When a debate becomes an argument

[eddielee]

We've all seen it happen. Someone posts something. Another person disagrees. Most of the time that turns into a civil debate. People respectfully exchange thoughts and ideas. Though sometimes heated, the debate is not hostile.

We've also seen debates turn into big arguments. It's no longer about exchanging ideas, it's about having the last word. The thread then becomes a battleground. People start "hitting below the belt" by firing cheap shots. It's a power struggle to see who can be dominate. Cleverly disguised personal attacks are common. It usually ends when someone has had enough and storms off.

At what point does a debate turn into an argument? In your opinion, when are things getting out of hand?

 

[Pegasus69]

When the debate turns into personal attacks and generalized statements of unflattering nature........ Or my feelings get hurt..............

 

[TaigaStar]

I agree. A debate becomes an argument once the line of discussing opinions becomes personal attacks. I'd presume this to be when any word is used to describe someone in a derrogatory way. (And usually, at that point, I avoid the thread like the plague.)

 

[Andreus]

The moment someone disrespects someone it becomes an arguement.
That happens alot.
That and name calling.

hmmm

take a look at this thread if you havent yet

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112478&highlight=adult+bullies

 

[Elwood]

I find people around here lately to be very judgemental. I find that there is allot of morals pushing going on, which inturn usually turns into arguments. I am not saying everyone has to agree with every thread but why does everyone feel so obligated to tell the poster how wrong they think their idea, thread, or what ever is.

 

[Andreus]

I find people around here lately to be very judgemental. I find that there is allot of morals pushing going on, which inturn usually turns into arguments. I am not saying everyone has to agree with every thread but why does everyone feel so obligated to tell the poster how wrong they think their idea, thread, or what ever is.

i love a spirited debate, but i detest the nasty turn and tone that some posts take

just dont get why anyone thinks they will reach a real consensus with people that way

unfortunately i am rather reactionary to that type of post

 

[Yves]

Personal attacks, name calling and ego. Sometimes arguments start when a poster decides to reinforce his/her own ego or Internet persona/image at the expense of a frank exchange of ideas.

 

[Elwood]

I am going to post again because I found An example of what I mean. Take a look at this thread http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112769.

Now before everyone jumps down my throat, let me explain. When I read the first post I assumed the postee was either young or talking about when he was young. Somehow I do not see a man trying to get a feel of his friend. And yes I did that when I was a teenager I sort of see it as my exploration days, and I also don't see anything wrong with it. Now again I am talking the occasional feel not a habitual grabber.

However allot of people jumped in and called it rape??? I mean really, I do not think that is what the original poster was talking about, but allot of people assumed the worst and attacked. After reading the whole thread I got the feeling like Oh my god does no one remember what is like to be young and experimental?? And where did all these politically correct gay men come from?

 

[Andreus]

I am not fond of settling old issues in someone elses thread, Elwood.

you had me convinced you were onto something until you did that

People need to know, especially young men, what is acceptable and what isnt. That is so that they wont get arrested, beaten , or bashed for not knowing what is ok.

we need to help our young gay men by being frank and honest, yet not abusive.

I am disapointed that you dug up an old arguement in this thread. if I were the thread starter, i'd ask a mod to remove your post and mine.

It would have been a good discussion, but I wont open it up anymore to find out.

 

[mike_n_herrin]

um...it's hard to say. I think it is probably just before personal attacks start. it's probably already crossed the line by the time you get to throwing out hateful comments. but i don't know...it's just too hard to say.

i'm not sure what "dug up ...old argument" elwood pulled up. i looked at that other thread and i guess i skimmed it to fast, cause i didn't see an argument?

 

[GL]

Having been in Debate myself while in school I tend to look at it as a very structured means to discuss and weigh issues. The Affirmative has X amount of time to present their argument, then the Negative has X amount of time for cross examination and then X amount of time to mount a rebuttal and so forth. What we have here is really not that at all. Most of the time its really just argument for argument's sake. The animosity some parties display for one another blurs the line between argument and personal attack. But that's just my opinion.

 

[Andreus]

i'm not sure what "dug up ...old argument" elwood pulled up. i looked at that other thread and i guess i skimmed it to fast, cause i didn't see an argument?

read the thread....

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112769

and then read this part of the post

yes I did that when I was a teenager I sort of see it as my exploration days, and I also don't see anything wrong with it. Now again I am talking the occasional feel not a habitual grabber.

However allot of people jumped in and called it rape??? I mean really, I do not think that is what the original poster was talking about, but allot of people assumed the worst and attacked. After reading the whole thread I got the feeling like Oh my god does no one remember what is like to be young and experimental?? And where did all these politically correct gay men come from?

and really

i know i said i wasnt going to post anymore here, but this is a big big problem IMHO

people jump from thread to thread and they cant let old debates and arguements go.... and so the prejudices and resentments just carry from thread to thread until the pressure cooker explodes

over and over and over and over

 

[The_Reaper]

I once saw two political pundits on TV get from debate to arguement....

The old one called the fat one fat.....The fat one walked off set, and then proceeded to throw a chair at the old one.

I think when objects get thrown, that's when it becomes an arguement.

 

[Elwood]

read the thread....

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112769

and then read this part of the post



and really

i know i said i wasnt going to post anymore here, but this is a big big problem IMHO

people jump from thread to thread and they cant let old debates and arguements go.... and so the prejudices and resentments just carry from thread to thread until the pressure cooker explodes

over and over and over and over

I have PMed Andreus with an answer to my last post but that is before I read this post. Now let me explain a little further Andreus and everybody I was using that thread as an example, I saw it as simple teenage exploration. Remember when you were a horny teenager?? Do I recommend that young people do that? Of course not. Is it right to do that? No. I used that thread because I feel that people are getting very judgemental around here, and I thought the was a good example because what I saw as simple teenage exploration other people saw as rape. Andreus that is the only reason I used that thread, in my mind it was a good example of what I was talking about. I did not mean to bring up any old arguments and in no way did I think that I would. I truly believe you are reading to much into it. I am sorry if I offended you that was not my point.

 

[Andreus]

um...it's hard to say. I think it is probably just before personal attacks start. it's probably already crossed the line by the time you get to throwing out hateful comments. but i don't know...it's just too hard to say.

i'm not sure what "dug up ...old argument" elwood pulled up. i looked at that other thread and i guess i skimmed it to fast, cause i didn't see an argument?

no offence taken in the way you are percieving

it is just an example of how huge fights break out at jub...

now all the people involved in that other thread will feel a need to argue the point here.

if we couldnt figure it out the last time, all it will do is derail this one...

i usually agree with your posts,and I probably do here as well, but this time we just have to disagree on the wisdom of your methods