When I can outed?

[TheMan4]

Hey everybody,

I'm gay, ofc...But only my one friend know and my parents/big bro know that I'm gay.
almost all of my friends don't like gays. so should i tell them now or later???

I need help badly...i hate to keep it secret.

I hope u guys can help me

or any feedback?

or whatever...just help me

 

[LouieAnderson]

I'm kinda the opposite. Only all my friends know, and my family doesn't. When I started I went friend by friend, in order of which ones I knew would be more accepting and not tell the others till I was ready to.

The last close friend that I told is REALLY homophobic (i think he has bi-tendacies and is overcompensating for it) was really shocked and disgusted at first, but it didn't last long.

If he hadn't excepted it at all, at least I already knew that he couldn't turn all my others friends against me.

 

[landers]

In your situation, if your family and at least one of your friends already know I'd probably come out to the rest of my friends sooner rather than later.

You say your friends hate gays so coming out to them will have one of two effects. Your friends are ignorant on the subject of homosexuality and once they know you're gay they'll come around or two, your friends will hate you because you're gay and they aren't really your friends.

If you know your friends hate gays then they probably make insulting/derogatory remarks about us and if you hang around with them you'll probably have to put up with them saying some very hurtful things. So telling them will either make them come to their senses and they'll stop deriding gays, or they'll stop being your friends and continue with the insults. Either way the outcome is better than hoping they're your friends and not knowing for sure.

 

[TheMan4]

Hmmm...very interesting...u guys have very good point...Thanks...I will think about this.

If more guys want to help me, then go ahead

 

[rareboy]

Your friends have to decide whether they like you or just their idea of you.

Many of these people aren't your friends, just friendly.

Your real friends will love you for everything you are, the same way you love them.

Ditch the rest.

 

[sb]

I thought coming out to friends was the easy part..... but I never did hang around with ignorant hateful people. Just come out to them.... they will either change their pov and the friendships will continue or they arent worth being friends with and you'll find new ones.

 

[TheMan4]

Yeah, coming out to friends is easy part, but i have different kind of friends, so...but as u guys said that i should not hang out with them cuz they kind of insult us. You are right. But for me, coming out to family is easy part...Ur guys use good choice of words!!!


Other suggestion???

 

[KaraBulut]

I agree with rareboy. Tell them.

If your friends don't know this important detail about you, then they are not really friends, are they?

Hint: the real friends will be the ones who stand by you.

The rest are not worth your time or effort: they're not your friend, never were and never will be.

 

[TheMan4]

Yeah, ur guys are right...So it will not made no difference if i outed? Am i right??

 

[KaraBulut]

So it will not made no difference if i outed?

It will make all the difference in the world, actually.