Where do I meet gay guys?

[Lube]

This is the subject of many a thread here on JUB.

And I just wanted to say that I just came back from the gayest of gay places: the art museum.

If you want to meet a gay guy and chat about a common interest, it's about as perfect a place as any!

Good luck.



Any other suggestions?

 

[G-Lexington]

Night clubs
Galleries
Libraries
Boutiques
Pet stores
Book stores
Comic stores
Music stores
Sporting goods stores
Chain stores
Local restaurants
Chain restaurants
Fast-food restaurants
Grocery stores
Auto parts stores
The gym
The swimming pool
The archery range
The shooting range
Pool halls
Baseball games
Basketball games
Football games
Soccer games
Bus stops
The bus
The DMV
Three streets down
One street down
Your street
Your block

You don't have to go meet gay guys. You're meeting gay guys every day. You don't need "luck" finding gay guys. You need a pair of eyes and a pair of balls.

Lex

 

[Lube]

True enough, but the guys who ask this question are typically not out enough to chat someone up at a football game.

You do make a good point that you should go where your interests lie--and look for someone with similar interests.

 

[CumAlong]

I have the worst luck finding gay guys on campus, but the best luck finding super hot straight guys that will never give me a second thought

Perhaps I should get a pair of these "balls" you are talking about...or maybe it is time to just come out fully.

 

[TX-Beau]

If everyone knows you're gay, I find that gay guys pop up pretty much everywhere.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>True enough, but the guys who ask this question are typically not out enough to chat someone up at a football game.

They're also not out enough to go somewhere where gay people are. Or even if they do, they divide the men into two categories - "straight" (read: "normal") and "gay" (read: "in-your-face femmy guys that I find a total turn-off"). The unspoken question in "where can I meet gay guys", when asked by closeted and uncomfortable gay men, is "is there a place I can go where nobody will figure out that I'm gay except that one very-straight-acting gay guy who will surrepetitiously approach me so as not to alert anybody else in the place and arrange for a date at some more secluded non-public place?" And, y'know, good luck with that.

Lex

 

[TX-Beau]

They're also not out enough to go somewhere where gay people are. Or even if they do, they divide the men into two categories - "straight" (read: "normal") and "gay" (read: "in-your-face femmy guys that I find a total turn-off"). The unspoken question in "where can I meet gay guys", when asked by closeted and uncomfortable gay men, is "is there a place I can go where nobody will figure out that I'm gay except that one very-straight-acting gay guy who will surrepetitiously approach me so as not to alert anybody else in the place and arrange for a date at some more secluded non-public place?" And, y'know, good luck with that.

Lex

LOL............ The truth will set you free...

 

[Lube]

They're also not out enough to go somewhere where gay people are. Or even if they do, they divide the men into two categories - "straight" (read: "normal") and "gay" (read: "in-your-face femmy guys that I find a total turn-off"). The unspoken question in "where can I meet gay guys", when asked by closeted and uncomfortable gay men, is "is there a place I can go where nobody will figure out that I'm gay except that one very-straight-acting gay guy who will surrepetitiously approach me so as not to alert anybody else in the place and arrange for a date at some more secluded non-public place?" And, y'know, good luck with that.

Lex

Ha ha! I practically fell off my chair reading that one. Nice call, Lex!

 

[CumAlong]

>>>True enough, but the guys who ask this question are typically not out enough to chat someone up at a football game.

They're also not out enough to go somewhere where gay people are. Or even if they do, they divide the men into two categories - "straight" (read: "normal") and "gay" (read: "in-your-face femmy guys that I find a total turn-off"). The unspoken question in "where can I meet gay guys", when asked by closeted and uncomfortable gay men, is "is there a place I can go where nobody will figure out that I'm gay except that one very-straight-acting gay guy who will surrepetitiously approach me so as not to alert anybody else in the place and arrange for a date at some more secluded non-public place?" And, y'know, good luck with that.

Lex

So true in my case...

 

[Lube]

So true in my case...

Would it make it easier to come out if you knew people already knew/suspected that you were gay/bi? Just pretend they do.

 

[rareboy]

Bath houses are also a safe bet.

 

[hotatlboi]

I have the worst luck finding gay guys on campus, but the best luck finding super hot straight guys that will never give me a second thought

Perhaps I should get a pair of these "balls" you are talking about...or maybe it is time to just come out fully.

Dude a college campus is just about the easiest place ever to meet gay guys at.

I met them at:

parties
the dining hall
the library
the dorms
gay clubs/organizations
gay activities
outside green space
the student center
the rec center

etc etc

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Perhaps I should get a pair of these "balls" you are talking about...or maybe it is time to just come out fully.

There's a reason many of us out seem so intent on getting others on this side of the closet door. It isn't because of some vague socio-political agenda, necessarily, although I do believe the fewer closeted, the better. It's because we've seen how much it simplifies things. When you're out, you don't have to panic about whether people see you "doing something gay" - be that laughing a bit too high, or staring at a guy a bit too long, or even chatting up somebody you find interesting. And when you're out, it's easier to go chat with other gay guys. Yes, there's still that "working up the nerve" thing, and the fear of rejection. But you've removed that "what if he tells somebody" layer. You can just be you.

As I said at the start of the thread, gays ARE everywhere. Sure, there's a heavier concentration in certain areas, but there's a potential of them being everywhere. So go start some conversations. It might end up that they're straight, or gay-but-not-interested-in-you. That's totally fine. They might still make a good friend, and who couldn't use more of those?

Lex

 

[Ryuusei Boy]

>>>True enough, but the guys who ask this question are typically not out enough to chat someone up at a football game.

They're also not out enough to go somewhere where gay people are. Or even if they do, they divide the men into two categories - "straight" (read: "normal") and "gay" (read: "in-your-face femmy guys that I find a total turn-off"). The unspoken question in "where can I meet gay guys", when asked by closeted and uncomfortable gay men, is "is there a place I can go where nobody will figure out that I'm gay except that one very-straight-acting gay guy who will surrepetitiously approach me so as not to alert anybody else in the place and arrange for a date at some more secluded non-public place?" And, y'know, good luck with that.

Lex

Lol, this couldn't be more true.

 

[Achilleus]

Coming out is hard to do, when it seems like a complete repudiation of everything in your life before. When you know that your family will be hurt by it.


Damn the Christian religion, how can something contain so much beauty, but then have such a dark side? Blessed are the meek, blessed are the peacemakers, love your neighbor. But, then go shun the gays, cuz they're going to hell.

The closet seems such a nice, dark, safe place. Yes, if only you could find your one true love, and pull him in there, and not deal with the consequences.

I have never thought myself a coward, but the thought of coming out causes my cajones, to shrivel up to the size of, well your average professional bodybuilders after years of steroid abuse.

Lex, you're a wise man.

 

[Lube]

Damn the Christian religion, how can something contain so much beauty, but then have such a dark side? Blessed are the meek, blessed are the peacemakers, love your neighbor. But, then go shun the gays, cuz they're going to hell.

It's an enormous double standard, when you think about it.

I mean, of all those child molestation cases by priests: how many were for little girls? Very few. It was mainly boys and young men. The priesthood, like the closet, was a safe place for gay men to hide. It's jam-packed full of homos.

And yet the American bishops are one of the biggest campaigners against gay marriage.

Remind you of all the conservative Christian televangelists who got caught in homosexual activities?

Anyone who's vehemently anti-gay is probably hiding a little secret of his own.

 

[Lube]

And it's not just the US. A similar scandal was recently unearthed in Ireland. It's likely the same everywhere.

 

[Audio Tech]

Huh.... I'd like to find someone in Los Angeles that would want to TALK to me as well. I could go all sorts of places here to meet Gay men, IF I wanted to have a one night stand, anyway.

It just isn't that simple.

 

[Achilleus]

This place, JUB, seems a great place to meet people, granted it's not in the flesh, but it's a start.

I think for many of us coming out is a process not a one time event. Maybe some fly straight away out of the closet, but for a lot of us it takes time.

I am not out to my family or friends or the world in general. But I am to you all. I am a lot more out than I was just a few days ago. The closet door is cracking open, and a pair of eyes is looking out, wondering what's out there.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Huh.... I'd like to find someone in Los Angeles that would want to TALK to me as well. I could go all sorts of places here to meet Gay men, IF I wanted to have a one night stand, anyway. It just isn't that simple.

Given - it's easier to get laid than get a friend. But that's probably true whether you're straight or gay. Getting laid means finding someone ready and willing. Getting a friend means finding someone you click with, and who clicks with you, and building a friendship. But it's the same as becoming friends with straight guys or women. You go out, you meet some people, you start some conversations, and you see if anything develops. If you specifically want gay friends, go where the gay folks are. In LA, there are plenty of "gay areas", and just by striking up conversations in shops and boutiques and on the street, you might find some possibilities. If not, a quick Google search of "gay los angeles (activity)" should give you bike clubs, volunteer groups, social clubs, and whatever else you might be interested in.

>>>I think for many of us coming out is a process not a one time event.

I don't recall if it was you specifically I said this to recently, but for many of us, coming out wasn't an event at all. I didn't invite people to a coming-out party, or make an announcement over a big family dinner. I just chose not to lie (or refrain from mentioning) anymore. When I made a move on a guy (and got turned down), I told my friends "Well, I made a play for someone last night, but he said no". To which they basically said "Wow, that sucks". (Because I got shot down, not because I'm gay.) And life continued on.

Lex