When did you start and stop going to gay clubs? A naive question from someone who just came out

[wherewereu]

I want to preface this by saying that I'm 24, and I only recently came out to my close friends. Although a huge weight was lifted from my chest, I feel like I came out so late that I missed out on a lot of experiences, including (specifically gay) clubbing?

Mind you, up until now I'd only ever been to a straight club once and that was because it isn't really my kind of thing. But it's so hard as a gay man to find a guy, even if only for casual flirting (I know a club isn't the best place for a serious relationship anyway), that you become desperate because besides online dating it's one of the few avenues for us? So even though I'm more of a shy, stay-at-home kind of person, it's definitely something I want to try.

I know, I know, from what I've read, there are people clubbing even into their 30's, and there are many clubs catering to specific age ranges including well beyond 30. But I've read some reviews recently of many of the most popular clubs in CA where it seems like the age range is 18-22, and beyond that you're deemed a creeper. So many other forums I've browsed claim anything from as young as 25 is "too old" to about 30.
Has the ship sailed for me? LOL

 

[Mako247]

started going at 21
stopped going at 25

 

[Rolyo85]

Started at 25 when I came out. Haven't stopped, and don't have the desire to at the moment. I'm 26 going on 27 now. It's all about WHY you go to bars. If you wanna troll for sex and get rejected too many times, you'll become all bitter, hating "gay culture" and "bars" and stop going. If you go to have a good time with friends, I see no reason to stop going until it stops being pleasant.

 

[IowaGuy]

I started in my 20's and still go occasionally ( I'm 70) now. I love dancing and all my friends are much younger than me so we all have a good time!

 

[palbert]

A club is a club and gays build too many expectations into them. Take it for what it offers. If you don't find one where you enjoy yourself, go to the movies. NOTE: do not judge a club by your first visit: each club has its own "magic."

 

[torontoguy90]

No the ship has not sailed for you, if you want to go, then go. Don't let the opinions of other's impact your decision.
You'll be a creeper if you start hitting on guys and they tell you to stop, but you continue.

Age is just a number.

And to answer your question, I'm 19, and never been. Not my cup of tea.

 

[Praxus]

Went to two or three when I turned 21, hated the experience and have never gone to another yet, and am now 35.

 

[Seasoned]

I came out at 31 but went to clubs in my late 20s with my gay younger brother. I met my husband when I was 36 and he was 29 and we were dancing fools for a number of years.

 

[hotatlboi]

Started going when i was 16.
And i haven't stopped dancing yet, thats the main reason i go to them, for the dancing, if i pick up someone then great, if not i just dance the night away.

yes this.

I'm 28 now and still love to go. I could care less if I get sex, I love dancing and even better if I get to dance with people. Remember, lot more hot guys will dance with you than will hook up with you. I agree that if you are going there to hook up, there gets to be a certain age where that will not work as well, and you might become bitter. As to when that is, it really depends more on looks than age.

 

[youngnihilist]

Started at 21 though some of my friends started at 18, because there are a couple 18+ clubs, guess I never got that. 25 now and still going all the time. I like to drink and i like social and i live next door to all the gay bars, so thats why

but i will say in my 4 years of being a gay barfly, i have several friends who used to go all the time and stop going or rarely go... they got bored, or settled down,, got busy at work...

 

[MindBlast]

I started going at 18 (the legal age here for alcohol, which I didn't even drink and still don't). I stopped going at about 20 (except now if some friends want to go, I'll go, but only for an hour or two, I'm 28). I just got bored. It doesn't help that there are only 2 gay clubs here, and they both suck. I like to dance but only if the music is good and the venue is not a trashy run-down building. What is it with LGBT venues being run-down anyway? At least that's how it is here. They must not be very profitable.

 

[habs22]

I started going when I was 21. Because I was previously reluctant and shy, I went berserk, and the first few months I went crazy and was always going to (gay and straight) clubs with friends, and had some embarrassing and blackout nights.

After that wave, though, I went much less(twice a month pre-relationship, about once a month post-relationship). It was good to get that first wave out of my system.

 

[G-Lexington]

Never really started, never really stopped.

I went to a few gay clubs in my mid-20s, but it was mainly to meet friends who wanted to meet there. It was never really my scene, although I can't say I had any issues with anybody there. I didn't feel like they were looking at me askance or anything (I was overweight and not much to look at). I just didn't like going to this loud place to interact with anybody. I'll still go now if somebody wants to meet there. I was at a gay/male strip club a few months ago, and some young guy propositioned me out of the blue. It was hellaciously flattering, but I turned him down.

Lex

 

[Scealle]

I haven't started. Actually haven't been to any normal clubs or pubs My good friend teased me the other day that she want to drag me to one and be my "wingman" lol. A lot of my freinds went to clubs, most just want to dance there & some wants to meet people. Most of them at about 20-24 (21 is the legal drinking age here). I don't think people are too old for clubs though.

 

[hotb0d]

I started going a few weeks after my 21st...then stopped at 23. The things that I want to find are just not there at a gay bar. So why bother?

 

[Ninjato]

I actually started when I was 24. I mostly went to straight clubs every now and then. Some of my friends were unsure of my sexuality so they surprised me with a trip to the Abbey in West Hollywood. I had a lot fun and now I love going out. It was actually the first time I got buzzed. I'm a really shy but not when I have alcohol in me as I've learned. I go to dance (going tomorrow) but it's cool meeting random people to talk to. I'm 26 (27 next month) and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon but I might slow down. Most of my friends started early so they're a little tired of it and I'm starting to feel it. Stick to 21+ and over. I stopped going to Rage because they were too young hahaha. I gave my number to one guy I met but I wasn't really interested in. He was 20 and when he found out my age he just stopped texting me. I didn't care anyway. But I see a lot of 25+ people at clubs.

 

[Lube]

So even though I'm more of a shy, stay-at-home kind of person, it's definitely something I want to try.

Live it up! Try it!

But my guess is it won't be very satisfying to you if you're a homebody.

I'll out myself as a dork by saying I go to GLBT country dancing and contra dances, where the music isn't so loud and you can talk, and I have a great time.

 

[SpeedDemonNYC]

I've only been to a "gay" club once, and even there the straights outnumbered the queers altogether. That's Northeast PA for you!

 

[maxpowr9]

Started at 21 and stopped at 23. The bar scene in Boston gets old FAST. In MA especially, there is a pretty strong push for gays to settle down. You don't want to be the bitter queen trolling bars for twinks post-30.

 

[AlmondMilk]

I started when I was 21...mainly because before then I didn't have a car, friends who'd go with me, and I either worked or took classes that preoccupied my time. I stopped at 21 I'm too busy and broke. All of my money either goes to tuition or my car. YAY!