Where to begin?

[peeonme]

I have a bad headache. So bad that I drank a few beers rapidly to ease the pain. The headache isn't from anything other than listening to a family member bitch (please don't try to guess who this person is). This has been going on for some time, I used to just listen (it happens on the phone) but for whatever reason it now triggers my PTSD (I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist) it brings on terrible headaches and suicidal thoughts.
We all have troubles in life, but in my opinion if we have food and shelter in this life we are pretty fortunate. I want to find a nice way to say "shut the fuck up" without doing any damage to someone who just doesn't seem to be wrapped very tight.
This person smokes weed daily, could that have an impact on their behavior? Advise?

 

[backagain]

If that family member is calling and causes this reaction, then don't pick up the phone. Slowly back up. Limit the exposure time. May not be easy, but look after yourself first. Someone else's troubles are not your responsibility. One cannot fix everything.

 

[unloadonme]

I agree. Don't answer the phone.

Beer is usually used to install a headache rather than to cure one. If I were you, I'd take something like paracetamol instead.

 

[rareboy]

I have a bad headache. So bad that I drank a few beers rapidly to ease the pain. The headache isn't from anything other than listening to a family member bitch (please don't try to guess who this person is). This has been going on for some time, I used to just listen (it happens on the phone) but for whatever reason it now triggers my PTSD (I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist) it brings on terrible headaches and suicidal thoughts.
We all have troubles in life, but in my opinion if we have food and shelter in this life we are pretty fortunate. I want to find a nice way to say "shut the fuck up" without doing any damage to someone who just doesn't seem to be wrapped very tight.
This person smokes weed daily, could that have an impact on their behavior? Advise?

Talking to potheads is often exhausting.

Particularly if you aren't feeling that great yourself.

Sometimes, you probably need to let them know that you are right in the middle of something and will call them back the next day or so.

 

[NotHardUp1]

Even without the pot, letting a caller repeatedly rant is enabling behavior.

My brother used to call and vent about his horrible parents-in-law and sister-in-law, and all their progeny. It was drama, drama, drama. And my brother's wife was raised in that weak-minded mentality, so she was ALWAYS in the center of drama.

He always shared it as if I gave a damn about his in-laws, any of them. They were terrible people, trashy people. I eventually told him directly that I still loved him but that I didn't want any updates on the soap opera.

You're talking about an adult here, of whatever intelligence. There's no reason why you can't be clear that you love that person, but that the whining and venting are depressing you. "I care, but listening to the list over and over isn't helping you, and it is hurting me. I'd like to talk about the good things around us. Maybe it will help you refocus too."

 

[Vannie]

Next time put the phone by your butt hole and let and a big loud fart.

Then hang up and laugh your ass off.

Hopefully you had stuffed cabbages for lunch.

 

[peeonme]

All of you are right, much appreciated!

 

[PrinceCory]

This person smokes weed daily, could that have an impact on their behavior? Advise?

I'm in the same situation as peeonme. I'm soaking in the advise given here.