confidence to believe that you deserve to be happy.

So, before you take that "be honest" step, make you're being honest with yourself.

 

[Artisticboy89]

In my personal opinion I find nothing wrong with you except your logic. Love is a noun not a destination. Who is to say what you feel for him isn't love.

Ask yourself this, are you unhappy because you do not like spending time with him, or are you unhappy because things have moved fast?

In any case I'm probably the worst person to ask about relationship advice... but I don't think there is anything to be 'honest' about. It seems more that you are afraid that you aren't the right one for him not the other way around, if anything caring about him more then yourself is a sign of 'love'... be honest with yourself, find the answer you want and then talk to him if you find in necessary.